Unlike most of the people who are members of Open Salon, I haven’t written anything since getting out of high school. I've never lacked opinions. I have plenty of those, but I never considered putting them down on paper. I just viewed them as my own personal thoughts and couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to read them. I can barely get people to talk to me in public so why would someone waste their time reading about what‘s on my abnormal mind?

Anyway, last summer I was pissed about something and wrote a letter to the editor of our local paper. To my great surprise they actually published it. (Yes, I am a published author now.)

I don’t recall the subject, but I think it had something to do with the upcoming elections and how baffled I was that the most hateful letters to the editors always seemed to be written by Republicans and how that seemed to go against their religious convictions. Writing was suddenly cool to me.

During the next few months, I spent a lot of time flipping between MSNBC (nodding my head) and Fox News (shaking my head in total disbelief). I know, I know, but I like to know what the other side is thinking and I found out they don't spend a lot of time on the subject. Seems they believe it's easier to make stuff up than actually report the facts. Whatever.

Joan Walsh had been a regular guest on MSNBC and I really liked her message, though I hadn’t heard of her before. She was always introduced as Joan Walsh from Salon.com, so curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on the site for a little visit.

After reading a few articles, I noticed the Open Salon button and well, here I am. I've been badly bitten by the writing bug. I get the stitches out next Tuesday.

I am shamelessly hooked on this place and do enjoy writing, but I also enjoy reading and commenting on the never ending variety of content. You people are really something and I’ve learned so much from all of you, though I will be the first to admit that I have a long way to go as a writer.

I’ve also learned a lot about what not to do as a writer and that brings us to today’s subject.

Below you will find some snippets from newspaper articles and ads that a friend of mine recently sent me. I’m as guilty as anyone when it comes to not proof reading my comments and they often make me cringe when I read them back. I know I’m not the only one. I read your comments, too.

Let’s face it, we are all flawed and make mistakes, but some of these bloopers make me wonder if these newspaper staffs aren’t a little short handed in the proofreading department. Take a look and let me know what you think.

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I'm no mathlete, but I'm guessing that 50% off isn't that much different than half price. I could be wrong.                   

I'm also happy for this student's Dad, but I don't know if I would be happy enough to put it in the local paper.

I always suspect as much. Now I know. Nike doesn't lie.

I still don't understand how Wall Street failed us with people like this in charge.

Menapause also drops off after age eighty. Hard to argue with statistics.

 This headline is just wrong on so many levels.

 Police briefs and neighborhood watches are important to a town's safety. Keep up the good work fellas.

Who says camouflage doesn't work?

 You can't make this stuff up.

Step aside Sherlocke, there's a new sleuthe in town.

Glad the Feds are on top of this one. This is good to know.

Debra doesn't always have time to get all gussied up for shopping.

I don't know if I should go for the brand new tires with 500 miles on them or the headstone. I suppose I could change my name to Grady. I have tires. I don't have a headstone.

I wonder if that was covered on the bar exam?

Jeez lady, what are you so mad about? We made a correction didn't we?

 I'm broke too, but I don't spend my last dime advertising it.

 I'm wondering what the expected to find? The subtitle says, "We had no idea anyone was buried there." Seems a shame to build a nice mausoleum like that and not bury anyone in it, but what do I know.

 Good thing to remember. I'll staple that to my forehead for future reference.

 I hope weapons were listed on the search warrant. Were the Feds hoping to find puppies or bunnies?

 I wonder if this guy is a plumber?

 Another crime solved plus seven years bad luck.

 Nobody can be this stupid, can they?

 Here kitty, kitty!

Maybe it's time the Learning Center hired some new teachers. 

"I don't need no steenking treatment," said the duck as he stomped away.

 I love that game!

 Just like new! You'll get used to the smell, I promise.

 Hurry, Hurry, Hurry! Get your old people before we run out!

 I love to travel, but I'm gonna need some up front money for this trip.

 Not my doctor.

It's mine and you can't have it. Nanner, nanner, nan-ner!

  Ibidee, ibidee, ibidee, That's All, Folks!