MAY 18, 2009 9:10PM

What’s a Good Name for a Nickname?

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Michael: I think I’ve been saying it wrong.

Melissa: What do you mean?

Michael: What we’re writing about.

Melissa: So you mean the subtitle’s wrong?

Michael: Well, if I’m right.

     About being wrong.


Melissa: You’re right.

     About being wrong.

Michael: I know.

     (thinks)

     We are writing about the dialogue we are having about what to write about.

Melissa: Not really “writing”—we’re recording.

Michael: So we’re recorders, now.

Melissa: I am The Recorder. That’s one of my—

     Er, uh—

     I don’t like to say “nicknames.”

     ”Aliases”? I don’t like that either.

     What’s a good name for a nickname?

Michael: I’m lost because this is taking too long.

Melissa: I’m still getting used to writing in html.

     But remember—my question.

Michael: What question?

Melissa: You know—

Michael: Don’t!

Melissa: Don’t what?

Michael: Don’t write it. Say it!

Melissa: I thought you said you learned to empathize with the situation.

Michael: I did! It’s just that we’re supposed to be working where I type what you say, and you type what I say.

Melissa: Oh no. That was a one-off. You would take too many years to finish.

Michael: Yeah, but you’ve been speaking in these short little sentences, so I thought it would be easy to keep up.

Melissa: Not when you average one typo every three words.

Michael: I want you to note that you’re laughing at your own joke.

Melissa: Actually, I was laughing because I had a typo in “typo.” I did it again! I keep typing “type” instead of “typo” and then having to correct it.

Michael: I’m sorry. I’m just boggled where to go from there.

     This is totally uninteresting, talking about the typos that we’re making.

Melissa: I’m not talking about the typos that we’re making, I’m talking about the humor of the hypocrisy of my making typos while I’m criticizing you for making typos.

Michael: This strikes me as very similar to puns. It’s humor of the lowest level.

     Only someone in the grammar police would find this funny.

Melissa: Huzzah for the grammar police!

Michael: Let’s get back to changing the subtitle.

     What did I say earlier?

Melissa: That you were right about being wrong.

Michael: No! I said something that was more accurate to what we were doing.

Melissa: “Accurate to what we were doing”? What does that mean?

Michael: About being wrong about being right. Or—

     I mean, right about being wrong.

Melissa: That’s what I said!

Michael: Just go look up in the text!

     Did you find it?

Melissa: Uh-huh.

     Okay, I was the one who actually said you were right about being wrong.

Michael: I wasn’t even talking about that!

     Didn’t I give you a more accurate description of what we were doing?

     Here it is.

     “We are writing about the dialogue we are having about what to write about.”

Melissa: The problem is—

     There are too many—

     Open Salon doesn’t allow that many characters in the subtitle.

Michael: How many is it over?

Melissa: “A lot!”

Michael: What’s that from?

Melissa: (laughs) “In those days, ‘a lot’ meant like a—”

     “That’s not a lot.”

Michael: So now we’re going to start including television shows, too?

     That would be an interrobang.

Melissa: Really? You really meant it that strongly?

Michael: I guess not.

     Well then, what
do we call it?

Melissa: How ‘bout “Writing About Writing About What We’re Writing About”?

Michael: Will that fit?

Melissa: How many characters is it?

     “52 bytes.”

     It fits!

Michael: Well then, make it that.

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