Chuck A. Stetson

Chuck A. Stetson
October 13
she who knows knows and loves me — i am a happy man.


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SEPTEMBER 7, 2009 2:22PM

Aphrodite Also Asks Why?

Rate: 27 Flag

I need answers to the why. Confusion can and does confound me, but I like to know things: why is there fire in the mountains, lightening in the air? When God gave out rhythm why did he also give out Popsicle toes—mostly grape and orange. And why is politics political? Did I choose the existence in which I ponder this? Did my mother really have sex? Gross…!

Meditation without mediation sometimes brings enlightenment, so does ESPN Deportes, broadcast in algebra: they are both lacking in the hurry up department, so, I speed dialed my friend Nietzsche, hoping he didn’t have me on speed denial. He didn’t; he answered after the third ring. “Yes?”

“Freddy, I’m sensing disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless and absurd world.”


“Does existence precede essence? Does the actual life of the individual constitutes what could be called his or her essence instead of there being a predetermined essence that defines what it is to be a human?”

“Shit… I should’ve let this go to voicemail, but since you ask, I don't believe in magic. I don't believe in I-ching. I don't believe in Bible. I don't believe in Tarot. I don't believe in Gita. I don't believe in yoga. I don't believe in kings. I don't believe in Elvis. I don't believe in Zimmerman. I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me. And that's reality.”

“Dude that’s harsh….” Before I could finish my thought, the blue light to my eBay iPhone alerted me to an incoming call. “Hold on… yes?”

“Elton?” a suffering fellow asked.


“Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld, so I can sigh eternally.”


“You're so self-involved. You're in some kind of fog. You're hung up on your hog. You didn't even make me, come on!” a righteous sounding lady chimed in.




“Precisely,” three voices answered back.

I hung up my eBay iPhone realizing it was really a Motorola Razr2 sans battery. Maybe I should’ve meditated or astral projected my sorry ass to the universal library of answers on Neptune; instead, I ordered a pizza with extra mushrooms, knowing I always nap after digesting pizza with extra mushrooms. And in my yesterday’s dream dreamt this coming Tuesday, I remembered the wisdom of Karl Jung’s sister Aphrodite's favorite singer John Fogerty, “Did you hear ‘em talking ‘bout it on the radio? Did you try to read the writing on the wall? Did that voice inside you say I've heard it all before? It's like Déjà vu all over again.”






 Let's get back to reality....


Author tags:

open call, essay, politics, bullshit

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The politics of bullshit....
Chuck, you're not supposed to think on Labor Day. You're supposed to bbq burgers. Nice piece though, funny. I think this must be the first time I've seen the name Nietzsche on OS, but I'm new here. And he is peachy. See, I'm not thinking. Do you want that with ketchup or mustard?

Have you ever stepped in bullshit? It's definitely real.

Could you PM me Nietzsche's phone number? I need to ask him if a casual stroll through a lunatic asylum really does confirm that faith doesn't prove anything.
Oy . . . what a group!
I should be reading this at midnight, not at noon. Sometimes, the questions are enough. There's your essence, the curiosity about your own existence.
I was with you right up until "I don't believe in Beatles."

Death to you, blasphemer... or at least lay off the shrooms. Try a meat lovers pizza.
I never think on any days ending in "Y."
I clean my feet often
I'd PM it but I hear it's now unlisted.
this post dedicated to all....
Sirenita Lake
You should read my stuff with a good buzz on....
That's Nietzsche talking down the Beatles
xox back at ya
So are you telling me Freddy is another Walrus?

I’m savoring this musing on the why’s of whyness, not least because grape is my favorite flavor, orange my favorite color :-)


P.S. Speaking of why’s, are you familiar with why the lucky stiff? His Poignant Guide to Ruby is a surprisingly lovely pieces of contemporary literature (complete with cartoons!). I just tried to find a link to the book, which used to be available online, only to learn that why has recently disappeared himself from the Internet. This is deeply unnerving and leaves me and many others wondering . . . why.
Chuck- You make the profound so damn entertaining! (chuckle)

This called to mind these lyrics from an old Peggy Lee song:

I know what you must be saying to yourselves,
if that's the way she feels about it why doesn't she just end it all?
Oh, no, not me. I'm in no hurry for that final disappointment,
for I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you,
when that final moment comes and I'm breathing my lst breath, I'll be saying to myself

Is that all there is? Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is
no more chunky bacon???

yes... let's break out the booze. September is going to be fun!
I love the way that you write. Very intelligent piece. Funny too.
thank you... I try not preach, but to sing.
my Nietzschie has always been diluted with a bit of Sagan.
Yes... I'll put Ludwig on speed dial. Thank you for reading.
Gee, Nietzsche sounds a lot like John Lennon.
Yes... highly censored at that.
FINALLY! Something on Labor Day that made me smile!
And dream sweet dreams of extra mushrooms!
@John Blumenthal: Nietzsche? Stick around. Chuck's just getting warmed up.
My dreams are heavily invested in 'shrooms.
Yep. It's after Labor Day, now I get Autumn-whacked!
Your words are good, as always. But that last graphic? Superb! I used to have this printed on business cards and I passed them out sparingly--especially when I worked with a bunch of lawyers! Those cards usually made someone's day (so they told me)! Brought back lots of fine memories, Chuck--so thanks! Rated. D
Yarn Over
I'm glad you enjoyed. That graphic is priceless.
I spent my entire weekend trying not to step in horse shit, does that count?

There's gold in them hills and it's waitin' for you there!!!
It does keep your feet clean. : )
Micheal Franks, mixed with Friedrich, blended with Cohen, Elton, mushrooms, ESPN, Gods, myths, Bhagavad, Ebay, and your usual cast of faces, places is giving me Vu Deja! Karl's sister funny, mon. Me, a man who don't think too good, thinking too much is dangerous. As for confusion (my epitaph) ala King Crimson, Elton was at one time slated to be the lead singer. Great little trip, thanx for the ride! rated
I forgot about Elton and Crimson. But I won't again : )
I just love that bull's turd! : )
The funny thing is, I can't leave reality.

I adore this piece. I learned I shouldn't be posting when I should be sleeping. Thanks for the blue shirt....xox
"I just believe in me. And that's reality.”

So strange. I actually thought this same thing today, almost verbatim. I had a friend of mine start preaching God to me (he's suddenly found his way, apparently) and it was such a turn-off. It made me not want to pray - to not connect spiritually to any version of God. Yet I still wanted something. So I thought, "I'll just believe in ME and this moment. That's my reality." And then I read this.
Love this post. I must say however that our new fish (named Elvis because he is blue, sings "Blue Suede Shoes" and "Heartbreak Hotel"...especially the 'I'm so lonely I could die' part [poor Betta]) would have problems with this statement, "I don't believe in Elvis."
I can answer one of your questions:

yes, she did.


happy post labor day!
PS. Nietzsche almost sounds like nun-chucks.


I think not!!
Ah, but is it the politics of bullshit or the bullshit of politics? I once tried playing badminton with a cat instead of a shuttlecock, but unfortunately we raised quite a racquet.

Please pass the lime when you're done. Boy, you're gonna carry that weight a long time.