Annie and John ran back to the vee wee with towels wrapped around them.  The fire had become bright red coals.  A good fire for cooking but cooking was the last thing on John and Annie’s mind.  They left the fire to itself and went in and wrapped each other up in their bodies and heat.

Three hours later Annie and John were laying still wrapped together, Annie spoke, “Listen babe, why don’t we just stay here another day and take it easy.  Your little surprise will be there whenever we get there.  A day of doing nothing but sleeping in, eating, fishing and fucking will do us both some good.”

John laughed, “You know what, you are absolutely right.  Actually I think I’ll get up and do some fishing for a while now.  Want to join me?”
     Annie sighed, “You get started.  I’m going to lay here and think about getting up and fixing us something to eat.”

The mind wanders off to so many different places at so many different times all at the same time and all in different locations and never leaves the comfort of its shell.

There has been a voice in my head since the beginning of time.  It has always said, “Fuck the government!”  It was an easy voice to listen to because our governments were always doing something terrible to us, all over the world.  Of course now we don’t have the luxury of time or the illusion of tinted glasses.  Everything is quite right now and very, very clear.

Fuck the government.  Go ahead say it to yourself right now.  It’s a wonderful feeling how it rolls off the tongue and all the fears and bullshit that the government has tried to brainwash us with just flows from the body like a summer rain.  Yes we are cleansed. 

The rebirth is when we finally realize that God and government are the tools of oppression, the weapons of mass distraction that creates destruction, disillusion, depression, rage and sorrow.

I forget that he’s dead sometimes.  When I remember that he isn’t here anymore it’s usually when we are headed to Plain City to see mom and it was especially that way this time knowing that he never got to see his great grandson, which was what we were going to Plain City and mom’s for.

My daughter Sunflower and her married lesbian partner had to go to Martha’s Vineyard to get married because Ohio is backward and ignorant, which is where we live and then my daughter decided that they were going to have a baby and went through the donor program and they are the proud parents of Wyeth, Wyeth, my grandson.  Wow!

Seeing it all continue, made me think, “He’s really dead.  Dad has been dead for over a year now.”

It was a wonderful visit.  Wyeth is amazing.  He’s perfect.  He is absolutely perfect and through all the insanity and hell of my life and all the dumb shit that I have put people through to be able to sit there and hold my grandson and know that I was a grandpa made me love this amazing journey called life for the first time since well, since I held his mother as a newborn in my arms.

Yea, yea I read the horoscope, the Chinese horoscope, the tarot cards, the I-Ching and the numerology every morning and yea it says all kinds of things about what is going on and what I should look for and what I should steer away from and who to love and how to love and well, I don’t know why but it’s nice to live in that little illusion for a few moments.

It’s all perspective when you are crazy, even when you have a handle on the crazy, it’s still all perspective.  “How do I look?”

Nothing, absolutely nothing prepares us for that first significant passing of a loved one.  When the whole ocean of emotion crashes onto the shore and we realize the complexity of what it means to “not be here anymore” well this is the time when we finally understand the connection, the real consciousness, the infinite all and the universal now.

It makes the idea of fuck the government all that more the powerful.  Government and God mean nothing when it comes to the infinite all.  What matters is consciousness.

So many people, meaning well but not having any damn idea what they were talking about have always told me, “Well you are still alive because God still has something in store for you”.  Well, if I was to give that serious thought at this time in my life the answer would be so easy, “So that I could be sitting on a couch with my daughter and her partner holding my grandson.”

Life is life.

The uprising this time will be something truly beautiful and magnificently unique and colorful.  The ones that believe in equality, peace, love and consciousness will sing and dance and camp and they will speak their message and the criminals will do whatever they can to stop them.  They will hurt the beautiful ones, they will abuse them and even kill them but the message; the message will be heard.

Fuck the government.

When John finally realized that he was getting cold from sitting at the bank fishing he also immediately realized that he had been there for hours.  John had just been sitting there for hours, fishing and pulling catches out of the water and releasing them back in.  John also became aware that Annie was nowhere to be found.  She must have fallen back to sleep and never came out to join him fishing.

There was a cold in the air.

It felt like the breath of death.

cool peace

hippy mike

love

 Confusion

Adventure

Something more

Awake

Message in a broken bottle

Keeping the faith even when you don't believe

Dreaming of a dark place

Atmospheric dancing  

A distance running 

Head Shot 

A silent rage

 Secrets

Lies and...