With a book tour right around the corner that will open up on the hardly-noticable Oprah, and in the wake of Teh Cuda's major victory in NY, you'd think Our Sar would be lapping up the publicity with a spoon Bush-style. Sort of "Bring it on, sucka!" only in Palin-speak. But you would, I'm afraid, be wrong. Apparently Sarah wants to keep the whole thang a deep dark secret.

Former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP presidential candidate Sarah Palin will be speaking at an event hosted by the group Wisconsin Right to Life this evening.

It is a closed event – which generally means no press. Amid apparent worries that the ex-governor's words will be aired publicly despite that restriction, however, Wisconsin Right to Life and/or Palin's handlers are taking the notion of "closed" to a whole new level.

Check out this list of prohibited items at the event, which was spotted by CBS News Political Director Steve Chaggaris. All bags, by the way, "will be searched":

•No cell phones
•No recording devices
•No video or still cameras
•No laptops
•No photos or recording allowed
•No literature distribution
•No posters or banners
•No strollers or car seats
•No carry-in food or beverages

No kidding. I suppose anyone seen carrying a notebook will be shot on sight.

You have to admit this is an odd way for a public figure giving a supposedly public speech on the eve of a major publicity tour to act.

The restrictions are "bizarre," according to Democratic Party of Wisconsin Chair Mike Tate.

"You know, for someone who claims to be a rogue and isn’t afraid of what other people think it really is sort of hypocritical to not let the media, the press cover your event," he told Wisconsin Radio Network.

Apparently the Batshit Insane Wing (BIW) of the GOP has decided that Dick Cheney got in trouble not because he lied, broke the law, and snarled a lot but because he was just too goshdarn nice to that damned left-wing press. When he came out of his bunker, that's where he made his mistake.

Sarah's gonna fix that. Fuck them and the horse they rode in on. You want to buy Sarah's book, I guess you're gonna hafta know the special magic password and which Cadillac trunk she's selling them out of between 3 and 3.15am...provided, of course, you're willing to run the gauntlet of her superarmed security force.

And you better not bring your camera if you know what's good for you....