Message in a Bottle

Mitch's diary: an attempt to remain sane.
NOVEMBER 21, 2010 3:45PM

The Silence of the Telemarketers

I got an annoying telemarketing call this morning. Since it was an otherwise quiet Sunday morning, we've been on the National Do-Not-Call Registry ever since it started, and have received calls from this same outfit before (and asked to be removed from their list), I was more-than-usually brusque witRead full post »

AUGUST 21, 2010 5:43PM

Less of a Man

From Mid-March until now, I have lost 37 pounds. I have been thinking about this in various ways; for example:

  • In my business, I handle a lot of milk. A gallon of milk (or pretty much any watery liquid) weighs 8 pounds; so, I have reduced my weight by the
  • Read full post »

This morning I was reading my Facebook news feed when I noticed a post by a friend; she mentioned a letter written by Marianne Williamson to Sarah Palin.

Directly beneath my friend's post was one from announcing that over 5,000 people have joined in an effort to… Read full post »

MARCH 15, 2010 10:50PM

More Random Thoughts on ChatRoulette

For those of you unfamiliar with it, ChatRoulette randomly connects you with strangers for video chats. It is generally not suitable for work, and absolutely not suitable for children. Here are some additional thoughts I have had about the service; my first post on the subject can be found here.Read full post »

MARCH 12, 2010 4:59PM

Random Thoughts About ChatRoulette

Over the past ten days or so, I have spent about five hours on ChatRoulette. For those of you unfamiliar with it, ChatRoulette randomly connects you with strangers for video chats. As you can imagine, pretty much anything goes. Here are some thoughts on the service and what I think I've… Read full post »

From time to time, Facebook posts items about some of my friends and what they have been up to; sometimes the items are assembled using unintentionally amusing placement.

Today I saw that one of my friends is now a fan of both In-N-Out Burger and Victoria's Secret. I posted to her… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 17, 2010 5:14PM

Lesson learned

Every week or so I get a phone call at my shop from one or more businesses that are trying to sell me ad space on sports calendars, t-shirts and the like, ostensibly to support one of the local high schools. ("Local" seems to be loosely defined by these people; some… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 14, 2010 3:48PM

Seventeen Minutes and Five Seconds

Last month while I was in Houston, I bought a little music box that plays "My Funny Valentine" when you turn the crank. I gave it to my wife today. She really likes it, which is a good thing, 'cause the one that plays "In-a-Gadda-da-Vida" wouldn't have… Read full post »
NOVEMBER 24, 2009 8:47PM

Wrong Number

Apparently, I have a certain air about me; often, strangers come up to me and ask me questions, especially directions. This used to happen to me a lot in stores; people would mistake me for an employee and ask me where to find things.

Maybe it's my face. People used to/… Read full post »
NOVEMBER 24, 2009 7:46PM

Out Here

Back around 1990, I was on a business trip to Australia. One day a local resident took me on a trip from Sydney to the Blue Mountains, about two hours away by car. After checking out some of the sights in and around Katoomba, we bought burgers and fries and drove… Read full post »
I recently spent a few days back in my old hometown of Baltimore. I flew in from Albuquerque Saturday night, rented a car, and stayed at the Radisson in Cross Keys, a gated community where I worked as a security guard after leaving college in the early 70's.

I was back in/… Read full post »
FEBRUARY 22, 2009 10:24PM

More (Alleged) Comedy

[Here is a comedy routine I did last night at a benefit 'no-talent' show. The Grant County porn consists of the names of various features of the area.]

Can you hear me over there? (pause)

Can you hear me in back? (pause)

Can you hear me in Lordsburg? (pause)Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 10, 2009 2:49PM

As Funny as a Heart Attack - Part 2 of 2


As Funny as a Heart Attack

Part 2 of 2: Fun’s Fun, Until Somebody Gets Hurt


[Author’s Note: This was originally written eight years ago. I am still alive and in reasonably good health. ]

 … Read full post »



As Funny as a Heart Attack

Part 1 of 2: Pay Attention—You’re Next!


 [Author’s Note: This was originally written eight years ago. I am still alive and in reasonably good health. ]


It all started sometime between… Read full post »

JANUARY 26, 2009 10:36PM

Deja Jew

I live in a small town, and like many such towns in the American West, and especially in New Mexico, there is a relatively high tolerance for alternative/New Age/non-traditional beliefs. By way of setting the scene, it also bears mentioning that our community of 10,000 has about 60 or 70 disorganized/…

Read full post »

It was the fall of 1969. I was 16; she was 15. How we met is a whole other story, not to be written now. We were in love, and we lived 75 miles apart.

We wrote each other letters, sometimes several times a week, and used to microscopically dissect each others'/… Read full post »
JANUARY 12, 2009 11:32AM

Coincidental Juxtaposition

I was looking at the newswire on Salon a few minutes ago and saw the following two headlines, one directly under the other:

# Teen convicted of killing mother over video game
# Bush says nation's 'moral standing' intact

I didn't read the articles themselves-- I liked the arrangement just as it was.
JANUARY 10, 2009 5:49PM

Crackpot Theory

I'll just lead off with it: I believe that the economic downturn we've been experiencing in recent months will not last as long as many experts expect.

Why? Because the people of this country have a short attention span and will eventually get bored of it all.

Remember 9/11? Remember how for a/… Read full post »
JANUARY 7, 2009 5:31PM

In Restless Dreams

Though I left college back in 1972 without a degree, for the next 30 years or so I could count on every so often dreaming that I had a term paper due that I hadn't started yet, or that I had cut so many classes that I no longer had any… Read full post »
DECEMBER 26, 2008 11:20PM

Waves Upon the Ether

I like lots of different kinds of music. About two years ago, a local radio station in my town switched to an "Americana" format, playing folk music, bluegrass, alt-country, blues, and who-knows-what. It was perhaps a little bit twangier than I was typically used to, but I have adapted. The factRead full post »
DECEMBER 24, 2008 1:53AM

The Scare Lecture

It was about 8:30 AM on a Wednesday morning sometime in the spring of 1971. I (and probably about a hundred other bleary-eyed folks) sat in a large lecture hall drinking a can of Coke (nugget alert: I can't stand the taste of coffee and never drink it) while trying to/… Read full post »
DECEMBER 21, 2008 6:59PM


This topic goes hand-in-hand with my last entry, which was about memory. Inextricably linked with what I remember is the experience, usually distorted, of the passage of time. Here are some things that feel like they happened yesterday:
  • I first traveled across the Atlantic; real date: 1988.
  • I used one/
  • Read full post »
DECEMBER 13, 2008 9:25PM


Something tells me this subject is going to take several entries to cover. I think I'll start off with a nugget: I have managed to suppress or forget most of my memories of childhood prior to around age fourteen.

That stuff I don't miss.

What worries me these days is that some things… Read full post »
DECEMBER 4, 2008 5:35PM

The Sliding Board

My mother died this morning at 11:02 AM EST.

I had been expecting this ever since my father died in early November. As I mentioned in an earlier post, he was covering for her, trying to make her dementia less evident to family and acquaintances-- but she was in a decline before… Read full post »
In case you begin to think that all I think about is bad stuff, here's an abridged version of a comedy routine I did as part of a comedy benefit.

Intro (Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song):

Now listen to a story ‘bout a man named Mitch… Read full post »