Parents, has your teen come out to you as bisexual, lesbian, gay, queer, or transgendered?

Were you surprised by the disclosure?  (Maybe not!)

Are you worried about your teen's future?  Are you concerned about your teen's mental health?

Adolescence can be a trying time for any parent concerned about the mental state of their hormonal youth.  But, good news has emerged from the University of Michigan's School of Public Health.  Their recent studies show that involvement in same-sex relationships is good for LGBT and questioning teens. Socializing and dating with other LGBTQ teens actually boosts self-esteem, lowers internalized homophobia, relieves depression and anxiety.

Mental health is a concern when dealing with LGBT youth, who have shown higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidality than their heterosexual counterparts.  

However, according to Jose Bauermeister, the assistant professor who  lead the research at Michigan, dating and having same-sex relationships can actually have a positive and protective effect on the mental health of LGBTQ teens:

The protective effects of same-sex relationships are different for young men and women, says Bauermeister, who oversees the SPH Sexuality and Health Lab. A same-sex relationship is protective in that it reduces internalized homophobia for girls even after only one relationship. For men, a same-sex relationship is protective in that it raises self-esteem, but the relationship must be prolonged. 

"There's also a protective effect of being out with your friends," Bauermeister said. "Again it seems to also go with both increases in self-esteem for boys and with decreased internal homophobia for girls. All types of relationships seem to matter here." 

"Providers and caregivers of (gay, lesbian and bisexual) youth need to create supportive environments where kids can talk about and support their sexual identity, which may include their dating experiences with same-sex and opposite-sex partners," Bauermeister said. 

So whether you've suspected for a while or you are still reeling from the disclosure, know that, ultimately, the kids are alright.  (And that you are not to blame for their queerness anymore than you are to blame for their hairstyles.)  Loving your children for who they are and allowing them room to explore dating can build toward a productive life of rewarding relationships.  

If you need support in providing your LBGTQ teen with a positive environment, contact your local PFLAG--Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays--they'll be happy to help you.

Now, that should help you get ready for their date to the prom.