Ah yes the holidays. That time of year when life and death coincide and both mean nothing at all. It’s that time when you find yourself thinking about nothing but what it might be like to not be around at all anymore.
Everyone has a philosophy of how God will be there or that we will come back as a small bug and find contentment, or, just become smoke from the cremation and mingle with the molecules of the universe. All in all it all comes down to the same thing. You are dead, or, if I were dead what would it really feel like?
Irony is the breath of the creator.
This was officially the first Christmas without dad. Oh he wasn’t here last year for Christmas but it was so close to Christmas when he died and all of us were in our own little life lesson matrixes that it just didn’t feel like the first Christmas, but this Christmas was the first Christmas without dad.
My grandson will be born either tonight or tomorrow; been a busy fucking year. My lesbian daughter and her married partner are having a beautiful baby boy named Wyeth. They will be perfect parents and he will be a perfect child.
John spent the holidays with his brother Nathan and Nathan’s son Tucker. We spent two days out in the wood in a cabin and selling things at the Caesar Creek flea market out of Cincinnati and then spent two days in a wonderfully decadent and very lavish hotel in Columbus for two days.
It’s strange when death becomes a family member. There is no way of knowing how the family will be when they get together and there has been enough time that the death in the family that is now a family member of its own visits.
My dear sweet disappearing mother who hasn’t had her hair done in a year had the best Christmas she has had in years. How do I know? She said so. All of us, all the boys and the boy’s families felt a certain comfort and relief this Christmas. The legacy of my grandfather Byrl and his family was leaving this world one human being at a time and the remaining foundation of the family was growing stronger and freer.
Oh there will always be those questions and eccentricities about each of us but I saw a difference in all of us, even Paul, the one brother that had been affected by dad’s death the most.
Time plays no games. Time just continues and there is no stopping it and we can sit and try to visualize what it really feels like to walk through that curtain and find ourselves on the other side but there really is no way of knowing. It really is the truest secret of life, so, living this life and making it the most beautiful of experiences seems to me to be the only thing that makes sense.
cool peace
hippy mike
love
Aardvark Handshake - Chapter One
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Comments
find yourself thinking about nothing
but what it might be like to not be around at all anymore. "
(so true)
two more exquisite aphorisms herein:
It’s strange when death becomes a family member.
and:Irony is the breath of the creator.
Dad has been gone for 6 christmases but the foundation
of our family, minus one brother (Paul!)
perhaps this yr began a new tradition.
cool honest reflections for those of us not
1.encompassed in familial lovefest or
2. on a buying frenzy.
Now, this post.
Hmmmm, I say to life, hhmmmmmmm.
Early congrats on the grandson. Wishing a long and healthy new life!
rate
"Time plays no games. Time just continues and there is no stopping it and we can sit and try to visualize what it really feels like to walk through that curtain and find ourselves on the other side but there really is no way of knowing. It really is the truest secret of life, so, living this life and making it the most beautiful of experiences seems to me to be the only thing that makes sense."
Well written, and beautifully stated. The very best to you, this year, and always.
Love and kiss for eternity,
GG