At the entreaty of their dear friend, Nabina, Melissa and Michael have agreed to discuss their firsts. Are you ready, Michael?

Yes, I’m ready.

Melissa?

Sure. Fire away.

Here is your fi/…

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(scratching nails down sliding glass door)

Oh my gosh./…

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The post that finally displaced Kaysong’s “My Sexiest Men Living” was titled “Swinging Dicks & Bouncing Boobies (with Puppies!!!)”. It got a 5000 rating and stayed at number one in the Most Viewed column for so long that everyone’s monitor s/… Read full post »

(A) I’ve just decided I’m gonna be in a perpetual state of quitting OS.

(A) Haha.

(A) Every morning I wake up, and I read the front page and I see what people are commenting on and reading and spending their time on, and I get so depressed./… Read full post »

(sings)

     Where Was Elvis when he died?

     He was poopin’, poopin’, poopin’!

(laughs)

I wish songs could just be that long. I could make a million of them.

     (A) Elvi/… Read full post »

 

Michael: You know how on American Chopper you can tell the dialogue has… Read full post »

 

Michael: I can remember a couple of months into boot camp, looking up at the American flag and bursting into tears. I couldn’t even control it. I was so moved to think of what it really represented. Unfortunately, my love of country has gone downhill from… Read full post »

Michael: (performing)

     OS, again?

     You love OS, Mikey.

     (babbling) Glooflen. glueflen gloo . . .

     (A) What’s that?

Melissa: (A) That was from the other night. Another f/… Read full post »

 

Melissa: (waking) What time is it, love?

Michael: (E) 12:46.

Melissa: (E) Hahaha.

     (E)/…

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Michael: My Father’s Day story would go like this:

     My dad was Irish. My dad was a cook. My dad beat my mother to a pulp. My dad left. I’ve never seen or heard from my dad again.

Melissa: (A) Didn’t he beat your mom because she wanted to/… Read full post »

Melissa: One thing I realize is so great about OS is I’m getting to do so much more reading now. I get to read because I have to read.

Michael: If that’s what’s happening, I’m delighted.

     (later)

   &nbs/… Read full post »

Michael: We posted our post?

     That seems unbelievable.

Melissa: I know.

Michael: Is it any good?

     If you were giving it a grade, what would you give it?

Melissa: I don’t know. It wasn’t as strong as the last one, but we just n/… Read full post »

Michael: You know what really disturbs me about what we just said?

     Talking about if we’re real or not.

Melissa: I wonder if it’s more obvious to people who’ve been reading us from the beginning—

Michael: Has anyone been reading us from the… Read full post »

Melissa: These posts are getting way too long. We’ve gotta make a short one.

Michael: Yeah.

Melissa: (typing comment)

Michael: No winkies.

Melissa: Smiley.

Michael. No winkies. No smilies. No series of exclamation points.

  &nb/… Read full post »

Michael: Can we finish this, please?

     (C) That would be nice.

     (A) So are you reading now? Are we in metaland?

Melissa: (A) Yes.

     (A) (reads “We’ve got so many things to finish, it’s scary./… Read full post »

Melissa: (moving dropped lines to deleted.txt)

Michael: Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop!

     It’s like you want to try and take all the crumbs of our words and make bread out of them later.

Melissa: (A) ”Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop!”

Michael: (A) I&r… Read full post »

Michael: I’m just about to cap it off—

     (C) We need a way to indicate when the line our reader is reading exists outside of the normal timeline, like this one.

Melissa: (C) What about putting it in square brackets? And each subsequent sub-conversation/… Read full post »

Michael: This is gonna be our first subjectless post.

Melissa: I hope that doesn’t mean it’s going to be pointless, too.

Michael: I’m beginning to believe all of these are pointless.

Melissa: You would think that.

     Let’s get back to/… Read full post »

Michael: Maybe we should start having artwork.

Melissa: Like what?

Michael: You’ll see.

     (later)

     I’m gonna name the subject right off the bat this time.

(pause)

Melissa: Don’t you need to eat?

Michael: I don&r… Read full post »

Melissa: Okay, now we can eat.

Michael: Don’t worry about “eat,” let’s get back to the text.

Melissa: Okay, okay.

Michael: I don’t wanna work on this now.

Melissa: Whaddyou mean?

Michael: We’ve got six others started. I wanna finish one of those first.

Melissa: But wha… Read full post »

Michael: Here you go, love.

     (offering other half of candybar)

     Here’s your evil bar.
     
Melissa: Save it.

     (rushing to keyboard)

     Saveitness!

&nb… Read full post »

Michael: So it wasn’t bad news after all, was it?

Melissa: No, they’re having a family reunion sort of thing. Danny was just calling to see if we could come, even though he knew we probably couldn’t.

Michael: That’s good. At least it wasn’t something bad.

  &nbs… Read full post »

Michael: There’s a difference between words that are written to be read, and words that are said to be heard. In speaking, we’re usually looking for simplicity of expression with all pertaining facts secondary—

Melissa: If you’re looking for simplicity of expression, you should… Read full post »

Michael: Sorry about all that hyper meta fascistic crap earlier.

Melissa: What “hyper meta fascistic crap?”

Michael: You know. Not mentioning the subject or allowing exclamation points. All that stuff.

     I’m just excited about writing this, and that former gung-ho p… Read full post »