maura4u

maura4u
Location
Clearwater, Florida, USA
Birthday
April 09
Title
Publisher/Author/Radio Show Co-Host
Company
New Vision Entertainment, LLC
Bio
I've waited over fifty years for this moment to arrive, and it's finally MY turn to hold court. Yes, I'd long ago envisioned myself a foreign diplomat to Latin America. I'd be utilizing my beloved second tongue, attending august functions and carrying a document-laden briefcase filled with new treaties. I'd attend important meetings, dine at state functions, and bring North American ideas and ideals to our Spanish-speaking neighbors to the South. Unfortunately, the State Department hasn't seen fit to tap me on the shoulder, the Obama Administration hasn't called me for an appointment, and I haven't the inclination to play party crasher to any White House events. (Truth be told, I never applied to the State Department, bare no political label and would really hate having to wear those boring navy suits again.) At this point in my life, I'm far more inclined to attend the gala in my own fashions, speak for myself rather than an institution, and make my mark trading pithy comments with world leaders over dinner. (Besides, my Latin dance moves might not jive with official State protocol.) That said, it's now time for me to advance my own words with my version of Foreign Policy. Let's just say I'm advancing the Policy of Truth and Good Humor. Welcome to my Salon - so glad you could come!

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JUNE 1, 2011 9:28AM

NASCAR Refutes Snooki Filming Reality TV Series (Satire)

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MIKE worried purple (Maura4u's Note: Our TheeMIKE.com character strikes again . . . .:) 

 (Satire) NASCAR adamantly denied this morning that Nicole Snooki Polizzi's car crash in Florence, Italy resulted from filming a new reality TV series called NASCAR Nymphs.

NASCAR quickly squashed surfacing speculation that the Charlotte, NC based organization had recruited Snooki to broaden the sport's predominantly southeastern US fan appeal into Europe and sought to capitalize on the MTV Jersey Shore series star's racy behavior and Italian roots.

Sally Ann Salsano, Executive Producer of Jersey Shore's Production Company 495, quickly downplayed the traffic incident and quelled the NASCAR rumor.  In a prepared statement, she offered that the 23-year-old self-proclaimed "Guidette" experienced only a mini-fender bender on a Florence, Italy roadway. The accident had nothing to do with filming a new reality tv show for NASCAR.

Salsano also stressed that no alcohol was involved in the crash which included Polizzi's Jersey Shore co-star Deena Nicole Cortese.  The 1.5 liter glass container resembling a Tuscan wine bottle found in the back seat that the Jersey Girls were purportedly reaching for was later identified by Italian toxicologists as nothing more than a major supply of the girls' daily SPF 0.5 tanning bronzer.

While investigating the accident, Italian police also reported that air bags failed to deploy during the crash of the female drivers' Fiat Multipla.  Fortunately, however, the girls escaped certain injury as they were protected from the collision's sudden impact by Snooki's more than ample buxom bosom.

NASCAR officials appeared more than relieved to move past the Snooki problem. NASCAR is still minding its own situation with Bad Boy Kyle Busch who possesses a personality equally prone to hissy fits, unrestrained clashes with teammates and inane behavior.

Like Snookie, Busch also mindlessly speeds around in a circle while eluding those who would like to grab him by the camshaft and realign his chassis.

Straight Talk.  No Static.

MIKE - Thee American Made Voice on Sports!

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