MAY 16, 2009 7:38PM

You Would Normally Say “Birdies”

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Michael: Are you ready to start the next one?

     Can you write that down?

Melissa: I am!

Michael: Right off the bat, no exclamation points in this post.

Melissa: It’s too late.

Michael: I know, but no more.

Melissa: I’ll try.

Michael: What we are going to write about today is writing about soda.

Melissa: You mean, sodey?

Michael: Yes. Brown gold. Michael’s tea.

Melissa: Your poor teeth.

Michael: My teeth are fine.

(both laugh)

Melissa: Okay, what about soda? I mean sodey.

Michael: No, we’re not going to write about sodey. We’re going to write about what we’re going to write about sodey. As a matter of fact, I think I’m gonna take another sip.

Melissa: What are we going to write about sodey?

Michael: Write about what we’re going to write about sodey!

Melissa: Uh-oh—an exclamation point! Oh no, there’s another one!

Michael: And another one!

     Stop it!

Melissa: It’s hopeless.

Michael: Let’s keep going. So, what are we going to write about writing about sodey?

Melissa: I think we’re doing it.

Michael: You’re right! So it should be easy!


Melissa: Don’t what?

Michael: I’ve got to go check on the birds.

Melissa: You would normally say “birdies.”

Michael: Okay, I’m back. Did you get that down?

Melissa: I did now.

Michael: Okay, where were we?

Melissa: How are the birdies?

Michael: Fine!

     No more! I’m not kidding!

     Put another one after “more.”

     And then we start to notice how many of yours are question marks and how many of mine are exclamation points.

Melissa: That’s because you’re negative and I’m lookahead!

Michael: Another exclamation point! Shouldn’t it have been a question mark, anyway?

Melissa: Now you’re the one doing question marks!

Michael: Well, I did ask a question.

Melissa: And I’m doing exclamation points.

Michael: This is obvious.

Melissa: So, sodey.

Michael: No, not sodey! Writing about sodey!

     No, there’s no exclamation point after that!

     Put that there. With an exclamation point.

     I said, “With an exclamation point.”

Melissa: But you said it with an exclamation point.

Michael: I know! I was agreeing to put an exclamation point!

     Now you’re becoming defensive.

Melissa: There is no defense against that.

Michael: That’s true.

     Have we written enough about writing about . . . sodey?

Melissa: We haven’t even started.

Michael: Yes, we did! The minute we started writing.

Melissa: I was going to talk about bubbles.

Michael: What about bubbles?

Melissa: That’s one of the reasons you like it.

Michael: The carbonation?

Melissa: Yeah.

Michael: But see, the problem is we’re talking about soda now. That’s wrong! We’re supposed to be writing about writing about sodey. We don’t even have to mention sodey!

Melissa: Or the qualities of sodey?

Michael: The qualities of sodey would be fine.

Melissa: Hence the bubbles.

Michael: “Yes, hence”.

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Type your comment below:
My lawyer's tells me to look up Bartleby.
bubbles is in town? No blow Mr. Bubble.
Play with finger paints. Paints a window.
sodey rots the white teeth
spinach makes green teeth
pepsi= 13- spoons of sugar

mountain dew has 18 spoons
sodey's too sweet for a drink
You the upscale mead bibber

Mead has no sugar, just honey
You sip mead on a honeymoon
Mead never gives bloated burp
You save M & M in back pockets
You sit down naked and squeak
A fetish goes away with all fears

No bend over M & M? You toots
Friends don't moon the bloggers
Ya sip Mead. Ya no toot or burps

beloved readers will run out a door
please no toot in a a Salon elevator
@ open salon:`no stink You policy

sodey. oops. pop soda pop popeye
so silly. Michael & Melissa Ya goof
Ya get melted M & M on keyboard
Melissa: Wow, we got our first comment!

(reading comment)

Michael: You think he doesn't like it?

Melissa: Whether he does or not, at least it's poetic.

Michael: I don't know. It seems like something that someone would write a script to make.

Melissa: It's abstract expressionist.

Michael: It does have a shape to it.