Life's not fair


Matt Paust

Matt Paust
Gloucester, Virginia,
December 31
Sorry - writer's block... BTW the "birthday" listed above is false. I prefer to keep that day private, but am not permitted to do so here, so I'm forced to lie.


APRIL 1, 2012 8:54AM


Rate: 25 Flag

Stuck in the Yukon with nothing but a cargo of duct tape.  Your plane's been ravaged by a hungry bear that smelled fish bait on board. Oh, what to do?1




I mean, just look at it!  Miles and miles from nowhere!  Help!2




We bush pilots don't panic.  Don't dare panic, but...




Sometimes we allow ourselves to feel a tad verklempt! 4




Fortunately we are bred to be resourceful. 5






click on photos for one of many news accounts of this unrehearsed commercial for duct tape .

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Ahoy! Hip Hip Hurray!

Buy Matt Paust and
Chicken Maaan one
seagull egg omelette
and some honey glazed
Canadian bacon asap!
I hate air plane accidents.
I hope I'm no whoremonger.
My Uncle Bernard died asap.
I did a Post and showed crash.
Life goes on. No panic. I agree.
If we fear flying we no fly off.
We needs wings to see Pete.
Pete ask a editor at Gate?
"Where to?"
We hop on seagull to heavin'
Maybe we RISE like eagles.
I hope we don't faint in air.

We soar and not crash.
We fly and no pee pants.
Glue planes with duck tape.
I can't decide whether to laugh or cry
Seeing the plane taped together

A big hammer and Duct Tape is in every Redneck Toolbox I know Matt, including mine...

Happy Sunday!!
Red Green and the boys over at Possum Lodge would be very proud of you.
duct tape now comes in bright colors. I have a designer roll that is multi-colored.
Duct Tape, WD 40 and super glue and you can rule the world. Oh, and a ruler.
Yikes. Took my bath, came back and found a hideous typo in the second sentence. All fixed now. No duct tape needed. BTW, I checked Snopes to see if this was a hoax. It's not.
I used to own duct tape in 12 colours.. Nothing duct tape can't handle.
of course the USPS Priority tape is actually better..:)
Now you tell me, Linda. If I'da only known!
Art, I musta missed about your Uncle Bernard. You post that before I joined Kerry's Merry Band? Bummer, that - Uncle Bernard's demise. Seagull egg omelettes sound rather good, especially with Canadian bacon, honey glazed or not.
An airplane takes
Adhesive like
A duct shares

This gave me paust....
Are you going to the Ohio duct tape festival?
You are punny this morning, Mary.

No, Phyllis, I'm gonna hafta pass this year, to my regret, I'm sure.
There's a prop service from Nantucket to Boston that I took one time, the inspiration for the TV series "Wings." They push the plane out of the hangar, the pilot opens the cockpit window and yells "You can get on now." Scariest 45 minutes of my life.
Seen these pics before... outstanding!
Took off in a small charter plane with a photographer for some aerial shots to go with a newspaper project. After we were airborne a terrible banging outside and to the rear of the plane forced us back to the airport. Turns out the pilot, who had repeatedly reminded us to buckle our seatbelts, had forgotten his, and it was dangling outside the plane. We took another plane for the assignment because the belt buckle had dented the fuselage. Pilot lost his job.
Things to pack: duct tape--check.
I wrote a post about using duct tape for shoes after the dog got a hold of them. Great pictures./r
Pretty cool!!! I will not buy some duck tape....just in case.
Love this, reminds me of one of my favorite author's, Richard Bach!
Amazing! Humans really are resourceful, and so so smart. Sometimes.
I suggest u go to Wikipedia, and find out the real heroism of this, uh, tape.
Yes, I learned, it CAN be called duck tape.
Also I learned how it saved our brave astronauts in Apollo 13 AND 17.
So maybe they were not talking out of their ass when they advised us to duct tape our houses during that horrifying scare about ten years ago..what was it? …the scare?...
I use duck tape to put my books back together. They fall apart.
I suppose bad guys know all about it. Those scenes in movies where the hero is wrapped in duct tape don’t seem so unrealistic and absurd as they used to…fine fine piece, matt.
Who invented the stuff? Why do they call it duck tape?
Imagine all the uses...could be a there a book ?

Enjoyed this.
Goodness! This is true??? Holy cow!!! Holy Bear!!! ... Bad bear!!!
I had to read the comments - I thought this might have actually happened to you and I was wondering why you are not famous right now! wowowow