I just spent a spectacular several days with my four twentyish-old children. I had the time of my life, even though there were several times when they severely annoyed me.
One of the main things that annoyed me was the continual texting on the cell phones that was going on. The texting never ends! On and on with the texting. At the restaurant, at the movie, right before their cousin’s wedding…I drew a line in the sand when one of them tried to text during our forced family bonding time on a walk in the magical woods of Marin.
I got so desperate with the never-ending texting I pulled out the Guilt card. “I’m your mother and went through considerable pain, deformation of my once perfect body and torture so you could be born into this wonderful world. Put the damn phone away already so you can enjoy some quality time with me!”
Now this kind of texting isn’t fatal, just extremely irritating. And they aren’t even teenagers anymore. But teenagers are a whole another animal.
Did you know that the average teenager sends approximately 1700 text messages a month (this does not include how many they receive that could reach into the gazillions)? For many, it’s more like 5000 "urgent" messages they are sending. And teens luuuuuve to text and drive. Don’t try to get between a teen and their texting or there will be hell to pay!
Now, earth to these kids and their parents:
It has now been proven that driving and texting are more dangerous than drunk driving!
Some sensible states, like California have passed laws prohibiting talking on the cell phone while driving. For some of the states that prohibit talking on a cell phone without a headset or Bluetooth device, there is a big time oversight in that there are no violations imposed upon texting and driving. There are a few states (including California) that have had the wisdom to ban T&D, but all states need to.
Watch this video from the Dr. Phil show that premieres on September 10th.
Forget the death panels for the elderly, this girl makes me a true believer in YOUTHANASIA!
Helicopter parents…where the hell are you? Are you so busy hovering over your children that you’ve lost sight of the fact that your kids have grown a sixth digit and it’s called a cell phone? Have you forgotten that you are the one that most likely purchased this addictive dangerous device for your kid and that you actually may have some power here? Have you gone from Helicopter Parent to Neglectful Nitwit Parent?
Call me old, call me a fuddy duddy, a Debbie downer, a real biaaaaatch. Call this a rant, a vent, a blatant prejudice towards the youth of this country.
Call me whatever you want and then shut the text up.
TEXT THIS BABY:
PARENTS: GROW A PAIR!
Don’t wait for your state to pass a law. Threaten permanent grounding, or even worse, take away their car privileges if you even get a whiff that they are texting while driving.
And then get honest with yourself. It’s time for us all to take a long look in the proverbial rear view mirror.
While teenagers far exceed the texting capacities of the average adult, we are more than guilty of texting and driving. I for one am ready and willing, although filled with shame, to admit that I have been guilty of texting and driving, especially after I got my new dangerously addictive iPhone.
It started with waiting at the red light, and progressed to the four lane highway. Fortunately for me, it was a short phase.
A mother in Denver killed a toddler while texting. The worst train accident in 15 years recently occurred in California because it is believed the driver of the train got distracted after receiving two text messages. 25 people were killed and 135 people were injured. The risk of getting in an accident while texting and driving increases by 50%.
Recently, this Public Service Announcement out of Great Britain has drawn criticism and controversy for its provocative message. Whateuuuuuver. Make your kids watch it. You watch it. If it saves one life….you know the drill. Stop texting and driving. Don't let your kids or anyone you love text and drive. Write your legislators or contact these people (thank you to alert reader MiddleAgedWomanBlogging!) Don't let you or others become another fatal statistic because of this narcissistic unnecessary activity.
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MissingK8
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Comments
And I hate the fact that it's such a generational thing. Although us over 40's do text, it isn't such an integral part of our lives. That's going to make it harder to get the message across, if it's seen as "old people" lecturing young people.
My kids are too old to ground and are living on their own. God willing they will live to see their grandchildren as I have! And then there's the subject of "Sexting" on the cell! And the majority of these kids ARE in middle school and high school! So glad that's behind me!
Maybe Budweiser needs to do one of its sarcastic "Real Men of Genius" commercials for the inventor of texting and in it state that the beer industry likes texting because it takes the heat off DUI by finally having something more dangerous.
I'm e-mailing this post to my kids and step-daughter.
Rated
On a personal note, just last week I watched as a young 20 something drove his SUV at high speed into the rear end of a tractor trailer moving at about 60mph on I-40. His car was totaled but he escaped with just minor cuts. He hit the truck so hard that it crumpled a steel/iron bumper on the rear of a huge truck.
As I helped this young guy out of his wrecked car he said "I had just received a message (text) and glanced down to read it and looked up and it was too late." He didn't realize that I had watched him actually increase his speed for at least five seconds and he acclerated into the truck. He was totally oblivious to his surroundings and his behavior while absorbed in the text.
I plead with my two kids to not twd, and I stopped doing it awhile ago myself.
Great message Mare - and it sounds like an awesome time with your girls (except for the annoying text stuff).
But texting? Maybe even at the ripe ol age of 24, I've got enough common sense to know better.
Contact Transportation Secretary, Ray Lahood!
Mary, thanks for the post about this matter. The more it is spoken about, the more we will spread the message: Don't Text & Drive!
- rated
"hang up and DRIVE". They seem to be addicted and intexicated with these phones which are never more than an inch away from their fast little fingers. They all need detext in leiu of detox.
I suggest a designated texter......IF they feel the enormous need (as they seem to) to text friends when they are already with friends while driving.
I see them when I am behind the wheel and yes, I give them the old "fuddy duddy" look, but who cares......I don't want to be a victim of their textident.
BIG NEW LAWS now please.....these people think they are ambitextrous but they are just dangerous risk taking drivers who can't be without some type of communication with their friends
for one second. I am sure it is my age...but I just don't get it.
I've done some texting while driving, but only in horrible traffic jams, of which Moscow has a lot. Nothing like spending an hour to go two blocks.
xo (:
I cannot tell you the number of kids, young adults I see (um, yes you my dear daughter who might be reading this) glued to their screens reading nonsense and texting nonsense back.
I'm with you. Great post mtk.
They are PHONES. They are meant for TALKING TO EACH OTHER (in our case, when something urgent comes up or when we are not at home).
Technology is great, but this concept of needing to be web-enabled 24/7/365 is just ludicrous.
Thumbed. Thanks for the PSA, because I'm on that road and my kids may be bicycling or walking or driving on that road as well.
The men who used to be unable to live without talking on the phone while driving now sport Bluetooth headsets, which many of them leave in place even when not in the car (a visit to Costco is like being in an excerpt from "One flew over the cuckoo's nest" as everyone appears to be talking to themselves).
But the women... I drive the 101 and 405 in LA each day on my commute, and sometimes other freeways, and my observation lately is that it's not just that it's mostly women ignoring the new law, it's that *most women I see on the freeway are ignoring it*. This is particularly true of the under-30 women.
It's a must-see for my girls.
I talk on my cell phone--somewhere between occasionally and often--while I drive, and I assume I'm probably not paying optimal attention while doing so. It's a hard habit to break, especially if one is crunched on time, but I support laws that curtail it. (Phil's question suggesting the girl continues to do her texting "just because she can" makes me cringe b/c it hits home; it's not against the law here so I continue to use my phone). Interestingly, a few studies suggest that hands-free phones don't solve the problem, indicating that it's an attention issue more than anything else.
My thoughtful son (I can't remember if linking to a post of my own here adds or subtracts a point on Lea's system.) has a different take on this whole thing. He thinks that evidence of dangerous driving--whether illegal lane changes, erratic speed or direction, etc.--should be the sole criteria for citing a driver. He says behaviors like putting on makeup, drinking hot coffee, eating doughnuts, turning around to retrieve items in the back seat, listening to an inflammatory radio program, fighting with a spouse, yelling at children, or soothing a crying baby are all also likely to detract from optimal attention but we can't legislate against all of those.
Someone had sent the PSA to me earlier and I put it on my Facebook page (now Facebook I like). I hope all parents watch it with their teens. It's really dangerous, it does kill, and it is sooooo avoidable. Why take the chance?
And that girl in the Dr. Phil piece??? She needs to be locked up.
I know someone who had her texting ability taken away (by the company) for awhile and became morose and silly about it as an adult. It's a strange thing, this obsession with phone chatting. I'm part of it and I don't get it.
Thanks for the attention to this...the PSA is chilling.
For once my state is ahead of the curve. It's been illegal to text and drive in VA since July 1 of this year.
cartouche and those interested: Check out this article:
http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/147827
Some wise companies are designing devices to be installed in cell phones that would make it impossible to text while driving.
I only answer my cell on speaker mode while driving. And if I am in a parking lot (the place most accidents happen) I let it go to voice mail or pull into a spot and answer. Even when I take a call on speaker I tell the caller I will call back and find a place to stop and return the call.
I would have to say almost every time someone has almost hit me or crossed the yellow line 90% of the time it is a person on a cell phone. If someone is driving slow and then fast then slow in front of me again it is someone talking on a cell phone.
In states that limit cell phone usage they see a drop in accidents. Texting should be totally against the law while driving with no exceptions.
At Starbucks if you are talking or texting on your cell they will skip you and take the next persons order until you are done. They do not allow people to hold up the line.
Don't get me wrong, cell phones are a real time saver, but I wonder when did we become so important that we need to be in constant contact with everyone all the time.
No, no. That's not what I meant to say.
It's easier to maintain that attitude within the society we live in, the belief that oh, it's not a big deal. Who cares? Why can't I just live my life and do what I want? It's not merely that the young lady texts while driving. She sincerely operates on the notion that she is an automaton and that her actions don't effect others. How else could she come to behave so recklessly? And it if she believes that, where do you think she gets that? Probably from her family, friends, and social setting. She also probably believes that all this talk about healthcare reform is irritating and a drag because she can't conceive of getting sick (or in a serious car accident).
Obviously I'm extrapolating quite a bit. For all I know she volunteers for Greenpeace. But why wouldn't she behave like almost every other American around her?
Can you still make citizen's arrests, or is that an urban myth?
M Todd...scary story and all to common. I got in a fender bender years ago when I was on my cell phone and trying to parallel park at the same time. What an idyiot ditz I was! I respect how careful you are with your cell phone. My wise oldest son told me that even talking on the cell phone with hands free devices still doesn't reduce the car accidents...it's a major distraction. I have a ways to go on this myself (and I have a car that has Bluetooth built into it, but you look down when you click a number to call).
drinkwater: I appreciated your extrapolation. The attitude of not caring about others and how our actions may affect others if unfortunately epidemic.
screamin: I couldn't watch the whole thing either.
John: I just spent 5 days in California and was on my cell phone before one of my children told me it was against the law (I had heard this but forgotten). It does make me wonder how the law is enforced. And John, really...would you want to attempt an arrest on the 405? Now that would really be taking your life in your hands!
I've watched these videos several time...just to remind me not to be tempted to text, long red light or not.
Cell phones are going to be the end of us. I instantly dislike people I see talking on their cell phones while walking down the street. And I talk on my cell phone while walking down the street. Apparently I'm not very fond of myself.
In Missouri they just enacted a law (today, actually) that makes it illegal for people under 21 to text and drive --
http://www.fox4kc.com/news/wdaf-story-texting-driving-missouri-082709,0,934982.story
Apparently the rest of us are mature enough to text and drive(?)
I'm not sure how much sense this makes, but I also can't say that I am innocent of ever having sneaked a quick tweet while negotiating traffic... Oh, hell! I'll admit. I've had entire SMS conversations during highway rush hour! I should probably NEVER do that again.
Really, because of the visual distraction, texting and driving is probably more dangerous than driving drunk while talking on the phone and eating at the same time.
It's definitely becoming a real issue.
What could possibly be so important that one can't wait for a safe time to read or respond? I am careful with speaking on the phone while driving (seldom do it) but found myself once this month doing it on the highway. It was not urgent, but it was a convenient time to make an important 10 minute call. Never again. But the other yahoos still will, and they'll end up getting me or one of mine killed.
I remember when Chicago first passed the cell phone head set law, where you had to have an earpiece to use while driving. My boss at the job I was at forgot his for the day so instead put people on speaker phone so he wouldn't be seen holding the phone up to his head. This of course, made it alot worse for his driving, since he was looking down at the phone.
As technology develops and gets popularized by our youth obsessed pop culture, we often forget about the same behaviors in regards to adults. I've seen a million people criticize the under 20 set for texting while out to dinner or whatever, but rarely do I see anyone criticize the over 20 set (full disclosure, I'm 30) for spending every waking moment firing emails from whatever PDA they're using.
Whether young or old, the technology has evolved to make every communication, be it from someone at the office or your BFF, seem like an immediate issue. We all feel the need to respond right away. Our culture is trying to catch up with that reality, I think. Remember when cell phones were only for super rich people? Remember when email would never replace the letter, because paper is more important than computers?
I'll confess, I could really only watch about 30 seconds of that Dr. Phil clip, since I find Dr. Phil little more than sensationalist fear mongering claptrap. What we really should be looking at is the overall need and desire every single one of us feels to be constantly connected to everyone all of the time. It's great, I won't lie - but do I really need to send that text at a red light? Does my boss really need to email me at 10:30pm at night? Do you need to call that client on Sunday? You can't legislate evolution. Scare tactics and punitive measures only scratch the surface of the problem, that we're all narcissistic and self absorbed.
I wonder what our lawmakers are waiting on. More studies? More dead children? To treat texting and driving any different than drunk driving is less than responsible.
A crash is an avoidable accident. Any crash caused by drinking or texting or talking on the phone) is avoidable.
I can't count the times I've had to struggle to get around someone who is driving very poorly only to see them with a phone stuck in their ear. Pull off the road if it's that important or wait to call the person back. It's not like you don't have a record of the call and voice mail.
Good work on this one, Mary.
And that was BEFORE texting. Dead on point. Those pesky brits got this one right.