Chelle's Mid-life musings

A journey of a middle aged woman...relearning to love life!


St. Charles, Illinois, USA
January 17
I am a career oriented woman, who just retired from 20 years of active duty service in the military. I now work in a civilian hospital, and recently completed my MBA in Healthcare management. I enjoy writing, cooking, running, and above all spending as much time possible with my family.


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MARCH 27, 2012 12:37AM


Sleepless nights

Filled with mixed emotions

And empty aches

Tugging at your heart

You are left alone to deal

With temper tantrums


And broken hearts

Dust piles up

Carpet needs a scrub

And dishes pile up in the sinkRead full post »

MARCH 22, 2012 11:56PM

Rain, rain...go away...

Rain, Rain, go away…

I need to run…

I need to be released from the pressures of life

Of being a single Mom without help

Without even being able to

Run errands

On my own

Seems small…I’m sure…

But after years ofRead full post »

MARCH 22, 2012 12:35AM

Wind beneath my Wings

Support is given, and received on many different levels.  My sister sang, “The Wind beneath my Wings” when she was nearing graduation, and I remember clearly sobbing as if I had lost my best friend.  She was leaving for college, and our time together was over for a moment. Read full post »

MARCH 10, 2012 11:27PM


As if I were a wallflower imprinted on tattered old wallpaper that once were brightly lit with sunshine and color, I found my colors beginning to fade…The outlines were still visible showing a glow that could light up even the darkest of days. 

These flowers were often counted andRead full post »

MARCH 6, 2012 10:27PM

My ‘ode’ to running

A runner…


My ‘ode’ to running


A runner runs through the pain

Embraces swollen and bruised toes

Knowing with each step

They are one step closer to their finish line

A runner’s legs are often sore

But continueRead full post »

MARCH 4, 2012 1:31AM

self- pity

I hate how I feel today.  Even after an amazing day with my family, I am left with a hole in my heart I just can’t seem to fill tonight.  I cried saying goodbye to my folks and my sister even though they are only hours away…

I am realizingRead full post »

MARCH 3, 2012 1:00AM

My newly found wings

My Air Force wings

Are now


20 years put behind me

In a midst of memories

That haunt me at times

Yet those wings

Once plastered upon my sleeves

Are hanging in a closet

Never to be worn again…Read full post »

FEBRUARY 26, 2012 11:39PM

My apologies

Just wanted to say it isn't because I haven't wanted to write...

more so, the time escapes me...


I graduate

THIS week...

and I think my time will finally

start to be,

my own. 


Thanks all for the love and support, know I am with you all, always. … Read full post »

FEBRUARY 24, 2012 11:28PM

The War I still need to fight

I have spent the better part of my life, over half in fact serving my country while enlisted in the Air Force.  I joined to “Fly, Fight, and win.”  Yet although I DID enlist, I found myself in a hospital job that I did NOT want, or love at the time. Read full post »

FEBRUARY 22, 2012 11:29PM

39 things....

39 things

1.      I enlisted in the Air Force at the age of 17 with my parents signatures as I wasn’t 18 yrs. old

2.      I have fished in dozens of lakes, to include the waters of Canada, with great joy.

3.      I waRead full post »

FEBRUARY 20, 2012 11:54PM

Laugh lines

The beauty that once encompassed

My face,

My hair,

My eyes…

Is now lost amidst

A field of crevices

Which are referred to as “laugh lines”

I wish these lines were cause due to laughing

Yet I know the past

HasRead full post »

FEBRUARY 14, 2012 12:01AM

An over-rated holiday

So many over emphasize

A day that glorifies

Balloons filled with

Shallow breaths

Flowers that were picked

For merely a random soul...

Sweet chocolate

That holds an underlying bitter taste

Because the mouth of the giver

Is sour instead of sweetRead full post »

I see, hear and read posts and blogs of people who have handfuls of friends standing by them through their life.  These friends are there for celebrations, mourning of lives lost, and day to day events.  Most of these people have lived in the same place their entire life, or at/Read full post »

FEBRUARY 9, 2012 11:59PM


Old friends can often

Be referred to

As a warm fire

These friends are able

To light your soul

With casual conversation

Finding a way into your past

Yet lighting a path

To a future untold

Knowing roads traveled

As ifRead full post »

FEBRUARY 7, 2012 12:00AM

Solid doors, being opened

I closed the weathered


Yet solid and well-built oak polished door

My hope

And desire

Was to diminish

The aching pain in my soul

With a run filled with endorphins

It worked


Yet daily mundane choresRead full post »

FEBRUARY 5, 2012 11:28PM

The game I didn't participate in...

I, for once in many years

Could care less about the famous

Football game televised tonight. 


Football, for me

Always meant Sunday’s full

Of food and festivities


Yet this Sunday

Brought a quiet and aching air

Of painRead full post »

FEBRUARY 4, 2012 1:29AM

My life long Marathon

I learned a lot today.  More than I had hoped or expected to, but if you know me, you know I am always trying to gain new knowledge be it with life, work, or family/friends. 

I know I’ve said it before, but pardon my repeat sentences…my husband finally leftRead full post »

FEBRUARY 3, 2012 12:10AM

My lighthouse

I’ve been in this place

More times than I count…

Bags being packed

Uniforms folded neatly

With military corners pressed

Very few see the trials

That lie within the life of a military spouse

Yet the night before

The departureRead full post »

FEBRUARY 1, 2012 12:20AM

My Marathon to join me?

There are moments in your life when you realize life is as it should be.  You work, strive, and push forward for the underlying “more”…Better status, nicer clothes, a nicer home…

Yet eventually reality hits, and you realize, amidst lack of social status or handfuls ofRead full post »

JANUARY 29, 2012 10:59PM

With Open Arms

With warmth lacking

Upon my aging bones

The wind-chill permeates into my soul

With looming goodbyes

Amidst my upcoming future

I know I’ll miss your warmth against my body

With Italian music playing

Singing a song we know by heart

I miss youRead full post »

JANUARY 28, 2012 1:22AM

Time to say goodbye, for now...

Please don’t tell me

“Oh you’ll be ok”

Because I already know I will surpass the distance

That drives a wedge between us

Please don’t tell me

“The time will go by fast”

Because a minute without you

Is like a down pour ofRead full post »

JANUARY 25, 2012 12:34AM

Why does a runner, run?

Sheer bliss found in the scenes of nature

Trees tower over head as if to wrap their branches

And arms around me

to push me forward

Feet rhythmically hit the road

With patterned breaths just so

Counting breaths

Knowing steps

Yet amongst this calculation comes peaceRead full post »

JANUARY 22, 2012 10:31PM

My Toy Story

I was born in the early 70’s, and although my memories are few and far between of my younger life I often remember the struggle our family endured.  It wasn’t a struggle of love so much, more so my parents came from small towns, with my Mom growing up in a/Read full post »

JANUARY 22, 2012 1:28AM


Words unspoken

Amongst a blur and cloudy  haze

Muddled by the glass I hold in my hand

I tried

To Harbor myself

In words left tainted and tasks that I hoped

Would fill the void this damn glass

Left empty

Could IRead full post »

JANUARY 17, 2012 11:54PM


The smoke stacks billowed with peaks filling the sky

The air was filled with smells


And dreams of freshly baked goods

From the historic 1st Street bakery

Damn I wish I could remember it’s name…Johnson’s?

Memories of walks along cracked sidewalks

With cracklingRead full post »