Record storms, tornados, and flooding have been hitting the Southeast lately; leaving many asking: “What the shit dick is going on around here?” While scientists are probably busy echoing things about melt off, climate change, and possibly El Nino (I haven’t checked), those of us with a pseudo managerial understanding of Nature need an answer that allows us to blame somebody else and to do so within 140 characters… preferably within 110 characters to leave room for retweets and hashtags. It would be extra awesome if whatever one-word moniker is chosen to be representative of this highly complex scientific theory, that most won’t bother reading into and even fewer will comprehend, has the letter “O” in it. That way someone can Photoshop POTUS’ campaign logo into it, add either a positive or negative statement underneath, and put it on a bumper sticker; facilitating our need to let other people know where we stand on fiscal policy while discussing the weather.