I’ve been around a bit. Not so much travel wise, but as far as life experiences are concerned, I’ve had some doosies. Some experiences, I wouldn’t trade for the world, while others I wouldn’t wish on Rush Limbaugh (Okay, that's a lie). One thing I’ve noticed with complete clarity is that people are crazy. Another thing I’ve noticed is they’ll fight over just about anything.
In May, a 20 year old kid in Calgary was killed following a dominos tournament at a community center. Who knew dominos could be lethal? I wouldn’t think you should have to arm yourself to go to your local community center to play dominos, but apparently I’m wrong.
A 54 year old guy in Michigan was arrested after smacking the fun out of a lady that refused to sell him Park Place and Boardwalk while playing a game of Monopoly. It's like, Dude, It’s not real property, you know.
Some homeless guy was recently acquitted by a jury in San Francisco after he whacked another homeless guy in the head with a skateboard.
What where they arguing about? Particle physics, of course.
In Connecticut, Six women were arrest for assaulting another woman who was singing karaoke at a local bar. It seems they didn’t like her performance that much, but a gang beating because the girl can't sing? I say don't give Simon Cowell any new ideas or he will launch another reality show.
When did people start taking having a little fun so seriously? It’s not life or death, or anything so important as, like say...........playing golf or Bingo.
Other times the news just gets weird. There is a Priest in South Florida suing for the custody of a child he conceived with a stripper….uh…. I mean exotic dancer. Seems they’ve had an on again off again (there’s a joke in there somewhere) affair for seven years. He met her at a Club called Porky’s. You can’t make this stuff up.
In another recent event out in Wyoming, (while we are talking about Wyoming, I'd just like to say, fuck you, Dick Cheney) an eleven year old boy in a large SUV led cops on a fifty mile chase that reached speeds of a 100 mph. He ditched the rig and dove into a lake to escape, but the coppers always get their boy. Did I mention the kid was hammered? Fifth graders shouldn’t let other fifth graders steal SUVs and drive drunk.
Then there are things that happen that are strange, but go well beyond the description of sad. Up in Jacksonville, the police were called to a 71 year old woman’s house because some relatives hadn’t heard from her in weeks. It took a cadaver dog to find her body amongst the garbage in her home that was estimated at eight feet deep. I almost cried when I read about that one.
I shouldn't leave out blue collar criminals that aspire to become white collar criminals. I could go on forever about the masterminds in the criminal world. I won't, but I will mention this particular up and comer.
This one is about some young dude working the docks at Roadway Express in Dallas. He somehow managed to get his hands on a check made out to the company so, he made himself a cheapo photo I.D. and headed up to the local Western Union office to cash his new found bonus check. What name did he use on the I.D.? Mr. Roadway V. Express, of course. Genius, I tells ya! The guy should be brought up on terminal stupidity charges.
Even President Obama has a crazy streak in him. After all, didn’t he just attack the moon? Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure sane people don’t bomb unarmed planets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This old man and me, were at the bar and we
Were having us some beers and swapping I don't cares
Talking politics, blonde and red-head chicks
Old dogs and new tricks and habits we ain't kicked
We talked about God's grace and all the hell we raised
Then I heard the ol' man say
God is great, beer is good and people are crazy
He said I fought two wars,
Been married and divorced
What brings you to Ohio?
He said Damned if I know
We talked an hour or two
About every girl we knew
What all we put ‘em through
Like two old boys will do
We pondered life an death
He light a cigarette
He said These damn things will kill me yet
But God is great, beer is good and people are crazy
Last call its 2am, I said goodbye to him
I never talked to him again
Then one sunny day, I saw the old man's face
Front page obituary, he was a millionaree
He left his fortune to
Some guy he barely knew,
His kids were mad as hell
But me, I'm doing well
And I dropped by today,
To just say thanks and pray,
I left a six-pack right there on his grave
And I said;
God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.
God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.
God is great, beer is good,

Salon.com
Comments
Rated for good thoughts and great lyrics.
R
Seriously, all this over a board game? Sing along at a bar? People need to grow the fuck up and be real!
Rated!
Maybe bombing the moon isn't so crazy after all. In fact, it's a pretty good place for all our weapons. Hard to get to them up there.
Zuma, then all we would have is palm fronds to rob our liquor stores with!
mike: dude. how did you know i needed this right this sec? i was just yelling 'how can that guy BE that f***ing stupid' -- and you answered my question. not about *that* guy but, you know.
This post and my latest together confirm that America's collective I.Q. is falling fast.
Thoughtful, clever and witty as always, Michael.
Rated.
Nailed it. Or as Frank Zappa once said, "Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side." I've got to admit though, I've seen more than one karaoke singer who I've wanted to slap the s@#t out of.
Rated.
This is some crazy shit.. I was really laughing my ass off over these. Thanks for the laughs..
I love weird science, and... RRR
rated for the smiles
BTW, the stripper wasn't that good looking. You'd think a man of the cloth could do better.
"(while we are talking about Wyoming, I'd just like to say, fuck you, Dick Cheney) ". LMAO... great song too man
Oh my yes!! Very competitive!!!
Battle Ship too. YOU SANK MY BATTLE SHIP!! BANG! BANG! ;)
rated
::sigh::
::sigh::
Monte
Monte
Monte, I don't know much about Currington, but I know this is an instant classic. Can't wait for the play list!
I'll give this to the White House physician?
If You want a answer to the title question?
Rogers!
Bonkers!
Play tuba!
Hop in a tub!
Take off Ya pants?
or,
Wash britches in Ya tub.
That's if Ya conservative.
I wonder? In hell? Buy AC?
The air conditioners is cool.
"I mean, c'mon, your honor, I'm a frickin' PRIEST! I got the BIG GUY vouching for me, yaknowwhadImsayin'? Plus, kids friggin' LOVE priests!"
As for your suggestion about collective insanity, I refer you to my previous post in which I provided a test to determine just how crazy you are:
Are You Nuts
.
obama was liberating the moon. (just to get that straight)
(wtf were they thinking???)
"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it” Pope John II (I think).
Tom, I missed that one, I'll go check it out. Love your work.
"I gave up smokin, drinkin and women
and it was the worst 15 minutes of my life."
;)
rated.
But these just go to show how "uncivilized" our "civilization" is.
Rated