My Dearest Daughter Kimiko,  

Dallas, Texas.  I never thought I’d visit that vast, hate-oozing lesion of a state, unless demanded by court order or apocalyptic necessity.  But there we were, you and I, soaring to the Lone Star state, land of cowboys, longhorns, and other slow, sm… Read full post »

I remember distinctly when I chose to be straight. It was springtime. The sun was shining, birds were singing, dogs were barking.  I was out in the yard playing with my friends, while my brother was in his room, door locked, playing with his little friend.  In the kitchen where she… Read full post »

Dear Human Race, 

Hey, dudes, it’s me. God. Yes, your God. The Creator. The Almighty. The man upstairs. Last name ‘Damn.’ No matter what your religion, it’s the same guy. Me.  I’ve been wanting to tell you something for quite a while now, but I’ve been p… Read full post »

Sedona. If you have never been, go. The place is lovely beyond description. Commanding red rock hills rise up from the desert floor and tower like massive stone sentries guarding the bronze expanse of arid flora. The red rock achieves its renowned beauty by showing its age. It wears its… Read full post »

Dear George R.R. Martin;

I’ll be frank. I love your Song of Ice and Fire series.  No, not love. Adore. Worship. Envy.  Not since Tolkien and Douglas Adams have I so looked forward to reading, to losing myself in a tale, to visiting with characters who feel like friends…and ene… Read full post »

“Group 13. You’re up.”

That was us. Our turn to cram ourselves like sardines into a wee prop plane and putt-putt on up to the clouds where we would stare down upon the earth two and half miles down, open a door…and jump.

It sounds crazy, and I… Read full post »

            I park my car a block away from the school, away from the clutter of cars pushing their impertinent way through clogged streets. A wet and goose poop infested expanse of grass separates my parking spot from my daughter Kimiko’s… Read full post »

Dear Kimiko;

We had a rough school year last year, so rough that we both longed for summer the way the exiled long for home. There was no rest for the homework-weary. Assignments were long, expectations were high, and schedules were packed.  Our days felt like arduous hikes through… Read full post »

The United States has an incomparable system of government.  Too bad it’s inhabited by self-serving, boneheaded wankers. Whether Democratic or Republican, the whole motley lot of politicians in DC are as rational and reasonable as a rabid spider monkey.  The only place I’ve seen… Read full post »

Oh, Comic Con, I love you, more than my paltry prose can express. But I don’t love you for the outlandish costumes donned by audacious hordes. I don’t love you for the parade of celebrities that walk your floor. I don’t love you for the copious amounts of mostly useless, occasionall… Read full post »

There is a condition many nerds have. It doesn’t have a name (yet). I don’t know its precise prevalence, nor can I explicate its etiology. But it obsessively compels us to make points, issue clarifications, and expound esoteric truths regarding topics that concern only the point-maker (an… Read full post »

Dear J.J. Abrams;

It’s me. Narrative. Remember me? I know you do. You have to. Remember that affair we had when you worked on Alias? You knew how to handle a storyline then.  You always got me going with a sexy set up and would follow that with some titillating… Read full post »

For Pallabi and her family 

A few years ago I had to have surgery on my left shoulder. Seems my body likes to deposit bone where bone shouldn’t be, so a nice little knot of calcium formed on part of my shoulder bone and slowly ate through one of my rotator… Read full post »

Howdy, boys and girls.  It’s time for a math lesson! 

Now, now, don’t moan and groan about how you hate math and how you’re never gonna use that crap with a K in real life.  You will, because this is tax math, the most slippery and hotly contested… Read full post »

Muscles are amazing things, if you think about them.  Most people don’t.  They don’t think about the yards of ropey flesh draped elegantly around a tough, bony frame.  They don’t spare a thought on the effort those bundled bands of cells must exert simply to keep them… Read full post »

Dear Republicans and other Right Wingers;

You guys are so clever. So, very, very clever.  Here I thought you were just a bunch of megalomaniacal thugs out to mug the middle class and whore our rights to your corporate gods, but no.  That’s just the surface, isn’t it?  That… Read full post »

New York Times: "G.E.'s Strategies Let It Avoid Taxes Altogether" 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/25/business/economy/25tax.html?_r=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha2 

G.E. hasn’t been paying its taxes.  Not surprising. Businesses can’t flourish if they have to be saddle… Read full post »

Yesterday was my birthday.  I don’t say that to solicit additional attention of any kind (though attention is always welcome :-).  I mention it solely because I, apparently, have reached a milepost in my chronological evolution.  I have reached that dreaded point where people no… Read full post »

When the tsunami inundated the town of Minamisoma, Hiromitsu Arakawa clung to the roof of his house as a merciless wall of water swept away his town, then swept away his wife, then swept him nine miles out to sea, where, completely alone, he waited for death or salvation.… Read full post »

Anyone who thinks that teachers are overpaid, lazy, complaining slackers whose cushy jobs could be done by 10 year old Indonesian factory workers is a freakin’ ignorant moron.

There. I said it. Someone had to.

Unless you’ve taught, you have no clue how difficult it is to teach… Read full post »

This is for the guy who comes to my Starbucks* laden with every form of electronic device, a power strip, and apparently, the entire day to kill, sucks up a couple of tables and electrical outlets, and “purchases” only an ice water. 

You got a lot to learn, buddy. … Read full post »

My Dearest Daughter,  

Have you ever wondered why I sit in bed with you every night until you fall asleep?  You may think it’s because I love you, and yes, that has something to do with it.  But there is another, more accurate, reason for our nighttime ritual.  Here it… Read full post »

I’ve figured it out.  I’ve figured out how to get rid of Sarah Palin.  And I owe it all to my addiction: The Simpsons.

I suffer from an somewhat rare disorder called Simpsons-mania. The primary symptom of this disorder presents as a compulsive and incessant need to cite scenes… Read full post »

I have a single female friend who is on the hunt for a boyfriend.  Recently, while recounting her latest dating disappointment, she noted with obvious disdain that her date de jour didn’t open any doors for her, nor did he offer to pay for her dinner.  “Any decent man would have/… Read full post »

If life were fair…

Tofu would taste like chicken, chicken would taste like beef, and cows would fart pine-scented petroleum.

Assholes would never get ahead.  They would never acquire massive amounts of wealth.  They would never run multinational corporations, lead countries, or wor… Read full post »