As long as you can still smile somewhat naturally, you are on the reasonable side of the line. If you have to say every feeling you have though an oddly motionless mouth, then you are well beyond what reason allows.

And you won't look young with no facial motion either.

I've also thought about doing this because of that same line! It truly does make you look older or meaner....or maybe both. The question is, how often do you have to redo the procedure after it's been done? Thanks for your honesty and humor!

Mary,
Terrific writing. This really did have an “X-Files-sadist-doctor-episode” feel to it. Cheers on the point you’ve made so well that it’s the woman herself who should decide her rules. Freedom is less than free without autonomy. I’ll call you bright and very talented if you don’t mind.

Rated and much appreciated.

It's your face Mary. Who am I to throw stones? Allow me to say this though, you don't need it. It's still okay if you want it. Just make sure you are doing it for you and the feminist issue is moot.

Vanity, thy name is woman.

Or something like that.

Funny stuff. You start looking like Mary Tyler Moore or Cher and we're holding an intervention.

Okay, now I'm going to sound defensive. It's one friggin line that I got rid of. My face is not frozen. I don't look like Nicole Kidman or Megsie Ryan. My mother taught me moderation in everything. I run into people I haven't seen for awhile and they say, "Mary, you look fantastic! What is it?" And I say, "Duh, Botox silly!"

neilpaul: Yes, reasonable is good.

Harvey: My husband would love to say the same thing, but sadly he's seen me angry on more than one occasion.

patricia k: How often do you have to redo the procedure? Don't ask.

Dennis: You are the kindest person on the planet and I'm blessing you right now.

bobbot: You are right that I don't "need" it, but remember, you never saw that nasty long angry line. But of course I don't "need" it, but I wanted it gone and it is.

Gwool: You have my total permission for an intervention if I start going crazy and look like that.

I see that I started a fire and it has spread while I've been away! Great post. I won't tell a soul.

O'Really: I was thinking of you when I wrote this post. You did start something didn't you and I would expect nothing less from you and I mean that in the best of ways. And I appreciate you not telling anyone. It's kind of embarrassing, you know, and I'm hoping the mean girls don't come out in full force.

but so inexpressive?

Brian: I think there is a myth that botox takes away expression. If it is overdone, of course this is true, but if you ever met me, unless you had read this, you would never have known. I'm quite expressive and so is my face.

botox furnace botox furnace botox furnace, new roof, tractor, exterior paint on house and barn...I think my farm needs cosmetics and other improvements even more than I do in my 5o's...luckily my daughter is about to graduate from college... you look beautiful and red is a signature and fabulous color for you.

Mary, a great story and Botox has definitely become a huge profit center for those doctors who offer the procedure!

If it makes tyou feel better and is not harmful, go for it.

So appreciate your honesty, Mary. I feel that whatever anyone wants or does is totally ok, as long as it doesn't affect others adversely. When you act and feel younger than your age, and can go for it, why not look your best? Most of us wear makeup. do our hair, adorn ourselves in other ways. I can't see all that much difference. We can still be good feminists. (And I agree about Gloria Steinem.)

Doctors scare me. I hate going for annual check-ups, so going for any other reason is totally out of the question for me.

Ask me what I think of it in another twenty years.

:)

Every 4 months I get many phenol and botox injections, the ones in the foot are killers(I get electicity pumped in to locate the nerves)... Never been told any of them made me more attractive funny, but womenz I know are always jeally at how many cc's I get... We all age, some better than others, like a fine Bordeaux or a Mogen David... Guessin' you ain't no MD, sorry Doc! I say embrace it...
RRR for laughter...

I did it too! We eat our own dog food at our company which means everyone has to visit one of our doctors. It was LASIK, dental or Botox for my choices, and I chose the 'bo. My experience was different than yours - it didn't hurt,didn't bruise, and there was no numbness. Forehead lines were smooth, but I don't think I really looked younger, just smoother. It was an interesting experiment. It also lasted about 6 months which is scary, since a bad effect would have lasted 6 months as well.

Botox has nothing to do with feminism, any more than spending a lot of money on clothes has to do with feminism, or hair color, finger nail polish, jewelry or perfume. The beauty of women will always be more focused on than the looks of men. Feminism is about opportunity not being genderized, it has nothing to do at all with leveling the beauty playing field with products vs. birthright.

Very funny! I'm sure WAY more people are visiting the botox doc than we realize. We just think they look nice and naturally smooth.

Although when people do stuff to their lips - it looks weird.

Ban the mirrors! We don't feel the wrinkles inside-another of God's funny little jokes-I guess. I like your attitude of not giving a rip. It is very releasing isn't it? My only problem is that BoTox is one scary word.

I don't care if you went and had full body modification like China from RAW. It is your body and your money. If something makes you unhappy, you fix it. Fuck what everyone else thinks and stop wrinkling your forehead.

You mention that the doctor resembled the statue of David -- he did the procedure without pants? I admire his business sense. Serving chocolate, cheese and wine, he's obviously looking for repeat business via liposuction.

Well, I don't know about Botox, but I think I'm going to start snooping around the house to find that secret stash cash drawer!

Mary, did this truly hurt a lot? I'm just curious because I've heard such different things. What good is the numbing cream if there's no real numbing? I'm not at the Botox stage yet, but am not saying I never will be. The threat of major pain, however, might keep me in wrinkled-old-cronehood when the time comes.

My wife had botox. Now she can't smile.

Whatever makes you happy -- go for it! I fell into an azalea bush once and got stuck with thorns all around my mouth and eyes. I imagine botox treatments feel a whole lot like that.
R

Good for you. The right doctor makes all the difference. I've seen women who look relaxed but fully expressive and others who seem to have been over-treated. I suspect in the first case, the doctor is willing to suggest that less is more in the interests of preserving a reputation.

Leonde: Oh I read your post and the damn furnace. Still, it's a toss up :) Thank you and I do need to get more red...I only have that one shirt and it's getting faded!

designanator: Yes, the botox has become every plastic surgeon's bread and butter during these tough financial times.

JK Brady: I went through that fake nail phase back in my old life (the old corporate entertainment life). I was held hostage by those horrible things, so I understand the hair addiction. I took up rock climbing and no way can you have those horrible nails doing that. Fortunately it was a very short phase. My Botox doc is used to women from Boulder where we irrationally insist on it looking natural. He errs on the side of conservative and that' a good thing. Thanks for the comment.

Prof: Thanks guy and Merry merry!

Lea: Are you still on that boat? So glad they have Internet! Thanks for your supportive and understanding comment. And glad someone else noticed Gloria!

Gwendolyn: Doctors scare me too. In fact, I stay away from western medicine docs as much as possible. Keep to the naturopaths and acupuncturists. As for me, I had a bout with vanity and vanity won.

patrick: Did you know that Botox injections are used to treat depression? http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/20/AR2006052000979.html; so if you're finding you're happier since those painful foot injections, know you know why!

Sandra: Yes! That's it. Thank you for saying it so much better than me. It just smooths things out; that's what it does. Loved the last line of your comment. You are one wise woman.

Denise: I think people would be surprised if they knew how many people they knew that have had Botox. Thanks for your comment.

Dr. Spudman: Hi! Good to see you. Yes ban the mirrors....and yes, it's so liberating when we stop worrying about what other people think. It really is. Thanks for picking up on that.

BBE: I love you.

Stim: Hey, that doctor is no dummy!

Procopius/Steve: Good eye for picking up on that in the post...now see if you have any luck with them looking for the secret money stash!

The Dewy Red: No, it doesn't hurt a lot. Like tiny little bee stings at most. Major pain would be way too strong a word. However, I should say that I had 4 children with natural childbirth and didn't use pain stuff. I hate pain stuff. I think I have a strong pain threshold.

john: Nice try but Botox is for around the eyes, not the mouth!

Donna: Yes, the doctor is key...but I think they have like botox parties where amateurs do this and that would make me very uncomfortable!

Oops, I mixed up Donna with Nikki. So Nikki, that comment to Donna was meant for you (maybe this botox has gotten into my brain cells!).

Donna: Oh that sounds like a big ouch..falling into those bushes; I would think the botox injections are a bit more gentle than that!

Great post and I love your attitude!!! Wishing you a peaceful and youthful holiday season. :-)

You saved me a lot of money because after reading this, I'm afraid to ever get Botox so thanks! (i have a fear of numbness--it's not even the needles). You should be able to do whatever feels right for you and not feel guilty. I don't think a shot of Botox gives anyone that startled look of eyelifts so you can still look pretty natural with it. You should post before and after pictures!
Great post, Mary. R

I personally think medical breakthroughs like botox and HGH are unfairly maligned. Take HGH for instance. Sylvester Stallone looks better today at 63 than he did at age 30 in the original Rocky:

http://www.filmwad.com/fw_images/2009/01/26/sylvester-stallone-in-shape-the-expendables.jpg


p.s. You'll have to update your picture so we can see the results.

Your photo makes my face hurt. Well, not "your" photo but the photo on your blog.

I started developing three vertical lines between my eyebrows when I was in my 20s. They're no better a couple of decades later. This is why I have bangs. . . .

for some reason, this was an especially visual story, Mary. Particularly the part about the doctor looking like the statue of David. having seen that statue up close and personal, I have to ask, was it his hands?
fun read! thank you.

Mare, you're just beautiful, inside and outside, no matter what you choose to do or not do! And if it suits you and you have such great results?!?!? Why in the world not?!? "You look marvelous!

When I did Botox, I was not unhappy with it, however, I realized I really could live without it and the expense, which for me was just too over the top for vanity's sake. That may change in the future, but for now, I am Botox free.

lines are nature's recognition of life lived. You've lived life; your beauty is natural. ~R~

"One advantage of being in the half a century fun group is": This could be a post in itself.
Great post.

Thank you for sharing this experience.
Rated.

Most people who are critical of cosmetic surgery imagine that celebrities who overdo it (ie, Michael Jackson, Jocelyn Wildenstein) represent the average consumer. What they don't see are the thousands upon thousands of consumers who indulge just enough to improve their appearance - undetectably.

Just be careful not to reveal too much and sacrifice your own glamour! Mystery is one of the most important keys to beauty!

Good for you, Mare. I'm with you and Lea and Gloria who knows better than most that feminism is about inner strength and outer unity. A hairstyle, lip gloss, Botox, fake boobs or FM pumps have nothing to do with equality, ability, brains and entitlement.

(Why is this post giving me deja vu? Must be the migraine).

You are a true feminist, Mary! You do what you want with your body, and your beauty...brava! And Gloria does look superbabelicious! As do you...xox

If you really think you looking angry then I can a professional reason for having botox. I don't always expect therapists to be friendly but really would not want to think for whatever reason that one might be mad at me ;0)

I'm thrilled you "came out of the closet" with this. I feel the same way you do, but we already drained our daughters' college funds and my "secret stash" wouldn't come near what it would take to get Botox. Plus I live hours away from Botox. I love this entire article -- filled once again with an EP's worth of wit, humor, vulnerability, self-deprecation and admiration mixed in together, seemingly going against your feminist principles and saying WTF anyway. And what a smashing end with your comment that Gloria Steinem looks "suspiciously good." Great great job!!! Highly Rated!

I was just reminded by someone that I have been asked if I've had lip enhancement. More than once. No, I haven't, and in fact I was easily 22 years old before I got okay with my lips. That was feminism working in another way....those attitudes helped me to accept my own beauty. This is just a super post! xox

Not me! I am all natural, 'cept when I need my little blue pill.

Yeah, Botox works cosmetically, but studies show that there is residual Botox in the brains of women who dabble in it. I used to do it, but I've stopped because of that. We don't know what a poison can do to the brain, even in residual amounts. I'd rather not risk it. But it's tough. I look a whole lot better with Botox.

BTW, you don't have to look beaten up afterward. You're not going to a skillful person if that's the case. Years ago I went to a supposedly well-respected pioneer of the treatment. It hurt like hell and I had yellow bruises afterward for days. Makeup had to cover it.

But my last guy was a genius. Still, I won't do it anymore. Mental health is way more important than vanity.

Please see this link:
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/botox-the-brain-pain-805253.html

There's an old-fashioned trick that works on those frown &/or forehead lines nearly as well as Botox: called Frownies. They're diamond-shaped pieces of something like old-fashioned packing tape, the paper kind with adhesive on the back. You dampen it, stick one on the area of the lines and leave it overnight. Dampen and remove in the morning. Couple weeks and your lines are gone, or darn close to it. Then forget it for a few months, and then do it for a week or two again.

You can get them in the cosmetic section at Whole Foods.

I personally hoover up frugal, simple, DIY skin care tips....hint, hint...

nice piece Mary! and congrats for getting it above the fold at RegularSalon...that is way cool.

however, I think I'm going to age disgracefully being scared of needles and all...xo

You go, girl!! I just picked up a brochure in my plastic surgeon's office today about Botox injections. The process seems minimally invasive and works! I intend to send this to a friend as I will not be able to afford it until next year after I get some benefit from my grad degree.
Honestly, for the older buch of us in our cohort, "updating" is proceeding prior to seeking employment post-grad school.
The economic fact that folks are not retiring but working til they drop has not caught up with cultural norms.
Good on you!

Mary, you are definitely brave! just the picture on your post makes me want to run away in panick; I definitely hate needles, but I totally enjoyed your writing, this post is fun!.
kisses,
Marcela

Mary!

I could have used that Botox at age 12! Seriously, already had that damn line...

Nowadays I can't imagine it just for the reasons you described in terms of the experience, but I am not ruling it out either! Thank you for giving me such an insightful "peek", it will help me prepare if I ever have $ again, right after I get a real "salon" hair cut.

In closing, in the spirit of Gloria Steinam who is definitely partaking, all I can say is, "you go girl!"

Great post. I did it years ago, stopped and then started again ecently. I dabbled in "filler", as well. I am not afraid to tell people if they ask. Here's what I found:

I can't afford to fix every little thing, and I don't want to. (My cash stash is GONE.)
That said, i was pretty pleased when people stopped asking me why I was so tired, angry, sick... (but trust me, I can look angry really fast, no frozen face here)
I prefer people not to assume I am my son's grandmother.
The choice of doctor is everything (whether he looks like David or not, with or without pants). After various tries, I found a doctor who makes it relatively pain free, doesn't ever over do it, and seems to have an "eye" for keeping me looking like me, just with more rest.
Most of all, I still look like me, and I am happy about that.

If it makes you happy, rock on! :)

Rated.

Oh hey, I totally agree with you on the "cash stash" thing. Odd thing is that I hide money EVERYWHERE in the house, lol

Hey Mare - Congrats on getting to the cover of Big Salon!!!!!!You're going to be doing celebrity endorsements soon. Don't forget us little people:-)

We all should be able to do as we like without judgment. Of course, there appears to be a line that gets crossed over with many people. I've thought about it for my smile lines--not because I don't think I have earned them but more because sometimes they seem so damned prominent! Good for you, Mary!

I just want a cage fight between you and O'Really?

I've never seen anyone else make it to "big Salon." Congratulations. I thought that one of the ideas behind OS was to generate good copy for the main site. With so much great stuff coming out of OS for so long, I am really surprised that your (worthy) piece is the first I've seen make it. Could it be that the editors are finally getting a clue?

(If they are they certainly aren't going to admit to it...)

Since this made the front page of Salon.com, I thought I would post my comment from there:

Negative Comments Posted Here Contain Little but Banal Judgments

I am pretty sure that the folks who think they know what Mary Kelly's priorities should be have no idea what her priorities actually are. She was making a little fun of her self. Get a sense of humor you pack of asshats.

Dictating what others ought to do with their own bodies, money and lives is not something that Mary would do to you.

Self-righteousness makes you ugly.

I believe you should do whatever makes you feel good about yourself. :-)

I loved this, Mary. And it looks mighty nice on Big Salon, too! XOXO

Interesting and well developed essay. Good writing and an interesting perspective on a topic I know nothing about. Congrats on making the cover of big Salon. Well done!

Congratulations on the Salon cover, Mary. I am appalled at all the amateur psycho-analysis the salon letter-writers feel free to dish out on you. Truly, lots of hate and vitriol in the letters. Makes me hope I never make the cover of Salon.

Funny---I'm writing about aging too---(wonder why December would find me doing that???) of course, I'll never finish my essay and probably will never post it---but that doesn't mean we are not on the same wave length, girlfriend.

Mary, you look as good as you write---and 50 is the new 30, except smarter. Children's college fund, indeed---working their way through school will help them build character.

I'm waiting for the docs-that-be to find a way to get botox to lift cheeks---and I don't mean the ones on my face.

grif: Thanks for reading and I wish you the same! Merry merry.

Karin: If I have time this weekend, I will see if I can find some before pictures. There must be some somewhere. Hey, fuhget about the numbing cream anyway. It's actually fairly useless.

Travis: I was thinking of you the other day. Good to see you and I'll check on that link. BTW, my avatar is the After picture thank you very much :)

ocularnervosa: The picture is a bit of an exaggeration, but not the sentiments it portrays!

susanmihalic: Bangs work too! And have you noticed...bangs are "in" again...

Tim4change: My doc, who is an amazing plastic surgeon and also a sculptor, a man who goes to study in Rome every year, well I should have said his FACE reminded me of the statue of David. Just to make that perfectly clear. Thanks for reading!

JC: It's all a personal choice isn't it. And choice is part of what it's all about.

Chuck: Thank you and bless you!

trilogy: True true and you just gave me an idea.

Thoth: Thank you!

Monsieur: You are so right, as always. And true true. Mystery is a very good thing indeed and this Botox confession will be the last one for a long time to come indeed! Thank you for reading and commenting...this is always a special treat.

Sally: Your memory is razor sharp tack...I did a skeleton of a post about this back in the day...I think I got 8 comments, one from you and the wonderful Monsieur. I'd pulled it months ago...and revamped the entire thing. So give yourself some extra points today for some great brain cells!

Robin: Thank you wonderful friend! If people truly understood the path I've been taking for a long time, this little trip to the Botox doc was about liberation, not repression and certainly not submission. I appreciate that you get that.

Dorinda: Excellent point! I wouldn't want to scare any of my clients away (although that happens from time to time, angry line or not!).

Joan: Thank you for reading, commenting and "getting it". I truly appreciate that.

Robin: I have a daughter who has lips that many a woman would rush for injections for. As for me, and this is only me, I'm way too squeamish to do the lip thing nor do I have the desire. But again, to each their own.

The Barking Lot 4: Bangs work too! I'm considering them myself. I still have plenty of lines hanging around and I did have 4 kids so we won't even go There. It can be a fine line (no pun intended) accepting what is and what we still have at our disposal to be in some kind of age denial. Riding my bike up the very nearby steep hills is another way I deny my age. I hope I'm huffing and puffing up those things well into my 80's and beyond. I have the feeling I won't be quite so criticized for that.

jimmy: We all have our little splurges, don't we? Thanks for reading.

Joy: Remember that much of my post was tongue and cheek. Botox produces minimal bruising at the most. Although I did have a friend who ended up with a droopy eye..it was temporary. There's all kinds of conflicting research on this...much dismissive of any suggestion of long term therapy. But then again, cigarettes were safe for us at one time. I have much more concern about what my cell phone is doing to my brain versus the occasional Botox injection. Thanks for reading!

Petuunia: Love the health tip and will speed over to Whole Foods later today! I'm all for saving money and doing things a little more naturally when possible. Thank you!

bbd: It is estimated that over 300,000 men get Botox treatments annually, fyi. Thanks for the supportive comment and noticing the big Salon. The commenters over there aren't quite as gracious as my fellow OSers!

o'stephanie: Thank you! The economics is a HUGE factor and obviously for me, this is something I could let go of if and when I have to. Hoping those strips at Whole Foods work :)

Marcela: Honestly, given the response at big Salon, I think I was braver for writing this post about Botox verus getting the Botox. Those needles are a piece of cake compared to some of the vitriolic comments on the Salon site. And I have to be honest when I say, the comments there are giving me plenty of entertainment and smiles on a beautiful Saturday morning. Thanks for reading!

Kate: Thanks for your comment! And so good to see you back...I think given that 4 million women get Botox injections annually, I'm probably in some pretty damn good company.

yakkygirl: Nice to meet a fellow confessioner. 99.9% of people, including my husband, do not notice when I've had this done. I think many have a knee jerk reaction because of the celebrities go have gone way overboard. I wouldn't want to wish fame on anyone, so when I see the outcomes of Nicole Kidman or Meg Ryan, I just feel sad and compassionate. I have never walked their shoes nor do I want to. Thanks for your wonderful comment.

LadyMiko: I'm starting to hide things all over the house too! It's scaring me cuz of course I forget what I hid and where I hid it!

grif: Thank you! The Big Salon experience is a whole another ball game. And I'm grateful they put the piece up there. It's really showing me that I'm quite ok with those who disagree with me. It's taking me a long time to get to that place and it feels really wonderful.

mypsyche: thank you for your understanding. Much appreciated.

Nick: I bet you do!

Dan: Thank you so much for the congratulations! I'm assuming that surely this is not the first time an OSer has been on Salon. I feel like I've seen many make it over there, so I'm not in a position to adequately answer your question. But I appreciate your comment.

Susanne: You rock!!! Thank you so much for your comment here and over on Salon. Much appreciated given your sentiments have been in the minority. What a surprise. I fear for so many's apparent lack of a good sense of humor. But when someone goes to bat for you, well, it just warms the heart. Thanks for warming mine!

Miss Adams: Amen to that.

Lisa: Thank you much!!

MJwycha: Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading this and your support.

voicegal: I was told by the wonderful author Anthony Flacco years ago when he helped my girlfriend and I edit a book that was published in France, "expose yourself. Get naked. Be uncomfortable. Get outside the box." It was true and great advice, so I started toughening up my skin awhile ago. Good thing. Those Salon commenters, not all of them but many, go for the jugular. Mine is well protected by me. Thank you for reading!

m.a.h.: Miss you and happy to see your comment. And you made me laugh as always. PLEASE finish that aging piece. You know how much I love, and so many others, your writing so get back to work please. The world awaits...Thanks so much for your good words!

Okay, you win the award for best post finale. Younger, bruised, and swollen OR older, wrinkled and victimless: ah, life's marvelous choices! Did they really serve strawberries, chocolate, cheese, crackers, and wine? See, that's why my clinic is a piece of crap. We can't even register patients properly. I'm going start putting out crackers and Cheez Whiz. Maybe we'll improve our clientele.

Just read through a second batch of the comments on Salon.com. Had to take a break to get a Pepcid Complete. The spiteful ruminations from some of those horrid little reptiles really made my stomach hurt! Definitely more painful than botox (or giving birth) could ever be.

Steve: Welcome back! Hope you had a great time in the Caribbean. Besides the chocolate and sweets, don't forget the wine! Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Ann: First, thank you for such a great comment on the big Salon. I was going to write you personally but now that you're here, thank you! I must admit that I'm feeling a little grimy after spending a day amongst some of the commenters, commenters who like to think I've made it to the big leagues and I better be able to stand the heat in the kitchen. I don't care how big a site is, whatever. Civil is civil and rude is rude; it doesn't matter how you slice it. Thanks again.

I read some (very small) study that said that people who get Botox suffered less anxiety symptoms. The scientist theorized that since the study subjects couldn't easily frown, they worried less. Function following form? Could it be true? No matter; I now could say the Botox was about more than just appearances! (It was a high-stress year; I needed all the help I could get.)

mary this was on the cover of salon, and looked like a regular salon article! very impressive.

ok, you already know that. sorry. let me finish reading now.

Wow. I need brain botox after reading all the nasty comments over at Big Salon. That place makes OS feel like a strawberry and cheesecake party every day. Congrats Mary. And you are a fine feminist, with or without the angry line.

Should I admit to the line filler thing? you know, the OTHER Botox. Combined, they took years off my attitude toward life. I thought I looked great! Ergo, I acted like it! Although the party in a wine box at the plastic's office on a Thursday night WAS a little weird, the liquid lubrication took a good deal of the sting right out of it. I did have to drive home though, so that were they thinking? (making way for new patients?) Numb faced, with cute little ice pack in hand, I made my way to the car but was certainly running more on adrenalin than alcohol. I look great, I look great. What's that bruise there? It took 10 days to go away, but really, for a grand, I looked great, after 10 days. Six months later I passed on the reminder card for my touch up. I felt great.

Hi Annette, good to see you again! Well, there are studies that show that Botox helps with anxiety as well as depression. Some for the reasons you describe. I can't use that excuse I must admit. But I'll be sure to educate those who don't know about this! Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

jane: Thank so much for noticing the big Salon. It was a great experience and honor.

Juliet: Thank you for your kindness and your good words of support. I will admit, as I have in some of these comments, to be quite stunned by the vitriolic responses. It made for an interesting weekend and finding out how thick (and thin) my skin truly is.

Here is a partial comment I wrote on Salon that describes the new dirty secret men and women share about having Botox:

"Emily Listfield, More.com, on the subject of Botox says this: "It is curious that at a time when people spill every unsavory detail about their sex lives on television and when fessing up to a stint in rehab is becoming de rigueur, so many women remain deeply embarrassed and secretive when it comes to talking about relatively harmless beauty treatments. And yet, despite the rapidly increasing popularity of new procedures, this conspiracy of silence shows every sign of enduring. 'There's a tremendous taboo against appearing too vain,' says LeslieBeth Wish, EdD, a psychologist based in Florida. 'Combine that with the emphasis our society places on self-acceptance, and women don't want to own up.' Instead, she says, we often feel 'shame and fear of being taken for a lightweight.' In a culture that puts a great premium on youthful beauty, we are somehow not supposed to care too much about it."

After reading many of the comments on this post, these women may be wiser than me when it comes to coming out of the cosmetic closet to put up a hand and say, "Yeah, I'll admit it. I do it and I like it dammit."

So, let's look at some numbers here: In 2007 alone, 4.3 million women got Botox, and more than a million others tried a different injectable or a chemical peel (More Magazine, 2007).

Botox is now being used by men, some of whom did not even run for President. The number of men in the U.S. who paid to get a series of tiny injections in their face nearly tripled from 2001 to 2007--to 300,000, or about 7% of the total Botoxed population. And despite the recession, those numbers aren't going down yet; one of the many things the laid-off cannot afford is to look their age (Time Magazine, 2009)."

Based on the many strong responses on Salon, I understand now why so many people are reluctant to admit this! Again, Juliet, thank you so much for your comment.

Gabby: Ah yes, the much sought after Juvederm that helps get rid of those saggy face lines and create the bruises from hell. I know for myself that at some point, enough will be enough and like you will ignore any reminder cards. I appreciated your description of running to the car with the little ice bags. This is the point where I start saying to myself, "What the hell am I thinking???"

I have the line too, but bangs cover a miriad of problems...now if they would just cover my neck...

Whatever helps us get through the life changes is fine by me...expecially when not overdone. We may change our wrinkles on our face, but there are the telltale hands etc.

Great piece Mary!

Mwoohhahaahaaaaa!
You mean there is hope for that second butt-crack that is forming between my eyebrows!? I'm on it!

The frown lines. At forty, I have one and a half of those. There are days that if money were no object...but I'm a scaredy cat.

whatever that makes you happy honey..

thanks to share your views and experience, no doubt botox is inexpensive but it is not right as some people say after botox you can not smile. I think professional expertise of the dermatologist much more involve in the success of the operation. Any nice post.

flight to lagos

Botox is not so as some people placing negative comment for it, I thing with passage of time this mode of treatment would improved.