One Last Thing

Mary Cuevas

Mary Cuevas

Mary Cuevas
Location
Tucson, Arizona, USA
Birthday
November 08
Bio
Freelance writer, educator, blogger. Have dabbled in documentary filmmaking. Dropped out of college to experience life. Lived in most major cities in USA and also London, England and Wellington, New Zealand. Waited tables while traveling and living for these ten years. Returned to college, studied history at UCLA, earned a BA. Taught overseas in Bogota, Colombia and Gumi, S. Korea.

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NOVEMBER 17, 2013 2:27PM

Open Letter to Doris Lessing

Rate: 4 Flag

Doris_Lessing-Chris_Saunders  

Dear Ms. Lessing,
I would like to share what your book, The Golden Notebook, means to me.

I will begin with London. I am from the United States, however, I moved to London with my New Zealander boyfriend, Paul, in 1987. We met while living in the greater Los Angeles area, Newport Beach to be exact.

Before we moved to London, I worked as a waitress at an elite restaurant, wore the latest fashions, drank expensive wines, drove a trendy car. That being said, even through my debauchery and shallow life, and even though I was a college drop out, I continued to read literature.

While living in London I was reading Dosteovsky, Gunter Grass, and Vonnegut. I also read and loved The Guardian newspaper. You see, Ms. Lessing, I was pretending I was a literature major at university. I would think about these books after I read them and write little notes about the books in a journal I kept.

I worked at a cafe on High Holburn called, My Old Dutch, near the West End. At the cafe, I met the most amazing women I have ever encountered in my life to this day. One from Italy, one from Sardinia, and one had an English father and Spanish mother.

Agostina from Sardinia had just returned from a six month journey through South America. Carmen from Italy had many lovers a dozen years younger banging on her door at all hours of the night begging to be let in. The brilliant English/Spanish girl, Glamorous Janice, was working on her law degree and sleeping with a  man who read the tabloid called The Sun...or was it The Standard. It was the tabloid with the half naked woman on page three. Anyway...

All of these women were so strong and adventurous. We spent nearly every afternoon together when our lunch shift ended at 2pm until 6pm when we had to return for the dinner shift.

We walked to Convent Garden/Neal's Yard to have lunch at Food for Thought, a cheap, but good vegetarian cafe.. We shared stories, discussed the cultural differences between our countries, and of course discussed our men.

These women had such amazing stories and lives. So well-traveled. They opened up a whole new world to me. I felt that my life thus far in the culturally vacuous wasteland of Los Angeles was meaningless.

Carmen had coincidentally moved to New Zealand with a boyfriend she met in London who was filthy rich, but tight with his money. She lasted less than a year in Wellington before running back to London. She shared with me countless horror stories of her time there.

Paul also came from a wealthy family and was tight with his money. Carmen kept telling me how New Zealand was like stepping back in time in terms of how they viewed a woman's role. Carmen was a devout feminist and could not tolerate this sort of view.

As a matter of fact, when I began having trouble with Paul, Carmen kept warning me not to go to New Zealand with him. Paul had asked me to marry him and come with him to his home in New Zealand while we were living in London.

I spent a four hour lunch with Carmen on the day I was to purchase the one way tickets to New Zealand. We consumed two bottles of Pinot Grigio while I listened to Carmen's list of reasons not to go to New Zealand.

At the end of this marathon lunch, I told Carmen that if I did not go, I may wonder the rest of my life if I made the right decision. I told her London may be why we were having problems since Paul and I got along so well in California. Carmen and I walked... more like stumbled and staggered across the street to the travel agent's where I purchased non-refundable one way tickets to New Zealand.

We left London on yet another bone chilling cold and rainy November morning. I was happy to leave the weather behind, but so sad to leave my new friends who had become like sisters to me.

While in New Zealand I was feeling very much like I wanted more from my life than being a wife, country club memberships, tennis with the other wives, etc. I told Paul that I wanted to go back to university. I was 29 at the time. He said I was too old.

To make a long story short, shortly after my boyfriend crushed my dream of a university education, I was home one afternoon escaping my mundane reality with the Gabriel Garcia Marquez book, One Hundred Years of Solitude. His writing lifted me out of my house and flew me across oceans to the far away and exotic country of Colombia into the lives of the characters in the story.

I had all the french doors and windows open in our country house outside Wellington on this warm fall day.

I put a pot of potatoes on to boil for dinner in between chapters. I did not notice or smell that the water had burned down. The potatoes were on the verge of burning when Paul came home. The cross breeze from the open windows and doors kept the smell from reaching me in the living room. He picked up the pot and threw it across the kitchen.

Paul stomped into the living room and yelled that he was tired of my reading books all the time. I left the living room for the bedroom and called the wife of one of Paul's friends. I asked her to come and get me.

I left New Zealand shortly after that, returned to the greater Los Angeles area, and enrolled in a community college. I had the summer to kill before classes began in the fall. I found a job as a waitress in a cheap diner, shopped at thrift stores, and rode a bicycle for transportation.

I ran across your book, The Golden Notebook, in a bookstore that summer. It was the most perfect book for me to read at this turning point in my life. I could not put it down. I read it every waking moment when I wasn't working until I finished it. Such powerful characters and stories. I can't tell you how much I loved this book. It had the most profound impact on me.

There were moments, mostly in the evening when I was alone, that I questioned whether I had made a mistake by leaving my "soon to be filthy rich" fiance. After reading your book, I knew I made the right decision. Your book helped me realize that there was more to life than country clubs and tolerating your husband's mistresses.

I graduated from UCLA with a degree in history in 1993. I have worked primarily as an educator in Arizona and California. Internationally, I have taught in Bogota, Colombia and Gumi, S. Korea. There were many times while I was in Colombia that I thought of my little Sardinian friend Agostina who traveled on her own through South America for six months. Meeting Agostina and listening to her stories on rainy afternoons in London helped give me the courage to move to Colombia.

I have also dabbled in documentary filmmaking and made a film on human rights abuses in Colombia. It made some festival circuits, was nominated for an award, and is still shown nationwide at colleges through Amnesty International groups on campuses.

I want to thank you for writing The Golden Notebook. Your book gave me the strength to forge on through some difficult times and countless obstacles while I was at university.

On an end note, it will be 26 years this month that I left London. I am still in contact with Agostina and Janice. We lost track of Carmen a few years after she returned to Milan. The last time I saw Carmen was in Milan in 1989. She had an Italian boyfriend who was at least a dozen years younger.

Agostina has traveled every continent as a translator on cruise ships. She speaks five languages. Agostina is now building a small hotel on Sardinia. She lives with her boyfriend in London. Janice is a lawyer. She works in what we call the DA's office here in the USA. Janice worked in sex crimes for a few years, but the child pornography got to her. She asked and was granted a transfer to homicide. She lives with her boyfriend;  a lawyer in her office.

I have heard through the grapevine that Paul owns loads of commercial real estate, boats, jet skis, married a nurse/aerobic instructor, had two kids, and had a very public affair with an Argentinian ex-beauty queen which ultimately caused his wife to ask for a divorce. She got a huge house out of the deal.

I still have the copy of The Golden Notebook I bought 25 years ago on my shelf and plan to pull it down tonight to read again.

Respectfully,


Mary Cuevas
Tucson, AZ


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An unconventional woman's thank you letter to an unconventional woman. I love it.
RIP Doris Lessing

/r.
P.S.
You did the right thing. Paul was not good enough for you.
Thank you onislandtime. It was a difficult decision. And yes, RIP Doris Lessing. She was a cool woman. She was caught off guard by reporters when she won the Nobel Prize. they were outside her flat. I'll never forget that news footage of her. Priceless.
Isn't it amazing how a book can change a life and turn it in a new direction? Following her recent death, I want to know more about Doris Lessing. She seems to have been a remarkable character, one-of-a-kind. And your own life seems to have followed a much more interesting trajectory since your having read The Golden Notebook.
that's really a fine piece. i could never read more than a few chapters of Lessing, she was way too female for me, but A HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE so awed me that i couldn't read an American novel for many years, let alone try to write one.
Wonderful...wish I was Doris.