Gailrae blogs at Let Me Write This Down. This interview by Gailrae is in two parts; the second part, Gailrae on Caregiving,  is specifically about her experience taking care of her mother 24/7. Gailrae brillantly analyzes  the neglected but essential political and social questions it raises.This post should be required reading for all of us.

Tell me something about you--age, sex, where you live, where you grew up, any siblings,  any children?

Year of birth:  1951
Age:  57
Gender:  Female
Currently Live:  Prescott, AZ
Where I Grew Up:  From 1951 - 1959:  MD; RI; Southern CA; HI; Northern CA; Black Hills, SD
 From 1960 - 1973:  Guam
Siblings:  3 sisters; one older, two younger
Children:  None

What jobs have you had?  Please include all caregiving.

Newspaper delivery person (Guam)
Elementary School Teacher (while I was still in elementary school; I know, weird but true) (Guam)
Journalist for the Pacific Journal (Guam)
Journalist for Glimpses of Guam tourist magazine (Guam)
Journalist, editor, layout/paste-up, ad seller for a MARC, a community paper (Guam)
Ad writer for KUAM radio (Guam)
Answering Service Operator (Arizona)
Answering Service Owner/Partner (Arizona)
Asst. Advertising Director (California)
Advertising Director (California)
Insurance Claims Adjuster (California)
Office Manager, Newspaper Circulation Department (Arizona)
Journalist, editor, layout/paste-up, typesetter, for Womyn's Weekly feminist paper (Arizona)
Temporary Contract Worker: Software Specialist, Administrative Assistant, Software Manual Writer (Arizona, Washington)
Freelance Brochure Business (Washington, Arizona)
Office Manager for western district office of This End Up Furniture (Arizona)
1995 Interim Federal Census Data Analyzer (Arizona)
Companion/Caregiver for Mother (Arizona)
Currently Unemployed

What was happening with women when you were a girl and teen?

When I was a girl, hmmm...good question.  I was fairly solitary, followed my own interests, although I had an eclectic group of friends.  In grade school, as I recall, girls were mostly focused on girl-girl friendships, until the fourth grade, when girls became interested in boys but had few friends that were boys and fewer boyfriends.

In high school there was a strong emphasis on sexual interests.  Very little interest in feminism.  Myself and one other friend of mine were the only two I can recall who expressed interest in feminism.  We traded books back and forth and had heated discussions.  Lots of people were focused on studies, as getting a college scholarship was a way for many to get off the island.  The war was a hot concern on Guam, being the base for the B-52s and also a great place to avoid the draft, since Guam had so many local volunteers (yet another way to get off the island) that its quota was usually filled by volunteers. 

1960s counter culture played a huge role on Guam among teens; more so (and was more accepted) than in The States.  We were locals, not connected with the military, and within the local community women were considered the stronger gender, more likely to be serious, community oriented and political leaders; men were considered silly and unreliable, although it was also considered safe to elect them governor, since no one considered that the governor did anything of importance.  The most important political position on Guam was Superintendent of Education...and was almost always a woman.

What did  you first notice sexism, whether directed at you or anyone else. Men can experience sexism just as much as woman.

I first noticed sexism at a very early age...can't even remember when, both within and without my family, I'm sure.  Although I can't tell you an exact instance, I know it was my perception of sexism that made me decide, before I was aware of how things worked, that I was going to become a boy and grow up to be a man.  I distinctly remember thinking that, even though my mother always worked outside the home as a Special Ed teacher, I did not want to get married or be a wife or be a mother and figured that the only way to not accomplish these goals was to be a boy and grow into a man.  I actually thought, until I got my first period, that one had a choice, and I had made mine.  Interestingly, I figured this out even though my father was not a "sexist pig" and in our household there was no pressure put on us (all girls) to get married, have children, etc.  One way or another, though, we all seemed to feel a variety of pressures from without to conform to certain roles.

If you identify yourself a feminist, when did you accept that?

When I began reading feminist literature in high school.  Before then, I wasn't familiar with the word.  Once I heard and understood the word, I not only identified myself as a natural feminist, I identified everyone in my family as natural feminists, including my father.

What does feminism mean to you?
To me, feminism is the assumption that a person is born with the desire to develop and live in whatever way seems natural to that person, regardless of gender identification, and should be allowed to do so within society.

Would your mother consider herself a feminist? Have you ever discussed the question with her?

She did, although she abjured labels and would not have called herself a feminist...nor would she have called herself anything else.  Throughout the entire time I knew her, up to her death, we had many discussions about feminism, roles of women, roles of men, the influence of community and society on the way we worked out our roles (both individually and in the aggregate), etc.  

Did you ever take a woman studies course in high school or college?

No.  They were not available when I was going to college.  When they became available, I was not going to college.  However, I have not missed taking them, as I think my psychic connection to the movement and my interest in it provided a pretty fair education in women's studies.  One of my cousins has a PhD in women's studies, is a college professor in that field and an author; she's a great resource, as well.

What books shaped your ideas on women?
Long before I became aware of feminist literature, the books that shaped me and thus had a lot to do with my development as a women were primarily adventure books like Two Years Before the Mast, Kon-Tiki, stuff like that.  When I read them I took little conscious note that they were about men, thus, I imagined myself in similar adventures.  I do think I sub-consciously recognized that they were about men.  See answer to when I first noticed feminism. Between grade school and the time I started consciously reading feminist literature, a lot of what I read was stuff on psychology, mythology and religion, lots of poets and volumes of short stories.  Not sure what these books had to do with my ideas about women.

When I began reading feminist literature I read everything that was current and some that wasn't.  The first book I read was: The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan; then continued seeking out stuff written further back, you know, from the nineteenth through the early to mid twentieth centuries including some of the now lesser knowns like Charlotte Perkins Gilman, one of my favorites; then even further back.  Through college and the 1970s I read Mary Daly's Gyn/Ecology, Germaine Greer's The Female Eunuch, Simone de Beauvior's The Second Sex, Dorothy Dinnerstein's The Mermaid and the Minotaur, Kate Millet's Sexual Politics.  As time went on I caught all the major feminist novels, too, like Marge Piercy's Small Changes; Lois Gould's A Sea Change; Margaret Atwood's Surfacing; Marilyn French's The Women's Room.

One way or another, I think I got around to everyone but, frankly, my non-fiction favorites were Daly's Gyn/Ecology (loved her word play...it was right up my alley, and the extent of her radicalism) and Dinnerstein's The Mermaid and the Minotaur (loved her insistence on everyone's complicity in gender politics), both from the 1970s.  Once I got started, I got quite a few of my reading suggestions from Ms. Magazine.  Later, in the 1980's, I remember reading Powers of the Weak by Elizabeth Janeway; In the 1990's:  Toward a Recognition of Androgyny by Carol Heilbrun; Backlash by Susan Faludi.  God, there are so many names, both for fiction and non-fiction.  I tried to list the ones that got me started as well as the ones that, for one reason or another, stayed in my memory.

Who is your favorite woman novelist?  Do you think she is a feminist (I fervently believe Jane Austen was.)

There are four whose work I perpetually seek out.  It would be hard for me to denote one as a favorite (in alphabetical order):
Gail Godwin - yes, she's a feminist
Doris Lessing - yes, she's a feminist
Marge Piercy - yes, she's a feminist
Susan Richards Shreve - yes, she's a feminist