Chelle's Mid-life musings

A journey of a middle aged woman...relearning to love life!


St. Charles, Illinois, USA
January 17
I am a career oriented woman, who just retired from 20 years of active duty service in the military. I now work in a civilian hospital, and recently completed my MBA in Healthcare management. I enjoy writing, cooking, running, and above all spending as much time possible with my family.


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JANUARY 17, 2012 12:35AM


Guilt often overcomes me as I lie in bed at night

Sleepless nights intermixed with bad dreams

Encompass my being with night sweats and chills

Knowing soon he will have to leave.

His leaving leaves me with the unending burden

Of housework, child rearing, and nights filled with tear stained cheeksRead full post »

JANUARY 15, 2012 11:59PM

My Mati

I will start this piece out with the fact that I am not Greek.  I have no Greek blood that runs through me, nor have I ever visited Greece. 

Yet I can’t help but to believe…

I have to say 9 months ago my Air Force sister gaveRead full post »

JANUARY 14, 2012 9:24PM

A party I'd rather not go to...

The dryer sang quietly to me, as if to remind me of the countless loads of clothes I have yet to wash and dry…

Yet I felt distracted in a moment, more so a time when my life had more excitement and more “plans” for a Saturday night.  My evening/Read full post »

JANUARY 13, 2012 10:40PM


You loved me because I took the time to smile

To wave,


To gaze upon your drunken, beaming face

In that bar we danced and drank in, so many years ago

I caught your gaze

Beyond the smoke filled room

With hundreds ofRead full post »

JANUARY 10, 2012 11:52PM

My drive home...

With bated breath I drove forward

Managing and traveling

The coarse roads

Feeling every bump and pot-hole of traction

Yet somehow I found myself

Forgetting to feel and see

What was right in front of my eyes.

Instead I found myself


Loathing,Read full post »

JANUARY 9, 2012 12:03AM

Run with it!

Embers burn upon a fire I have stoked

“Don’t stay up too late,” my Husband whispered

So gently in my ear

As he quietly succumbed to the night

As the down pillows and comforters that called to his tired eyes.

Jason Mraz sang gently to meRead full post »

JANUARY 8, 2012 10:54PM

Divorce...when is it time to let go?

This was previously posted on another site, but a piece I felt needed to be re-visited.

To stay, or not to stay...that is often the question. Here is my experience with divorce, and questions you need to ask if you are in a bad marriage.

Divorce...when is it time to let go?
photo via Shutterstock… Read full post »

JANUARY 8, 2012 12:06AM

Broken branches of life

Countless decades have evolved

Yet the scars run deep

I scrub and clean trying to wash away the past

Yet in the night

Those memories find me

And now it is my choice.

Wallow in the pain?

Question the whys and what ifs?Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 6, 2012 12:35AM

The A-10 Accident that changed my life

I had been in the military for 13 years.  Served proudly through the 9-11 tragedy as a supplemental lab technician during the countless hours of blood drives in hopes we could save at least one life. 

Back tracking, I had joined the military in 1991, wanting nothing more thanRead full post »

JANUARY 5, 2012 12:06AM


War is a word

Engraved in our soul

Although we may not all

Set our boots upon

The ground of which we fight

Yet said ground

Is often unspoken


And untold to most who

Obsess in watching the latestRead full post »

JANUARY 4, 2012 12:01AM

My own garden

We look for strength in muscles


Hoping to build and strive for more

Yet the strength we need

Often thrives forward

With a desire to uphold

Is often lying dormant

Within our hearts

And minds

Hiding behind discord

FearRead full post » world isn’t ending, it truly is just beginning.

I’ve heard the Mayan calendar is ending, the world is doomed for the final demise yet I can’t help but to keep planning, keep pushing, and moving forward with my daily and future goals. 

New Year’s Eve/Day is onRead full post »

I can look back on many life changing events that have shaped and molded me into the woman that sits here calmly at my keyboard tonight.  The holidays always tend to make me muse over the events of the year, especially New Year’s Eve because I find it important to recollect/Read full post »

DECEMBER 28, 2011 11:27PM

Is this love

The dream of something more

Old time movies

Where boy meets girl

And the sun rises and sets swiftly in her eyes

Whilst the strength of his arms

And the ease of his gaze

Sweep her off her feet

Knocking her to the groundRead full post »

DECEMBER 27, 2011 11:29PM


Standing up



Callous words


Looks that can carve


And jagged edges

Where a once soft

Unscarred and blissful life


Danced upon.

The dance,



And silent

Filtered by scorn,Read full post »

DECEMBER 27, 2011 12:06AM

Hair Dye

For years I hid behind different shades of hair dye

Tanning salons

Make up

And various fashion statements that mean truly nothing. 

I can tell you I prefer

A pair of baggy jeans and a soft cotton tee shirt

With my thinning hairRead full post »

DECEMBER 26, 2011 8:41PM

A tribute to my Mother

I wrote this previously, but was blissfully reminded of how much my Mother loves me this past weekend while spending Christmas in my parent's home with my sister and her family for one of the first years in nearly 20 years.  Thanks, Mom...I love you.

As I reach middle age I… Read full post »

DECEMBER 25, 2011 7:41PM

Merry Christmas, and I mean it!

I first want to say, Merry Christmas to everyone!  Been a few days since I've written or stopped by, but has been a very busy two days with my family.

I could write, describing all the gifts given, and received.

 I could think about what I have, or don't have this… Read full post »

DECEMBER 22, 2011 11:06PM

Bad days can be good...

Had a bad day,

Or did I?

I was the girl who walked around in a whirlwind of the self-induced black hole for 25 years.

I was the girl who yes, had been dealt a rough hand by the ‘dealer of life’.  But honestly, who hasn’t?

IRead full post »

DECEMBER 21, 2011 10:27PM

Skipping upon the rocks

A little girl

Road her bike through paths of endless trees

Birds’ sweetly singing chorus’s unknown as she found her way,

With not a cloud in the bluest of skies. 

Across the flowing creeks that sang trickling songs

Washing away any pain

That mayRead full post »

DECEMBER 21, 2011 12:16AM

Blue fire

Tonight I think of what I have withstood,

various tribulations I have been given,

Yet more what I have done with situations

Given to my hand.


Laid to rest

In a graveyard for only

Soulless thieves to pray

Current successRead full post »

DECEMBER 18, 2011 12:06AM

My winter wonderland, ALL year long

My winter wonderland

We moved back to the greater Chicago area just this past May after traveling all over the United States for the past 20 years having served my time in the Air Force.  Our new and permanent home is St. Charles, IL, a beautiful and quiet suburb of/Read full post »

DECEMBER 16, 2011 12:20AM

My life Goals...I'm getting there...

In the background I hear my dryer spinning my now clean clothes, faintly smelling of the dryer sheets I carefully placed within the dryer, and realize all these years I have been spinning along as well.  Not sure where I am going, yet with small imperical goals that I had set for… Read full post »

A Veteran’s thoughts…


My latest plight is fighting the Veterans Affairs (VA) office for the disability claim I filed on 4 Apr 2011.  People often look at me with a cocked head and a crocked grin and say, “YOU filed disability?  You are about as disabled as my/Read full post »

This was previously posted on another site, but felt it was worth reposting as this is my 'new home' and the subject at hand can't be left untold.    We all have 'bad days' yet for some of us, those bad days can lead us into a downward spiral. 

Suicide is a touchy… Read full post »