Life's not fair

dammit

Matt Paust

Matt Paust
Location
Gloucester, Virginia,
Birthday
December 31
Bio
Sorry - writer's block... BTW the "birthday" listed above is false. I prefer to keep that day private, but am not permitted to do so here, so I'm forced to lie.

MY RECENT POSTS

MAY 26, 2012 11:34PM

Scanner is the real deal

 

[Note: This review is dedicated to Grammar Atheist Hyblaean-Julie]

Editor or storyteller?  Which would you rather be stranded with on the proverbial uninhabited island, assuming either would be too old and/or physically unattractive to distract from the choice?    Or, let's tryRead full post »

MAY 25, 2012 6:47AM

Dirndl Skirt, this is your life!!

dirndl
 
 

Well, actually no it's not.  Your life.  It's just umm...well, shameless huckster that I am, I needed a familiar hook with which to justify lifting, without permission, images and information from your own websites.  That was one, here's the other.  And your/Read full post »

MAY 24, 2012 6:32AM

Happy Birthday, Fernsy Button

Many years ago - 1922, in fact - Collier's Magazine published a curious short story by a young writer named F. Scott Fitzgerald.  The story was called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

It was about a baby that looked like a shriveled up little old man.

More recently - 2008,Read full post »

MAY 8, 2012 8:47AM

Let's get Rich...or somebody!

 

 

Having a brewsky with my friends Potroast and Zuckerberg.  This was way back at the beginning.   We were the three most disliked freshmen at Harvard.  Didn't even like each other, but, hey, we had to hang out with somebody, OK?

Zuckerberg and Potroast were arguing about..Read full post »

MAY 2, 2012 9:37AM

Why I love Slick Daisy Jane

 

 

Here's the post that started it all: who is the mysterious jane smithie, really?

As people still seem to believe the post linked to above is real, please read this one, where Janie explains that the other one is a complete hoax:  Will the REAL Jane Smithe please

Read full post »

 

The once exclusive Authors Guild has agreed to accept as members authors whose books are published by other than the traditional method.

Guild spokesman Terrence King confirmed Friday the organization's members voted at its annual meeting in March to open its membership to self-published authRead full post »

APRIL 26, 2012 8:01PM

I guess I'm not a suspect (update)

 

No hint of suspicion from anybody, and surely this morning would have been the time for them to pounce.  Whew.   I arrived at the school office early and learned all three gym instructors were out unexpectedly, so, after a last-minute scramble by the school secretary, two more subs wRead full post »

 

Got this email today: 

Our members voted at last month's annual meeting to open Guild membership to self-published authors. All of the rules aren't in place yet, but self-published authors who earn at least $500 in writing income in the 18 months prior to applying doRead full post »

APRIL 23, 2012 11:56AM

Best of Cuss

As I mentioned in an earlier post, because I'm one of the alleged blurbists Cranky Cuss included in the praise panel on the back cover of his new book Send in the Clown Car: The Race for the White House in 2012, I am ethically forbidden in theory from publishing a/Read full post »

APRIL 17, 2012 8:03AM

For snarky women only

Just finished reading Icyhighs's latest post this morning - A Vagina Monologue - and will spend the rest of the day - week, if necessary - awaiting anxiously the deluge of female responses sure to follow.  My occasional pal Chicken Maaan even left a comment anticipating such an admirable contest/Read full post »

APRIL 11, 2012 6:17PM

Wrong trail taken

The fork looked familiar and the distance seemed about right. I'd been there many times in the six years we'd lived here. A couple of things were different this morning. Our dog, Tasha, had elected to stay home, so I was alone, and it had been a month orRead full post »

APRIL 7, 2012 7:31PM

Defending Thomas Kinkade

kinkade 1 

First of all, this is not about Thomas Kinkade the man (who died today) or Thomas Kinkade the drunk or Thomas Kinkade the super marketer or Thomas Kinkade the super Christian or Thomas Kinkade the fraud suspect or even Thomas Kinkade the philanthropist (oh, yes, that's buried inRead full post »

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "ARead full post »

APRIL 1, 2012 8:54AM

Phoenix

Stuck in the Yukon with nothing but a cargo of duct tape.  Your plane's been ravaged by a hungry bear that smelled fish bait on board. Oh, what to do?1

 

 

 

I mean, just look at it!  Miles and miles from nowhere!  Help!2

 

 

 

We bush pilotsRead full post »

MARCH 29, 2012 8:39PM

Vote Republican!

Heard this on NPR just now.  I'm still laffing.  Might have have torn my appendix or given myself a hernia.  May end up suing somebody.  Play this video with caution. 

 

web analytics Read full post »
MARCH 24, 2012 8:55AM

First dogwood at dawn

Feeding the chickens this morning I noticed these dogwood buds had just opened.  Went back in and got the camera, and when I started to frame the photo I saw some redbud blooms in the background.  Put me in a Eastery mood.  

 

dogwood 

web analytics Read full post »

Great idea, Zum.  I've seen some beautiful hoodied mugs answer the call thus far, starting with yours.  Lezlie's too.  Actually hers was the first I opened as it was the first I spotted in the feed.  Quick dropped what I was doing, whipped out my...hoodie and here I am.

 

MARCH 19, 2012 9:02PM

Cranky really did write a book!

He did it. He really did it. Cranky didn't just mock up a book cover that somebody could hold in front of the camera at the latest OS New York meet-up or paste on his blog to make it appear he'd actually written and published a book. HeRead full post »

MARCH 17, 2012 12:15PM

Watch eagle chick being born!

What better way to spend St. Paddy's Day, huh?  Begorrah!

 

eagles

 Click photo for video link and webcam

web analytics Read full post »
MARCH 9, 2012 7:22AM

Punny funs

[ Disclaimer:  These came overnite in an email from a from a friend and have not been carefully examined for political correctness.]

1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , theRead full post »

Dammit to hell anyways.  I spend all morning fiddling with the Nikon to get me a new avatar photo wearing my new Help Save the Dumas Brothel T-shirt, taking shot after shot after shot, moving the tripod out and in and out and in (oops, Freudian) and tilting the pan (pan?)/Read full post »

FEBRUARY 24, 2012 8:37AM

Funny Friday

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day byRead full post »

FEBRUARY 21, 2012 11:44AM

Fartsy artsy (with animation!)

fart scrolls 

Call me immature.  Go ahead, I won't try to deny it.  How could I?  My only regret is the absence of an appropriately youthful constitution and congruent innocence. 

Nor would I consider seeking absolution by claiming I received this in an email and am intendingRead full post »

FEBRUARY 20, 2012 8:24AM

For Margaret

 Alex's doppelgänger?  Or is Alex Michael's?

 

Michael
 

Here are some other shots I found on the camera:

  MikenHeather

Mike and ex-girlfriend

 

withSarah

With his sister, Sarah

 

Anyone wondering what the hail this is about, check Margaret Feike's post of yest… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 19, 2012 12:01PM

A narcissist's narcissist

I decided to try Leaving the Atocha Station after hearing Maureen Corrigan read her review of it a couple of months ago on NPR’s “Fresh Air with Terry Gross” Listen

Corrigan concluded that it was “flip, hip, smart, and very funny” and “unlike any other novel-readi/… Read full post »