I see, hear and read posts and blogs of people who have handfuls of friends standing by them through their life. These friends are there for celebrations, mourning of lives lost, and day to day events. Most of these people have lived in the same place their entire life, or at least for many years.
I personally have moved from place to place, and town to town for over 20 years. My roots are withered and frayed in the fact my friends and family have always been spread across the world.
Yet in the military, when you acquire a true friend, you now have a newly sanctioned member of your family. Because these TRUE friends, are placed inside your heart, and become a part of your soul for a life time. You can go weeks, months, even years without speaking…yet a simple phone call or text erases the time that has been placed in between the two people.
I have struggled lately looking in the mirror, or at pictures of myself. I was once a very bright, young, and beautiful (so they say) woman. I had Oral surgeons take pictures of my “perfect symmetrical face” because they were in awe of my physique. I never thought much of myself back then…I was just a typical partying 20-30 year old having fun…but others saw beauty I didn’t…My FRIENDS, saw me struggling for self-confidence, and self-worth. These FRIENDS, were my life line, and even to this day I know those special people will hold a place in my heart for a life time.
I look in the mirror now, and wonder what happened to the face that once was said to emit light and beauty and fire? Someone once told me when I walked into the room, the sun seemed to shine a little brighter…I find myself hanging on to those words now…Because now my skin sags, my hair is dreary and my PHYSICAL being seems to have lost the light I used to encompass. Is it because my friends are so far away? Gosh, I wish there was an explanation…because the years have not been good to my physical state.
But I’d add a thousand wrinkles just to have those friends close again. I was blessed to have my dear friend text me tonight, saying she didn’t picture me following through with my hopes and dreams all those years ago because I always lived in a world of self-doubt. Yet she is amazed by me, and thankful for the memories we had together nearly 15 years ago.
So I suppose, it’s time to look away from the mirrors I don’t want to face, and paint my own portrait of beauty…I have a timeless set of paints…my friends, and my family fill the colors of my life. Be it near or far, they keep me grounded, and at peace that I am where I am meant to be…