80s Rock Picture

 David, Jaspar, Their Bird, and Gwendolyn

 Twenty-nine years old, Gwendolyn Glover contributed this terrific interview. In her profile, she writes: "I'm a recovering fundamentalist Christian from the heart of Ohio. After graduating in 2003 with a major in Literary Writing from Oral Roberts University, I followed my heart to San Francisco." Gwendolyn blogs at Little Miss Writer

Do you mind telling me some basic things about yourself--age, sex, where you live, where you grew up, any siblings, any children, where you attended school. ? Feel free to say as little or as much as you like.

 I’m a twenty-nine year old female and I currently live in Chicago. I grew up in small-town Ohio and then Virginia with my two younger brothers, to whom I am very close. I received my BA in Literary Writing from Oral Roberts University. I met my husband in San Francisco six years ago and we’ve been married for over three of those years.

 How do you think men and women are different? How much is biology, how much is socialization?

I think men and women are different, but I balk from making generalizations about sexes. Men are different from other men and women are different from other women. Biology determines much, but so does socialization. Biology may determine if a woman is curvier than the “norm” or if a man has softer features than the “norm.” Sociology, personality, and environment determines if a woman does not want to have biological children or if a man wants to be a stay-at-home father. I truly believe that the social norms taught to us by society, media, and entertainment are not necessarily the norms for the sexes.

I have also recently wondered if the division and compartmentalization of two sexes is not correct. Perhaps there should be a broader understanding of sexes.

 What were your parents like? How much equality existed in their marriage?

 There was little to no equality in my parents’ marriage, which led to their divorce just after I finished high school. My dad has the antiquated notion that although husbands and wives discussed matters, the husband had final say and is the ultimate head of the household. My dad truly believes that women were weaker and need protection and guidance from men. My mom tried to obey these rules because she thought they were dictated by the Bible, but eventually she couldn’t live in such an oppressive household any longer.

Their divorce was tragic because for most of my growing up, my parents would good friends. If my dad had encouraged my mom to have her own identity as a equal and if they both worked harder on having healthy communication, they probably would not have divorced.

 At what stage was the women's movement when you were a child and teen?  Were members of your family involved? Was it talked about at home and in school?

 I was unaware of the women’s movement as a child and a teen. Although members of my extended family, such as my grandmother, were aware of the women’s movement, everyone obeyed my father’s wishes when it came to influencing me and my brothers. I grew up having little to no strong female role models. My mom admired strong, action heroes such as Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, and Bruce Willis.

 I lived in a sort of Christian bubble. I went to a Christian school until 5^th grade and then was homeschooled until 10^th grade. From 10^th to 12^th grade, I attended a public school. I was not taught about the feminist movement in any of these environments.

 I was introduced to the ideals of the women’s movement by the TV show, The New Adventures of Lois and Clark when I was thirteen/fourteen years old. Lois Lane was a strong, intelligent, independent woman, but her relationship with Clark Kent/Superman never took away from his strength, intelligence, and courage.

 When did you first notice sexism, whether directed at you or anyone else? Do you ever find yourself being a sexist? Has anyone else accused you of sexism?

 I first noticed sexism in the home when I was eleven/twelve years old. My father had treated me as an intelligent and capable person until I hit puberty. In fact, he treated me as if I were more dependable than my younger brothers. Then everything changed. All of a sudden, I wasn’t able to argue intelligently because “women make decisions based on unstable emotions instead of facts.” I was determined to prove my father wrong and so I set out to have the highest GPA and to be unemotional, responsible, and hard working. I refused to acknowledge my emotions in front of family or in public. I did not want to be the weaker sex.

 I feel that I am a bit sexist towards men in general. Although no one has every accuse me of sexism and I am definitely not a “man-hater.” I have always been more comfortable around guys than girls. But I do get more angry when I hear of a violent crime committed by man against a woman compared to a violent crime committed by a woman against a man.

 Do you think boys are as constrained by sexual stereotypes as girls? 

 I do think boys are as constrained by sexual stereotypes as girls. Boys are taught that being sensitive and/or emotional is “girly” and therefore negative. Boys are taught that they must be strong. They must fight well and win. They must be good at sports. They must not ever cry. I have seen many relationship and even marriages affected negatively because the man doesn’t know how to communicate his emotions in a healthy and positive manner. He’s too manly to talk to his partner about his feelings.

 Do you identify yourself as a feminist?

 I definitely identify as a feminist. I believe that being a feminist means being concerned about the equality of men and women, working to give voice to women’s issues, and encouraging open and honest discourse between sexes. I do not believe that being a feminist means belittling men or treating men badly. I do not believe that it means creating negative stereotypes of men or promoting women above men. I believe that men and women are valid and equal members of the human race.

 I believe that in order to realize unity and equality in society, we must celebrate and promote all sexes. I also believe that we ought to cherish the feminine and masculine in each one of us. These attributes are gifts and we shouldn’t deny them.

 What about the condition of women around the world?

 I believe the condition of women in many places around the world is deplorable. I am very concerned about women particularly in Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. I am concerned for their health, their physical and mental well-being, and for their safety. I feel that education for girls is key to empowering women so they will be equal members of society.

 If you have a partner or spouse, are they concerned with equality issues? How does that effect your day-to-day lives? Do you share housework and child care (if you  have kids,)?

 My husband has been a feminist for longer than I have. In his growing up, he wasn’t aware of the idea that women are weaker and/or subservient to men. We have a very equal relationship. We share the housework, chores, and grocery shopping. My husband does more of the cooking than I do. (He’s an amazing cook.) We make decisions together after much discussion.

 My husband does tease me that I’m a feminist with benefits. I ask him to fix things around the house and work on the car because that’s “a man’s job.” I’m kidding, of course, that it’s a man’s job. If I didn’t have my husband or if he didn’t enjoy doing these things, then I would do them myself or pay someone else to do them. But he enjoys fixing stuff and I enjoy telling him what to do. (Kidding, again, of course.) On the other hand, my husband thinks that organizing and planning our social life is my job. So in a way, we have our moments when we work in traditional roles.

 What books shaped your ideas on sexism, women's liberation, men's rights?  What books do you love to read? Which novelist is your favorite?

 I know this will sound silly, but I read a lot of comic books as a teenager. (Yes, there are girls that read comic books and, yes, we are nerds.) Looking back, I think that the heroines in these comics gave me an extra push towards believing in women’s liberation. I enjoyed reading about female characters that were just as strong and smart as the male characters.

 In college, I admired a lot of male writers, but I especially treasured female African American writers such as Alice Walker, Gwendolyn Brooks, and Toni Morrison. I identified with their strength, their commitment to their family and community, and their independence.

 Then I discovered Southern women writers like Carson McCullers and Flannery O’Connor. I don’t know if they would call themselves feminist writers, but I really felt like I understood them. This was important to me because I had never understood the image of womanhood that had been projected all my life.

 When I discovered feminist writers like Sylvia Plath and lesbian writers like Dorothy Allison and Sarah Waters, I was in heaven. These women, along with Charlotte Perkins Gilman, truly shaped my view of feminism. They gave voice to my buried emotion and made me feel like I had a voice.

 The one book that I have read over and over again because I truly identify with the righteous anger towards sexism is The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston. I recommend this book to absolutely everyone.

 Male writers have also helped to shape my feminist worldview. A few books that are especially important to me are: God Bless You Mr. Rosewater by Kurt Vonnegut, the poetry of Rainer Marie Rilke and Allen Ginsberg and e.e.cummings, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, and Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis. I reread these stories and poems because I find myself there between the pages.