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SEPTEMBER 16, 2008 10:43AM

Sarah Palin, Lipstick and the Bible: Beware the Wages of Sin

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Now that lipstick has become the symbol of the Sarah Palin campaign, perhaps we should look more closely at the what the Bible and Christianity has had to say about this fundamental cosmetological device.

It is clear that the Bible isn’t very happy about cosmetics in general, condemning in several passages women who “paint their faces.” 

For example:

“And furthermore, that ye have sent for men to come from far, unto whom a messenger was sent; and, lo, they came: for whom thou didst wash thyself, paintedst thy eyes, and deckedst thyself with ornaments…” (Ezekiel 23:40)

“And when thou art spoiled, what wilt thou do? Though thou clothest thyself with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold, though thou rentest thy face with painting, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair; thy lovers will despise thee, they will seek thy life.” (1 Timothy 2:9)

“And when Jehu was come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it; and she painted her face, and tired her head, and looked out at a window. And as Jehu entered in at the gate, she said, Had Zimri peace who slew his master? And he lifted up his face to the window, and said, Who is on my side? who? And there looked out to him two or three eunuchs. And he said, Throw her down. And they threw her down: and some of her blood was sprinkled on the wall, and on the horses: and he trode her under foot. And when he was come in, he did eat and drink, and said Go, see now this cursed woman, and bury her for she is a king’s daughter. And they went to bury her: but they found no more of her than the skull, and the feet, and the palms of her hands. Wherefore they came again, and told him. And he said, This is the word of the Lord which he spake by his servant Elijah the Tishbite, saying, In the portion of Jezreel shall dogs eat the flesh of Jezebel: And the carcass of Jezebel shall be as dung upon the face of the field in the portion of Jezreel; so that they shall not say, This is Jezebel.” (2 Kings 9:30-37)

“The whole city shall flee for the noise of the horsemen and bowmen; they shall go into thickets, and climb up upon the rocks: every city shall be forsaken, and not a man dwell therein. And when thou art spoiled, what wilt thou do? Though thou clothest thyself with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold, though thou rentest thy face with painting, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair; thy lovers will despise thee, they will seek thy life. For I have heard a voice as of a woman in travail, and the anguish as of her than bringeth forth her first child, the voice of the daughter of Zion, that bewaileth herself, that spreadeth her hands saying, Woe is me now! for my souls is wearied because of murderers.” (Jeremiah 4:29-31)

The Great Harlot is described in The Book of Revelation as “arrayed in purple and scarlet, and decked with gold and precious stone and pearls”: 

“And he carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness: and I saw a woman sitting upon a scarlet-colored beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns. And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet, and decked with gold and precious stone and pearls, having in her hand a golden cup full of abominations, even the unclean things of her fornication, on her forehead a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF THE HARLOTS AND OF THE ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.” (Revelation 17:3-5)

While I’m not a Bible scholar, with an outfit like that, I think we can assume that she was wearing lipstick as well.

If you believe that the Bible is the word of God, I don’t see anyway around it: Lipstick is sin, and the wages of sin are death.

As the late Herbert W. Armstrong, founder of the Worldwide Church of God and one of the fathers of modern American evangelism, taught his flock in Truth about MakeUp:

“[T]he custom of using PAINT to color and to change the looks of the face, to make it appear ‘prettier’, originated in harlotry… It was always used to seduce and lure men into LUST… In every single case where painting the face is mentioned in your Bible, GOD LABELS THE WOMAN A WHORE! Is that shocking? Yes, but TRUE! Painting the face is never once mentioned in connection with a virtuous woman! How does God label You? Every woman should ask herself that question.”

(In Sarah Palin’s case, the lipstick on her face might well be an especially egregious sin, if the story reported in Wonkette is true and Palin’s glossy red-state lips are the product of a tattoo. Wonkette calls it “gross,” but apparently God would use stronger language.)

Armstrong exhorted women who wanted to be SAVED to wash that evil lipstick from their lips:

“Every woman who wants that deceitfulness and wickedness removed from her heart is going to remove that physical colored dirt from her face once and for all! Those yielded to the CHRIST who paid such a PRICE for this very cleansing will need no more. Those not so yielded would not repent and let the precious blood of Christ cleanse them, and their faces, though I write ten thousand pages! God lays down the LAW. God tells us WHAT IS SIN, and He tells us that this vain use of facial makeup is SIN! But God leaves it to YOU to decide whether to sin! And never forget the PENALTY for this sin is DEATH for eternity in a Lake of FIRE! It is truly, an AWFUL — a FRIGHTFUL FATE. YOU are WARNED! You are a free moral agent. That decision is now YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! What are you going to do with it?

Indeed.

Definitely something every Christian woman should think about before she lifts that little phallus in the air — or to her lips.

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Don't forget Mathew:

"And as Gene loved Jezebel, he rocked the house with his mojo stick, and said unto the Lord, 'Mine is a righteous beat, and by my will, thine people will go forth and multiply, after many Red Bulls, and a few Tequila Shooters."
(Mathew 3:24-31)

in a letter to the Corinthians about leather car seats.
And don't forget what Phil has to say: "She who wearith too many rings on her fingers, bells on her toes, and tattoos on her lower spine shall not swim with the porpoise and fly with the flamingoes to the great salt marsh."
Herbert Armstrong, holy shit. That lying old shit was crazy. Personally I like to quote "Woman, obey your husband". Can't cite chapter and verse, but when I mention it to my wife I wake up with a throbbing headache worse than a hangover.
So you are saying that Esther is going to hell? How 'bout a balanced analysis of the scriptures.