Melissa Maroff

Melissa Maroff
Los Angeles, California, United States
January 02
Melissa Maroff is a writer and animal advocate living in Los Angeles. She contributes to a variety of publications/websites, is currently a columnist for Creative Screenwriting Magazine and a former stand-up comic and TV monologue writer. Melissa would like nothing more than for animal welfare to become a mainstream issue that's not brushed under the rug. Is that asking too much?

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NOVEMBER 2, 2012 6:35AM

Thank you, Republicans – for the learning experience

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We've come to the end – and now we Democrats must finally let go of our grasp; the straws are a-slippin’. Republicans have laid out a most convincing argument that we run away from facts and vote with our emotions. Now it appears we are only running on desperation.

We were convinced Obama was a Christian born in Hawaii – that is, until he produced his birth certificate, which Donald Trump said was fake (in spite of what the Hawaii Attorney General’s Office said). And then in a move that sealed his coffin (and his allegiance to Allah), "Nobama" defiantly refused to fork over his college transcript and passport by The Donald’s Oct. 31 deadline. 

We refused to believe that all Muslims hate us and want us dead, but then we learned that isn't the case either – most Muslims, if not all (including the 2.6 million Muslim Americans of which our president is one), really do hate us and want us dead. As Republicans point out, it says it right in the Quran. 

We also thought Obama was a friend to Israel based on his words and actions, but then came a sad awakening; "Oblunder" hopes to eventually cause the destruction of the Jewish state (aided and abetted, of course, by his Muslim extremist cohorts David Axelrod and Rahm Emanuel).

We naively assumed that if we had to choose which party was the “Party of Racism,” it would be Republicans and the Tea Party, until our bubble was burst yet again; Planned Parenthood was founded by a racist whose sole mission was to orchestrate the murder of 17 million black babies, and the KKK was founded by the Democratic Party. This leads to only one logical conclusion: in 2012, the Democratic Party, helmed by none other than the "most liberal president in U.S. history," Barack Hussein Obama – is indeed the party of racism.

We were under the misguided impression that the Democratic Party had women's best interests more in mind. Wrong again; it is in fact the Republican Party that will create jobs and raise the pay rate for underpaid women (although Romney and Ryan don't support the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act). And the Republican obsession with all things vagina, womb, fetus, contraception, abortion and forced sex  – and the redefining of rape – is only because they care.

Then we always took for granted that the federal government would step in and assist after natural disasters,  but Mitt Romney hipped us to the fact that FEMA is an "Oblunder" socialist kind of thing. The ravaged states themselves should foot most of the bill – and if they don’t have enough, they should save up – so they’ll at least be more prepared for the next disaster. Or better yet, allow the altruistic private sector the honors. You know, Blue Cross, Chevron and Walmart are all waiting in the wings, clambering to rebuild the East Coast – but as always – the federal government wants to hog all the glory.

We reactionary libs have always been hell-bent on accepting the notion of climate change, whereas conservatives realize cooler heads prevail and refuse to let a mountain of scientific evidence stand in the way of forging a better future and earth for our children and grandchildren. We now realize we are way worse off than we were four years ago, and will continue to deteriorate if we keep buying into the global warming hype. 

Dems have proven time and time again to be nothing more than a bunch of narrow-minded, anti-intellectuals that continue to drink the Kool aid and are just stuck on stupid. We must now hang it up (not our guns, of course) and join the party of reason.  

I pray for my fellow Democrats and for our country. As always, God Bless America (and screw the rest of the world).




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I sit across from a leftie where I work. We had a huge debate one day when the boss wasn't here that lasted nearly 3 hours. People started coming out of their offices to listen. LOL. He's a good friend of mine, like you are. We just have different political philosophies. We both passionately believe in a different worldview. Some of your article is right. But a lot of it is a misrepresentation of conservative views. Whether intentional or not, I think you're better than that. I could certainly help clarify some things. I'm very conservative, but if I ran into someone claiming to be conservative that believed everything you wrote about what conservatives think, I would question their intelligence. And then shoot them. 'Cuz that's my right. Second Amendment! I'm my OWN militia, baby!

See what I mean? That was my impression of a liberal doing their impression of a conservative. That's how I felt when reading your article. When I think that people are voting who actually believe all the trash that is being said (on both sides) without looking into things and thinking it through, it makes me sick. I was one of them until about 8 years ago, when I started studying history and economics. Before that, the only thing that "trickled down" was that last little bit of pee down my leg when I forgot to shake. I guess I've always been conservative, but until recently, I didn't know why.

And now that I sit next to a liberal at work who is a great guy all-around, I am starting to take an interest in the honest views of the other side. Not that I'll ever change my mind, but just to see where the disconnect is and to better debate without resorting to the standard easy cliches. I even watch a little MSNBC now, although I've got high blood pressure, and my doctor told me to limit that to internet highlights.

Well, I've gone on long enough. Anyway, gotta go take my sick grandmother's medicine away and push her off a cliff.
Yes, Robert, I understand that nothing is absolute and you might not be one of those conservatives, but I challenge you to find even one of my examples that hasn't been a recurring GOP theme, sentiment or obsession throughout this campaign.
the only solution i can see is for lefties to move to the west coast and vote to secede from the usa. unlike iran, the west coast is not a threat to israel, so might not be invaded by the usa. a mutual defense pact with the prc, and mexico, should be enough to defuse hostilities.

the north east can do the same, with some kind of pact with canada. then, the conservatives will utterly own the red states and may construct the kind of society they yearn for.
Or how about since the "lefties" have NY, Chicago and Los Angeles and the upper midwest, the"righties" can consolidate from Texas to Alabama and farther north to Tennessee, Kentucky, etc. and, of course, seal off the border to Mexico. That might work except for the explosion of unwanted babies, but they'll be able to work something out. The devil isn't in the details for them.