Yes, indeedy – a company plans to sell an in-home sperm sample kit available at your local Wallgreens just about any day now.

I have several thoughts about this:

1. They claim it’s convenient and private. I’m sorry, but your wife handing you a box and saying “go produce a sample” is neither convenient nor private. Now, I’m the guy that had to leave samples down the hallway from my mother-in-law, so believe me, the private thing rings true — but I seriously doubt many men are going to be given the option of doing the deed on their own time. There’s going to be a tapping foot outside the door. Good luck, gentlemen.

2) “Results in 10 minutes.” I don’t know, this just screams crude comedy to me. Insert your joke here.

3) It’s possible that men are going to tell their wives the results are inconclusive so that they have to do it again.

4) “Easy to read results” is pasted across a ribbon on the box. Oh, right, because if there were words with more than three syllables, men would start grunting like an ape and throw feces at the wall?

5) There’s now something in the drugstore that’s more embarrassing for men to buy than tampons.

But really, I guess this is a cool development – maybe couple’s can narrow down what their issue is quicker and cheaper. And that’s a good thing.