Now there goes something you don't see everyday. It's guys like this that give bikers a bad name. No. You can't make stories like this up. No one would believe you.
Florida is known for having some of the most bizarre crimes in the country. From prostitute serial killers and animal mutilations to Voodoo murders and drug crimes, we’ve got them all. Sometimes I think they should pass a State Law for everyone to wear a hat outdoors so their brains don’t get fried.
You can now add one J.Dante Krauss, 45, to the list of bizarre Florida criminals. On Tuesday evening he managed to get a DUI for riding his 2006 Silver Kawasaki motorcycle up I-75 while both drunk and naked. That’s right. I said drunk and naked.
On a personal level, I can say that I do like a nice alcohol buzz on occasion and I love to ride motorcycles. I like being naked too, but I can’t say that I have ever considered combining those three things into a single event. I’ve always thought of them to be better enjoyed separately. I’m just not that much of a thrill seeker, but if you want to talk about non-stop thrills and high speed adventures, then this is your guy!
A Marion County Sheriff saw Dante getting on the expressway on a motorcycle and could have sworn the man was naked, so naturally he followed the guy. Said nekked man gets off at the next exit and proceeds to run a red light for which he was immediately pulled over and that’s when the fun starts.
“Where you been?”
“I don’t know.”
“You been drinking?”
“Uh, maybe a little.”
“I’m just trying to figure out why you don’t have any clothes on.”
“Me, too.”
Krausse later said the last thing he remembered was going to Hooters. I wonder what they are putting in the wings up that way. Maybe they should come with a disclaimer.
“Warning: May cause diners to ride motorcycles naked.”
Krausse was hauled off on his fifth DUI arrest and given a crisp clean striped shirt with matching pants to cover his nekkedness. I expect to see an ad in the classifieds for a 2006 Silver Kawasaki in the paper any day now.
“Only rode one time naked. Must sell.”
I'm heading on up to Hooters. See ya there!
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Comments
Now you know what's going to happen; some surfer dude will think he can't let the Floridians have all the fun.
Rated by a Californian who prefers clothed sobriety while driving.
Rated.
Personally, I can see a little bit of injustice in being busted for
not wearing clothes. Drunk driving ain't cool though.
Funny stuff
: - 0
“Me, too.”
~ROTFLMAO~ Best line ever!!
"Sir do you know why you're naked?"
"Not a clue sir!"
~sheesh~
(it used to be such a sleepy, nice little town)
Reason #162 why I don't ever want to be a cop.
Oh, and can you imagine what would have happened had the idiot wiped out?
Thumbed with an EWWWWWWWWWWWW.......... I wouldn't even consider buying the bike if I could put a new seat on it.
There was a 26 bike pile up on I-5 in Oregon this weekend but no one was naked. Drunk, maybe.
I agree with Monte it sure does bring new meaning to riding without protection.
I mean I can see being on a motorcycle naked (people of course) but now while driving.
{take two}
A whole new meaning to "ass fault".
{take three}
A whole new meaning to "nuts".
{take four}
A whole new meaning to "tailgating an asshole".
Besides we gave you all this computer stuff you're doing, and we can take it away, too. Somehow.
Miko, sorry to disappoint you. ;-)
Shiral, being clothed in public is generally a good idea.
Nanner, I can't think of everything.
Thoth, I ALWAYS agree with Cartouche.
Trig, We just blame it on the sun.
Femme, Cartouche said that first. I just agreed with her.
O'Really, I also read Verbal's posts and had I known about them before hand I would have given this more time to breath before posting it, but you know what they say about timing. I don't have any.
Tink, I know! Maybe not the best answer for that situation.
Bill, My sister's boyfriend is a cop and some of the stories he tells me are outrageous. I've wiped out before and road rash is no fun. I see so many riding around down here in flip flops, tank tops and shorts and I just think, You'll pay for that one day. And yes, a new seat would surely be in order.
Ardee, Almost missed you! I love riding around the Ocals national forest. Just incredible and the people are really nice. This guy was just a jackhole that gives a town a bad name. A REALLY bad name.
No Frills, Balls of steel and brains of oatmeal.
Monte, I know! No helmet! What was he thinking?
Cappy, 26 bike pile up! That's easier to do than people think. Just another reason I prefer to ride alone or in a really small group. One idiot and the domino effect takes over. Not all riders know how to ride.
Walter, If I wee a novelist, I would have a hard time leaving this one out.
FireGirl, This is pretty normal news fare for down here. People get run out of their home states and head south to Florida.
Trudge, This cat would look like one big raspberry.
Steve, You are hilarious! I pronounce you The King of the one liners!
Bill,You are right up there with Steve Blevins!
Cindy Ross, Cindy Ross, I don't know if they are a sponsor or not, but I recall that diclaimer about Ambien could make you do things you don't remember. I wonder if that would hold up in court?
Lisa, I keep those plastic gloves with me at all times. I also wear a hat when I'm out in the sun. ;-)
bahHHM, I couldn't post about all the weird stuff I read in the paper.
MAWB, I know! What was he thinking?!!
VR, I agree. Ugh. PS. Loved your latest post.
Roy, A helmet can't protect a person from his own stupidity. Hehehe.
Buffy, But, they have the best sauce!
Zuma, Please don't take our computer stuff!! (What computer stuff?)
Scanner, This guy is probably to stupid to attract a mate. But then it IS Florida, so who knows?
“Uh, maybe a little.”
“I’m just trying to figure out why you don’t have any clothes on.”
“Me, too.”
Dante', somethin' not addin' up muh friend and you got some splainin' to do!
Rated for making me laugh on a MOnday. Hard to do.
Fave: "On a personal level, I can say that I do like a nice alcohol buzz on occasion and I love to ride motorcycles. I like being naked too, but I can’t say that I have ever considered combining those three things into a single event."