The one thing I’ve learned is that when it comes to information, it pays to be informed. One should never debate the facts of an issue without factoring the facts. That’s like eating blueberries when you know you are colored blind or really crave bananas. That’s just insane.

Now, insanity is indeed a curious thing. Mix insanity with proportional amounts of paranoia and stupidity—shaken or stirred—and you get the likes of Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA), Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN), Minority Leader Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) … Bozo the Clown.

Beck fears the National Endowment of the Arts is an Obama propaganda machine. Hannity insists he’s intelligent. Grassley fears all plugged in medical devices. Bachmann wants to fast and pray for deliverance from healthcare reform and obligations to think. McConnell and McCain insist on insisting on things not relevant. And Bozo the Clown was our 43rd President. There ought to be a law or laws protecting we the citizens of the United States from such insanity, or from sycophants self-idolizing sociopathic sociopolitical alphabet soup eaters. We need laws, a system of rules, usually enforced through a set of institutions: public, private and psychiatric. So, I’ve researched legal opinion and precedent throughout the United States via the internet; this is but a few true examples of what I discovered….

Alabama 

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

Alaska

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

Arizona

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Arkansas

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.

California

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Connecticut

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

Florida

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

Georgia

Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.

Hawaii

No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.

Idaho

You may not fish on a camel’s back.

Illinois, Chicago

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

Indiana

The value of Pi is 3.

Iowa

One-armed piano players must perform for free.

Kansas

If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.

Kentucky

One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.

Louisiana

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Maine

You may not step out of a plane in flight.

Maryland

It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.

Massachusetts

No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

Michigan

Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.

Minnesota

It is illegal to sleep naked.

Mississippi

It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

Missouri

It is not illegal to speed.

Montana

It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.

Nebraska

It is Illegal to go whale fishing.

Nevada

It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

New Hampshire

On Sundays, citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

New Jersey

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

New Mexico, Las Cruces

You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.

New York

Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”

North Carolina

Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields

North Dakota

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio

It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

Oklahoma

People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

Oregon

Dishes must drip dry.

Pennsylvania

You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.

Rhode Island

No one may bite off another’s leg.

South Carolina

It is illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina.

South Dakota

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Tennessee

Driving is not to be done while asleep.

Texas

It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

Utah

It is illegal to cause a catastrophe.

Vermont

It is illegal to deny the existence of God.

Virginia

It is illegal to tickle women.

Washington

All lollipops are banned.

West Virginia

Whistling underwater is prohibited.

Wisconsin

State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.

Wyoming

You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

 *Note: No responsibility is assumed for veracity or viscosity herewith.