Not to be out done by those drivers that endanger the rest of us while talking on the phone or texting while driving, a Minnesota woman has taken dangerous driving to a whole new level of insanity. I’m talking about birthing while driving.

You heard me right. She actually gave birth to and eight pound baby boy while driving. I don’t know if she is trying to start a new craze or what, but this nonsense has to stop. Danger is everywhere on our highways. First came talking on cell phones while driving. Yes, that’s a bad one and I know few of us are innocent of that little discretion.

Then, hood-surfing got popular and all the kids were riding on the hoods of moving vehicles for kicks. Many killed themselves in the process. Next in line for dangerous driving was jumping from one moving vehicle to another (Google the You Tube if you don’t believe me). The latest fad is texting while driving; a pastime that many professionals claim to be more dangerous than drunk driving.

Now there is this woman. She thinks it’s cool to give birth while cruising around the countryside.

I’ve witnessed many drivers doing dangerous things while driving. I’ve seen people reading the newspaper, banging on a laptop and eating a bowl of soup. I’m not one to down-play drunk driving, but is eating a plate of spaghetti while driving with your knees any less dangerous?

Just yesterday a woman endangered my life while driving (true story). I looked in my rearview and saw this woman changing her tank-top. All the while she’s riding my bumper at fifty mph (I almost crashed trying to get a better look), but that pales in comparison to birthing while driving. I mean, really. What was this woman thinking?

According to USA Today, 29 year old Bagley, Minnesota resident Amanda McBride, was at work when she thought she was going into labor. You have to admire a woman that works right up to the point of going into labor. Those Minnesota girls are stout.

I can hear her asking for time off from the boss:

” Labor, you say? Doesn't sound too serious.”

“Yes, Mr. Greedley. I think it’s labor.”

“Okay then, but I’ll have to dock you, ya know. Little ol’ Helen over there gave birth to the twins on her coffee break just last week and didn’t even clock out. She was back at her station changing tires before the bell rang.”

“I know Mr. Greedley, but Helen has eight kids and this is only my third. She’s had more practice. I could be back in an hour or so.”

Well, alrighty then. You can go if you feel you must.”

“Thank you, Mr. Greedley.”

“You betcha. You know you girls mean the world to me.”

So, she’s on the way to the hospital, but decides to pick up her husband along the way. He doesn’t drive because he has a history of seizures. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

“You’re going into labor???”

“It sure looks that way, Sweet ‘ems.”

“You think maybe I could drive just this one time?”

“No, no, that’s okay, Hon. You might have one of your conniptions and I’m already sitting here behind the wheel.”

“Whatever you say, Snook ‘ems. It’s your car.”

“You betcha.”

On the way to the hospital, Amanda’s water broke and the baby, “just slid right out” (her words, not mine). That must have been some slippery water.

“Hey, Sweet’ems, think you can hold the wheel for a sec? I think the baby’s coming. Oops, never mind, I got it.”

That had to be a weird scene to witness.

Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. If our youth catch wind of this (you know how impressionable they are) I’m afraid this birthing while driving thing will start a new craze, complete with You Tube videos. Heck, some of them may even do a live stream from their IPhones. They know how to do that, you know. I don’t, but they do.

I just don’t think birthing and driving is a good idea no matter how good you are at multi-tasking. I mean, really. Screaming newborn rolling around on the floor in all that goo, umbilical cord getting tangled up in those slimy pedals, traffic signals changing.  Someone could get hurt is all I’m saying.

So, I beg you. Get on the phone and call your Congress/man/woman/person and tell them that you will not tolerate birthing while driving. Let them know that if a woman feels the need to give birth in a moving vehicle that she should do in the back of a taxi or a Greyhound bus like normal women do.

And for those of you who are still thinking about birthing and driving, I only have one thing to say. Make sure you carry plenty of clean newspapers and a way to boil water in the back seat.

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This has been a public service announcement brought to you by Open Salon and I approved this message.

You can thank me later.

 http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/05/minnesota-woman-gives-birth-while-driving-herself-to-the-hospital/1