Life just ain’t fair. A recently released German study shows that women who are holding a younger man as their partner are likely to die younger than those who do the horizontal bop with a similarly aged man. What is even worse is that the younger her lover, the earlier she dies. That sucks. Coo-coo-ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson.
But there is good news. It seems just the opposite is true when men take a younger suitor…… and the younger she is, drum roll please…. the longer he lives! Yay!
I have no idea what I will do armed with this news. I haven’t been on a date in years. Plus, I’m flat broke. That won’t help, but at least I know that chasing the younger chickens around the schoolyard is a good and healthy thing as long as I don’t pop an aorta in the process.
That reminds me. I need to call my eighty-one year old mother and tell her she is going to have to break it off with Antonio. I never liked that kid much. Not with all the wavy hair, perfect olive skin and all those muscles, but hey, someone has to watch out for Mom’s health. Antonio is too busy watching out for her other parts. Did I mention his perfect white teeth? I hate them, too.
But, now that I know chasing younger women is good for me (I always suspected as much), I need to get back in the game. I have been eyed by a couple of younger ladies at the school lately (probably pity), but I think they have one or two of those nasty little problems….what do they call them, again?..... Oh, yes….children.
Maybe I’ll just wait for the study to come out about older guys living alone with two cats.
This from the OldFartsNews complex.
"Cougars beware - having a boy toy husband increases a woman's chances of an early death, according to a German study reported Thursday by the Daily Mail.
And the younger her spouse is, the harder it is on a woman's health, researchers found.
However, the trend is reversed when an older man opts for a younger woman. The more youthful his wife, the longer the husband is expected to live." http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,592762,00.html
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Comments
i demand confirmation before i give up my cabana boy. ;;;; where's robin? she'll understand this.
This kind of news is just a sorry excuse for trophy wives.
Amanda, you can do better.
Robin, you don't strike me as all that mellow.
Femme, That's exactly what Mom said! PS. I saw this first on MSNBC.
Buffy, here AND dancing!
Vanessa, Remember that I am but a lowly messenger.
Women need to marry someone near their own age to live a long life. Men can apparently marry someone 20 years younger...but if the man loves her and wants her to live a long life...well she won't thanks to him. the bigger the age difference the shorter her life will be.
another darned instance of male and female needs uncoinciding...
(no one better tell trump's wives....)
So glad you are back here.
Anyhoo, Mike, I say chase all you want, they're right, it keeps men young. Go for it! Wooo!
-R-
Rated.
My dear Friend:
I know of no medicine fit to diminish the violent natural inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper remedy. It is the most natural state of man, and therefore the state in which you are most likely to find solid happiness. Your reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well founded. The circumstantial advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the man and woman united that make the complete human being. Separate, she wants his force of body and strength of reason; he, her fitness, sensibility, and acute discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the world. A single man has not nearly the Value he would have in the state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors. If you get a prudent healthy wife, your industry in your profession, with her good economy, will be a fortune sufficient.
But if you will not take this counsel and persist in thinking a commerce with the sex inevitable, then I repeat my former advice, that in all your amours you should prefer old women to young ones. You call this a paradox, and demand my reasons. They are these:
1. Because as they have more knowledge of the world and their minds are better stored with observations, their conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreeable.
2. Because when women cease to be handsome they study to be good. To maintain their influence over men, they supply the diminution of beauty by an augmentation of utility. They learn to do a thousand services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old woman who is not a good woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much inconvenience.
4. Because through more experience they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an intrigue to prevent suspicion. The commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the affair should happen to be known, considerate people might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old woman, who would kindly take care of a young man, form his manners by her good counsels, and prevent his ruining his health and fortune among mercenary prostitutes.
5. Because in every animal that walks upright, the deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the neck; then the breast and arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering all above with a basket, and regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all cats are gray, the pleasure of corporal enjoyment with an old woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every knack being by practice capable of improvement.
6. Because the sin is less. The debauching a virgin may be her ruin, and make her for life unhappy.
7. Because the compunction is less. The having made a young girl miserable may give you frequent bitter reflection; none of which can attend the making an old woman happy.
8thly and lastly. They are so grateful!!
Thus much for my paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely
Your affectionate friend,
B. Franklin
Monte
(glad you are going to get a bit of a break from school.)
Monte, you know me too well. There goes my cover.
That can't be good for the woman. Whether the same age or younger, you older boys with younger chicks will find that they will fly away from your aging nest and move on to the next older, but younger male of means, than you. That is also true.
So, keep the cats. They will still be there when the younger, wandering female, makes a run for it.
Lezlie