Everything seemed to work out didn’t it?  It all just seemed to play out in three acts and the curtain closed on this part of the play and well, life goes on.

You write your poetry about the new man in your life and it’s beautiful, absolutely beautiful and yes it meant something for you to say that you still loved me.

You came to understand that you were not ready for you and me.  I find your strength and determination admirable, you were the most normal of the three, you do know that don’t you?

And yes even you Tenacious T you are watching your life unfold into your children and a good man, at least I guess so.  It’s what you keep telling me.  You said the other day, “He’s a great guy!”

I wonder just how honest we really are able to be when we are speaking to our ex’s.

And as for me, well I have to say that it all worked out didn’t it.  I am stronger and healthier and humbler and closer to the consciousness and I am well, better.

I wonder just how honest I can be about my ex’s.

What a ride.

What a trip.

As I have said, I am the new Andy Rooney on LSD. 

“You know have you ever wondered about how we can own so many different shirts but only wear two of them?  Maybe it’s because they smell like her, or you remember doing something together in that shirt or hell I don’t know, everything else is always dirty.”

Man oh man I used to be the king of the Magical Thinking.  I could manufacture entire universes and I could convince everyone around me that they were real, even if it was just for a few minutes, and, when they finally realized that I was just completely out of my wonderful mind, well it would make them angry, because, we all want to live in a Magical Kingdom when the truth is told.

“Have you ever found yourself so high that you forgot you were high?”

My last little bout with it didn’t go well though.  I kept finding myself wrapped around the flesh of women that were looking for something beautiful and well, I was looking for something that stopped all the crazy and the pain.  I didn’t know that at the time and because of that I pretty much just roared through people’s lives like a tornado with no destination in mind.

The first step after realizing that the Magical Thinking was making me bull goose loony was to close myself away from the rest of the world and to try and find solace and healing.  It wasn’t an easy time.

I also kept doors slightly ajar that just needed to be closed, hell they are still slightly ajar.  I can’t really figure out if there really was some profound meaning to all of this or if I was just on a three legged horse being chased by a runaway train that was going backwards.

It’s not easy walking away from a friendship just because it didn’t work as lovers.  For some it didn’t work for me and for some it didn’t work for them and sometimes the loving was all we really had beyond being friends.  The rest of the time we didn’t really get along all that well.

See friends can have spiritual, philosophical and intellectual differences but when we become lovers those same differences become battle lines, ammunition for argument and all the lovemaking in the world doesn’t take away the reality.

Of course, everyone seems to be doing so much better now.

I just wonder how honest we really are with each other.

The world changed one day didn’t it?  It completely turned itself upside down without us noticing, or at least I wasn’t paying attention, and here we are wrapped inside the letter in a bottle floating on the sand hoping for someone to read our message and save us from ourselves.

“I remember when I was a kid, not a lot, but I do remember parts of it.  See you don’t remember childhoods like mine all that well, only parts.”

So, here I am, a brand new me, a calmer, more reflective me; a saner me.

It always comes down to either you figure it out or it figures you out and either way can work against you or in your favor.

Did you ever wonder when you were tripping on LSD if what you were experiencing was actually the real world and your so called normal life was the real hallucination?”

I guess I did my part in this whole karmic field trip we all have been on for the last, oh five years, ten, maybe twenty, no it’s probably been more like forty, anyway.  My role in all of this was exactly what it was supposed to be.  Hell if I know? It makes it easier to sleep at night if I think that.

Aardvark Diggs always says, “I know how important hope is to you.”

I never really thought about it but I guess hope is a vital part of my life.

Is hope an illusion, magical thinking or just denial?

I hope I find out one day.

“Well that’s it for now.  So, let’s all just sit back and enjoy the break, the come down and get ready for the next peak.  Be safe.”

cool peace

hippy mike

love