Everyone knows that pumpkins can't handle their liquor, so don't let this happen at your Halloween party. And remember. Friends don't let pumpkins drive drunk.

I'll let this one speak for itself.

Bubba and Cooter.

Bubba and Cooter are a couple of hopeless romantics and do quite well with the ladies. Here is a list of some of their favorite pick-up lines.

  1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

  2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea I can't hold it in.

 4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.
         
 6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

 8) Man - 'Fat Penguin!' Woman - 'WHAT?'
 Man - 'I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.'

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

 

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room...

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

 

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'Dear Lord: Thank you for bringing me

 

to Timmy ' s house, and not to Michael

 

Vick ' s --  AMEN! '

                   

                   

 

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A little animal humor never hurt anyone...except the animals.

 

                          

 

 

Technical difficulties.

                          

 

  It's like this, Doc..........

                          

 

 

 

                 

 

 

                          

 

 

                          

 

 

                         

 

 

 

                         

 

 

                         

 

       

 

 

 

 

  It's just a butterfly until you take a closer look. Gross.

          

 

 

 Maybe some Dr. Suess for grown ups?

           

 

     

 

           

 

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The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1992.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

The CD was introduced two years before they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable..

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. (Until recently)

Popcorn has always been microwaved.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ' or
'de plane Boss, de plane'.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Don't you feel better now?

P.S. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

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 Unrecognized genius, Dennis Anderson.

Dennis LeRoy Anderson, 62, has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. Apparently ol' Dennis drove into a parked car on the way home from the pub. I'd sure hate to lose one of the greatest inventors of our time.Glad he's okay.

He told police he left a bar in the Minnesota town of Proctor on his La-Z-Boy after drinking eight or nine beers. Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders. Hey, you have to give the guy some credit for being inventive. I gotta get me one of these things.

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 This thing Rocks! Notice the National Hot Rod Association sticker, the rearview mirror and the tiny dragster steeing wheel. Bwahaha!

Here's the back of the "vehicle". If you look closely, you'll see a Nitrous oxide bottle (for extra horsepower), wheelie bars and a dragstrip  parachute. How fast does this thing go, anyway?!

That's all the cut and paste I have for now. Everyone enjoy your weekend!