Michael Rodgers

Michael Rodgers
Location
North Port, Florida, Proud Member of the US of A
Birthday
April 03
Title
Master of the voices in my head
Company
Every once in a while

Michael Rodgers's Links

Salon.com
OCTOBER 14, 2009 7:04PM

Has The World Gone Crazy, Or Is It Just Me?

Rate: 53 Flag
                                                     Crazy man

I’ve been around a bit. Not so much travel wise, but as far as life experiences are concerned, I’ve had some doosies. Some experiences, I wouldn’t trade for the world, while others I wouldn’t wish on Rush Limbaugh (Okay, that's a lie). One thing I’ve noticed with complete clarity is that people are crazy. Another thing I’ve noticed is they’ll fight over just about anything.

In May, a 20 year old kid in Calgary was killed following a dominos tournament at a community center. Who knew dominos could be lethal? I wouldn’t think you should have to arm yourself to go to your local community center to play dominos, but apparently I’m wrong.

A 54 year old guy in Michigan was arrested after smacking the fun out of a lady that refused to sell him Park Place and Boardwalk while playing a game of Monopoly. It's like, Dude, It’s not real property, you know.

Some homeless guy was recently acquitted by a jury in San Francisco after he whacked another homeless guy in the head with a skateboard.
What where they arguing about? Particle physics, of course.

In Connecticut, Six women were arrest for assaulting another woman who was singing karaoke at a local bar. It seems they didn’t like her performance that much, but a gang beating because the girl can't sing? I say don't give Simon Cowell any new ideas or he will launch another reality show.

When did people start taking having a little fun so seriously? It’s not life or death, or anything so important as, like say...........playing golf or Bingo.

Other times the news just gets weird. There is a Priest in South Florida suing for the custody of a child he conceived with a stripper….uh…. I mean exotic dancer. Seems they’ve had an on again off again (there’s a joke in there somewhere)  affair for seven years. He met her at a Club called Porky’s. You can’t make this stuff up.

In another recent event out in Wyoming, (while we are talking about Wyoming, I'd just like to say, fuck you, Dick Cheney) an eleven year old boy in a large SUV led cops on a fifty mile chase that reached speeds of a 100 mph. He ditched the rig and dove into a lake to escape, but the coppers always get their boy. Did I mention the kid was hammered? Fifth graders shouldn’t let other fifth graders steal SUVs and drive drunk.

Then there are things that happen that are strange, but go well beyond the description of sad. Up in Jacksonville, the police were called to a 71 year old woman’s house because some relatives hadn’t heard from her in weeks. It took a cadaver dog to find her body amongst the garbage in her home that was estimated at eight feet deep. I almost cried when I read about that one.

I shouldn't leave out blue collar criminals that aspire to become white collar criminals. I could go on forever about the masterminds in the criminal world. I won't, but I will mention this particular up and comer.

This one is about some young dude working the docks at Roadway Express in Dallas. He somehow managed to get his hands on a check made out to the company so, he made himself a cheapo photo I.D. and headed up to the local Western Union office to cash his new found bonus check. What name did he use on the I.D.? Mr. Roadway V. Express, of course. Genius, I tells ya! The guy should be brought up on terminal stupidity charges.

Even President Obama has a crazy streak in him. After all, didn’t he just attack the moon? Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure sane people don’t bomb unarmed planets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      

 

This old man and me, were at the bar and we
Were having us some beers and swapping I don't cares
Talking politics, blonde and red-head chicks
Old dogs and new tricks and habits we ain't kicked

We talked about God's grace and all the hell we raised
Then I heard the ol' man say
God is great, beer is good and people are crazy

He said I fought two wars,
Been married and divorced
What brings you to Ohio?
He said Damned if I know
We talked an hour or two
About every girl we knew
What all we put ‘em through
Like two old boys will do

We pondered life an death
He light a cigarette
He said These damn things will kill me yet
But God is great, beer is good and people are crazy

Last call its 2am, I said goodbye to him
I never talked to him again
Then one sunny day, I saw the old man's face
Front page obituary, he was a millionaree
He left his fortune to
Some guy he barely knew,
His kids were mad as hell
But me, I'm doing well

And I dropped by today,
To just say thanks and pray,
I left a six-pack right there on his grave
And I said;
God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.

God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.

God is great, beer is good,

 

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Bombing unarmed planets is FAR preferable to bombing armed ones. Think about it.
Rated for good thoughts and great lyrics.
Suddenly, I feel more sanerer.........
As I just wrote on Rics site, If we killed all the dumbass people, You an me and you would be fishing buddies!~
If they wanted to bomb cheese, why didn't they just bomb Switzerland?
R
..."bombing an unarmed planet!" Classic!
Oh my. I'm going to Michaels to buy a giant palm frond, so I can brandish it as I rob a liquor store, yelling "gimme fitty dollah!" A man really did this. It's on vide.
We still get the daily kids fighting over shoes in ATL. We just live in a messed up world.
Dude, people have always been this crazy, it just "in the open" now.

Seriously, all this over a board game? Sing along at a bar? People need to grow the fuck up and be real!

Rated!
Half way through writing this, I thought I'd change it to crazy criminals or stupid criminals, but then I got lazy.
Maybe bombing the moon isn't so crazy after all. In fact, it's a pretty good place for all our weapons. Hard to get to them up there.
Zuma, then all we would have is palm fronds to rob our liquor stores with!
Totally loved it! Living crazy out loud now! (Rated).
They wanted to get some moon water; me. I stick with Poland spring. But, I never sing karaoke knowing the Connecticut contingent of the lunatic fringe. ~R~
@wsftcat: what's a drunken smut spree? can i come next time?

mike: dude. how did you know i needed this right this sec? i was just yelling 'how can that guy BE that f***ing stupid' -- and you answered my question. not about *that* guy but, you know.
It's a crazy world out there! Probably too many people living too close to each other...like rats in a cage. And it's getting worse. It won't be 'News of the Weird' anymore, it will just be normal. Did we just bomb Switzerland? What's this about cheese? I can't afford any more bombs... And I don't know about the 'God is great' part, but Beer is good!
Michael: The Roadway Express guy reminds of the brilliant fellow in Tennessee, I think, who robbed a gas station and ran off into the woods at dusk. However, he was wearing those nifty sneakers that light up with every step. The cops showed up and just watched the lights in the woods until they shot his stupid ass deader than Caesar when he didn't stop on command.

This post and my latest together confirm that America's collective I.Q. is falling fast.
Obama bombed an Al Qaeda training camp on the Moon. Just one bomb, because those terrorists are only 1/6th as threatening as the ones in Pakistan.
I really like the one about the priest. That's pretty funny. Gonna be a telenovela soon, I think.
These are great, unbelievable that people are so dumb. This is another example: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a bank nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. That's so sad about the woman's house in Jax though!
Hey, we had a guy in Philly rob a convenience store. Cleaned out the cash register at gunpoint. He'd started his robbery by casually asking for beer... they carded him and he gave his ID! He left it on the counter when he ran.
Funny part is---this is a good representation of EVERY DAY!
These crazy things happen all over the country. The stupid criminal thing is what I should have ran with, but how do you stop such a post once it gets rolling? Way too much material to leave anything out. I'm afraid the post could go on forever.
Great insight on life...in America. Andy Heizeler beat me to the punch.

Thoughtful, clever and witty as always, Michael.

Rated.
"One thing I’ve noticed with complete clarity is that people are crazy. Another thing I’ve noticed is they’ll fight over just about anything."

Nailed it. Or as Frank Zappa once said, "Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side." I've got to admit though, I've seen more than one karaoke singer who I've wanted to slap the s@#t out of.
Gee, thanks for the dose of reality. I'll wash it down with some cyanide.
WOW. I don't know what else to say.
Rated.
I love that song... It always makes me think of the things we forget about in life and makes me smile.
This is some crazy shit.. I was really laughing my ass off over these. Thanks for the laughs..
Loved your post but really loved the song. You have the best taste in music.
Lunar Effects make people looney mon, explains the assault no?
I love weird science, and... RRR
the world is crazy... loco... ever seen the dumb criminals site? hilarious. (http://www.dumbcriminals.com/ )
boomer, Thanks for the site. We recently had a guy go for sentencing on a petty charge and forgot that he had crack in his pocket, so when they searched him down at the jail before doing his week or what ever it was, they had to arrest him all over again. It's not easy staying out of jail for some of these guys.
an ass kicking for bad Karaoke... been in a few bars and wanted to do that! I feel sorry for the chick who went up after her... cause you know she was sweating bullets! lol..you better sing real good bitch!
rated for the smiles
This is rich in crazy - in a good way. That song? We should all be so lucky . . .
Dude, it's just you.

BTW, the stripper wasn't that good looking. You'd think a man of the cloth could do better.
Crazy stuff! This made it all come together for me Mike
"(while we are talking about Wyoming, I'd just like to say, fuck you, Dick Cheney) ". LMAO... great song too man
"Who knew dominos could be lethal? "

Oh my yes!! Very competitive!!!

Battle Ship too. YOU SANK MY BATTLE SHIP!! BANG! BANG! ;)
It's just you and me Mike.
rated
Were we ever not crazy? We just get to read about it now on blogs.
::sigh::
Were we ever not crazy? We just get to read about it now on blogs.
::sigh::
Best to bomb deserted places. I've never heard that song of Billy Currington before. Loved it.
It would all be hilarious if there weren't deaths involved... thanks for chronicling all this. I blame it on the promotion and praise of outright stupidity the last 8 years - it will take us another 10 to shake it off.
Aww, why you gotta make fun of me?
Hey, Mike, the post is good but Billy Currington has a GREAT country voice. Why have I not heard of him????? I will have to see if he has any albums, etc. Are you familiar with his work beyond this great song?

Monte
I liked the kid who broke into a house about a month back who logged onto Facebook on the home computer but forgot to log out before leaving...hope checking on your Farmville status was worth it, dude.
Mike: I give you credit for putting me on to a new country voice that is right up there with some of the great ones. I am putting together a Playlist and will post it. Thanks so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monte
Thanks again for all the great comments!. You folks really rock my world.

Monte, I don't know much about Currington, but I know this is an instant classic. Can't wait for the play list!
Rated. Just wondered which of those folks you mentioned write for OS>
They are going to be soooo sorry when they try that on Mars.
Michael Rodgers. This will be shared.
I'll give this to the White House physician?
If You want a answer to the title question?
Rogers!
Bonkers!
Play tuba!
Hop in a tub!
Take off Ya pants?
or,
Wash britches in Ya tub.
That's if Ya conservative.
I wonder? In hell? Buy AC?
The air conditioners is cool.
Good post and good song. You are right about all of it (except the beer).
I hope the priest is trying to use the fact that he's a priest in the custody battle.

"I mean, c'mon, your honor, I'm a frickin' PRIEST! I got the BIG GUY vouching for me, yaknowwhadImsayin'? Plus, kids friggin' LOVE priests!"
Great song, Michael -- it meets or exceeds my songwriting standard "I wish I'da wrote it". I heard it for the first time on the local country radio station -- there isn't any other kind around these parts -- and I was amazed it ever got on the air in the Bible Belt.

As for your suggestion about collective insanity, I refer you to my previous post in which I provided a test to determine just how crazy you are:

Are You Nuts
.
Great to be smiling at this...but goodness, let's hope what they have is not contagious.
good stuff MR!

obama was liberating the moon. (just to get that straight)

(wtf were they thinking???)
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" Ain't it the truth. I'm sitting here on the 'sane' end of the bell curve, feeling downright smug.
"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it” Pope John II (I think).
So enjoyed this artist. Never heard of him. Got here by way of Monte.
Thanks again for all the comments. I'm working on something else so time is a bit short right now.

Tom, I missed that one, I'll go check it out. Love your work.
That's one of my favorite songs right now. It goes well with
"I gave up smokin, drinkin and women
and it was the worst 15 minutes of my life."

;)

rated.
Great rant, Michael. My favorite section of my local paper is the "Back Page" which has a weekly nearly half page on Sunday dedicated to "News of the Weird".
But these just go to show how "uncivilized" our "civilization" is.
Rated
Nothing more I can say but No, you can't make this stuff up!