Chelle's Mid-life musings

A journey of a middle aged woman...relearning to love life!

MichelleD

MichelleD
Location
St. Charles, Illinois, USA
Birthday
January 17
Bio
I am a career oriented woman, who just retired from 20 years of active duty service in the military. I now work in a civilian hospital, and recently completed my MBA in Healthcare management. I enjoy writing, cooking, running, and above all spending as much time possible with my family.

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Salon.com
FEBRUARY 4, 2012 1:29AM

My life long Marathon

Rate: 10 Flag

I learned a lot today.  More than I had hoped or expected to, but if you know me, you know I am always trying to gain new knowledge be it with life, work, or family/friends. 

I know I’ve said it before, but pardon my repeat sentences…my husband finally left today for his Officer training and with him he took a piece of me.  We got up promptly around 6 am to get the kids ready for school and organize his belongings in the car.  I sat quietly without words because I already felt the void in my heart. 

Let me explain, that he and I have a unique relationship.  One where we have fought only enough times in 8 years to count on one hand.  One where we balance each other, lift the other one up on a bad day, or crack a joke simply to make the other smile.  One where we finish sentences, and don’t have a need for words some days, and can warm a room with our gazes and embraces. 

Not many understand this…and I never thought I would find THIS.  But I did, and I cherish every single moment spent with the man I am thankful to call my husband.  My best friend.  My soul mate. 

And now, again, he’s gone.  Briefly of course, but gone from my daily life.  His quirks, horrible habits, and boisterous laughter are already missing from our home. 

I wanted to stay in bed all day, and feel sorry for myself. 

But I got up after lying in bed for an hour and made myself study.  Get my nails done.  Run errands…

I can’t let life stop these next 4 months.

My daughter, Sophia begged to go to the gym…she just loves it.  So I forced myself in to my running gear and we went to the gym.

I ran a painful 3 miles…kicking, screaming, and crying was felt within my entire body.  But…

I ran. 

I have goals, dreams, and things to accomplish.  And I am thankful for the closeness that he and I share.

He texted earlier in the day, “In Ohio”…I texted back, “too far”…

His response which still leaves a lump in my throat…

“Leaving the driveway was too far.”

  

 

It is for ME, HIM, and my GIRLS, I will run this race…

Piss on the knee and hip pain…I will work through it.  I have goals, dreams, and passion. 

 

Bring it. 

Author tags:

running, relationships, strength

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Be strong, brave rock, the lighthouse depends on your strength.
.
The fact that you could even write about how you will make it proves that such will be so.
What you and he share is magic!
You’ll push forward and keep yourself and girls well for him.
He’ll return and the universe will be warmed by a few degrees.
Your words give me hope that this happens between two souls.
~R~
Painful times between the good times... Um, is running thru hip and knee pain a good thing? (Take lotsa gloucosamine.)
Thanks Sky, I sure will keep trying...

Thanks, Mary!!!

Yes, M, it is quite magical indeed...I am very blessed.

Myriad, I do take it daily, currently working through some IT band issues...thanks for your thoughts.
You are like a lighthouse, strong, powerful and weathered many a storm! You rock honey...and although this 4 month break feels awful you will weather it beautifully as you do everything else.
I hope the four months go by faster for you than imagined they would, and you'll be reunited with all the love and passion to be unharnessed. Meanwhile, expressing yourselves through these texted gems will add a different dimension to your mutual history. Best to you.
Thanks, Sarah, and FusnaA!! I sure hope the time flies!
Wow, this is a beautiful story! Please see a good physical therapist for your pain problems - mine has just worked miracles for me with my knee and hip pain!
Thanks, Wren...I've started massage therapy and roller therapy. Hoping it helps...xoxo
Thanks, daisy...I am working through it as we speak...I'll 'get there'...
Lucky you in winding up with someone who makes such an ideal partner Michelle. Well, it's never entirely due to luck. One's own qualities deserve some of the credit. My first few years of marriage were like that and when my ex had to return to her native Argentina for a couple of weeks, I was amazed at how empty the place felt without her. I guess the one day at a time approach is the way to go.
I do believe in fate, Abra...but I agree often you attract the same type of person you ARE. I am truly blessed.