Dear the Open Salon,
Now that we have shared a few of our letters with you, we thought it would be nice of us to share some of our recipes with you. Here is one from me that won first prize in the Our Lady of Perpetual Torment Catholic Church's annual recipe contest. I won a $50 savings bond and a box of rosary beads!
Spam and Velveeta Casserole
Ingredients
- 1 can Spam, cubed
- 16 oz. Velveeta, cubed
- 1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
- 1 can Cream of Celery Soup
- 2 cans milk
- 16 oz. frozen mixed veggies
- 3 cups minute rice
- 2 Tbsp. Soy sauce
- Crushed potato chips
- Cooking spray
Directions
- Pray to all that is Good and Holy.
- Preheat oven to 350.
- Mix all ingredients except potato chips and fold into a glass casserole sprayed with cooking spray.
- Sprinkle crushed chips on top and bake for about one hour.
- Serve with a great bread and salad or just by it self!
- NOTE: I often will use fat-free and low-fat products for this and it's just as good. Turkey Spam has way less fat and sodium than even reduced fat. Also, fat-free 1/2 & 1/2 works great in this recipe in place of the milk. Take care of your heart!
Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Maude
Dear Internet People,
I've seen some of the inedible crap you people put on here every Tuesday. Try this and maybe your stomachs won't rot out from unpasteurized cheeses and under-cooked pork.
Green Jell-o Salad
Ingredients:
1 package lemon Jello
1 package lime Jello
1 big can of pineapple
1 big can evaporated milk
1 cup cottage cheese
1 cup finely shredded cabbage
1/2 cup mayonnaise or (even better!) Miracle Whip
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1 pinch salt
Directions:
Drain pineapple into 2 cup glass measuring cup. Add enough water to the pineapple liquid to make 2 cups. Put into saucepan and heat liquid.
Dissolve Jello in hot pineapple liquid. Put Jello into 1 1/2 quart container (the salad will ultimately be made in this container). Place in refrigerator to cool. Combine remaining ingredients and add to the Jello when the Jello becomes sticky. Combine well and place back in the refrigerator to set up.
You people could learn a thing or two from your elders. We don't die from Japanese Sushi Worms boring into our intestines.
Fondly,
Myrtle
TIP:
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Rupert T
AtHomePilgrim
LeslieCA
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Myriad
Salon.com
Comments
(thumbified for um... wow.)
Monty Python would be proud.
Myrtle,
I hope you won’t take offense, but I shared an anecdote about a Jello salad frighteningly similar to this on one of zumalicious’s recent posts. Please forgive the white trash slur—call it cultural ignorance on my part. Perhaps now that you’ve shared this recipe, I’ll have a deeper appreciation for its heritage.
—Melissa
Can you say "Act of Contrition!!!"
Rated
I'm so glad to finally have these recipes. Thank you for sharing your culinary expertise.
May I ask a small favor? Will you please post the recipes for aspic and head cheese? I suddenly have a craving for more gelatin-y goodness.
Yours til the Jello-O molds,
Nora
I was surprised to receive your response denying our past acquaintance. I did not think, after your antecedents participation in the great debate on legalization of birth control, along with that of my grandmother and her very bosom friend, Margaret Sanger, that you would hold that indictment and my time in Alcatraz against me. I hope to hear, at the very least, from Rupert since I am well aware
The jello salad will be superb to present when somebody makes someone else cry! Also,it is a sublime combination of roughage and a very tasty dessert treat! Dry your tears for this, I'll say!
Thank you for sharing these prize worthy recipes.
Sincerely, aim