Now there goes something you don't see everyday. It's guys like this that give bikers a bad name. No. You can't make stories like this up. No one would believe you.
Florida is known for having some of the most bizarre crimes in the country. From prostitute serial killers and animal mutilations to Voodoo murders and drug crimes, we’ve got them all. Sometimes I think they should pass a State Law for everyone to wear a hat outdoors so their brains don’t get fried.
You can now add one J.Dante Krauss, 45, to the list of bizarre Florida criminals. On Tuesday evening he managed to get a DUI for riding his 2006 Silver Kawasaki motorcycle up I-75 while both drunk and naked. That’s right. I said drunk and naked.
On a personal level, I can say that I do like a nice alcohol buzz on occasion and I love to ride motorcycles. I like being naked too, but I can’t say that I have ever considered combining those three things into a single event. I’ve always thought of them to be better enjoyed separately. I’m just not that much of a thrill seeker, but if you want to talk about non-stop thrills and high speed adventures, then this is your guy!
A Marion County Sheriff saw Dante getting on the expressway on a motorcycle and could have sworn the man was naked, so naturally he followed the guy. Said nekked man gets off at the next exit and proceeds to run a red light for which he was immediately pulled over and that’s when the fun starts.
“Where you been?”
“I don’t know.”
“You been drinking?”
“Uh, maybe a little.”
“I’m just trying to figure out why you don’t have any clothes on.”
Krausse later said the last thing he remembered was going to Hooters. I wonder what they are putting in the wings up that way. Maybe they should come with a disclaimer.
“Warning: May cause diners to ride motorcycles naked.”
Krausse was hauled off on his fifth DUI arrest and given a crisp clean striped shirt with matching pants to cover his nekkedness. I expect to see an ad in the classifieds for a 2006 Silver Kawasaki in the paper any day now.
“Only rode one time naked. Must sell.”
I'm heading on up to Hooters. See ya there!