Illinois, United States
September 20
Please call first
Come on in and make yourself comfy. Kick off your shoes. Coffee? Tea? Sit awhile and read… Express your thoughts. Any questions? Feel free to ask for I am a woman of a certain age and I do not fear my secrets. I welcome them for they have led me here, where I pour them out in written word. I'm also a Recovering Catholic, but I very much believe in a Higher Power. Those shoes you see in my banner, I own those shoes... Stuart Weitzman Fever in patent leather red! We used to get out alot more, me and my shoes. So I decided to add them to my blog because, hey, I'm not dead yet!! "Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone." ~Jim Fiebig


MiddleAgedWomanBlogging's Links

JUNE 6, 2009 2:36PM

My Mother Showed Up... Crazy Thing Though, She's Dead

Rate: 33 Flag
Think what you will, but she paid me a visit and she had a message for me, which I am still trying to decipher. Well, honestly, I think she had several messages for me. I’ll start at the beginning.

My mother died a year ago of lung cancer. I stopped smoking for 23 years, but started again after my divorce. I have tried to quit off and on, but currently, I am smoking. Two other times she has visited me in my dreams that I can remember. In one, she was standing in my office pointing at the small leak in my ceiling, which I had repaired, telling me to get a new roof. I did.

As you know from reading my previous posts, my father sees her often around the home he shared with her for almost 60 years. My son saw his dead Grandfather standing in our hallway. My daughter sees entities, also. Suffice it to say, many people in my family can and do see dead people, even while they are awake. I do not. They come to me in my sleep, yet these dreams are like no others. These are so real, so very vivid, that when I awake I actually look around to see if that person is still there. I had a friend die at the age of 36, who came to me for months with messages for her devastated husband, which I relayed until I finally asked her to stop. She did.

Yesterday, during my nap, she came. My mother, my sister and some friends all checked in to the most beautiful hotel I had ever stayed. More grand than the Drake on Lake Shore Drive, more grand than the Pfister in Milwaukee, more grand even, than the Hotel Gritti Palace in Venice. There were marble floors and columns, ornate gold designs throughout, cream-colored walls and oriental carpets. It was opulent, a far cry from what I could possibly afford.

The bellboy accompanied us down lavish hallways to our room. My sister and I donned our swimming suits and left for the pool while my mother stayed behind. Gone but a few minutes, my sister and I argued. I immediately returned to the room and cried to my mother.

“She always does this! She is so condescending!”

“I know.”

“She is the most self-centered bitch I have ever met!”

“I know.”

“She pulls this shit every fucking time!”

“ I know. It will be okay,” my mother replies calmly, “It will be okay.”

My mother takes a drag off of her cigarette when there is a knock at the back door of our room, a door I didn’t notice before. I start down the long hall towards the door, bedrooms line the hall along the way. It opens to a busy street before I can get there and a young chambermaid walks in, handing me a blanket or jacket I left at the front desk. I am upset she didn’t use the front door and that our privacy has been exposed to the street.

I return to the pool joining my girlfriend and her two small children. I tell her about the conversation I had with my mother. She looks at me strangely, “But… your mother is dead.”

“No, she was there! She was in the room, I talked to her.” I suddenly realize my mistake and fall to my knees sobbing so hard I can hardly catch my breath.

We decide to leave the area and while walking around the edge of the pool, her youngest son falls into the deep end of the water. I jump in to save him. Her second son falls in. Now ,all the adults are in the pool trying to save the children. I grab the hand of the smallest child, trying to pull him up from the depths of the pool. I cannot. It is like he is stuck in cement. My sister shows up next to me and grabs his other hand. As if by magic, her touch brings the child up and out of the water.

I wake up. I am lying on my living room sofa, still sobbing and trying to catch my breath. I look around trying to see her, my mother, but I cannot.

I know she came to visit me yesterday afternoon, but crazy thing… she’s dead.

Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:
I'm better now, but oh man! ooowwweeeeoooo
First of all I would give a hug and tell you it's ok, I understand. When my uncle died two years ago he would come to me in my dreams. It was very cool. My mom died when I was in my 20's and she used to visit me as well. I wish she would come back because I still miss her.
Be glad your mother stopped by it's a special gift.
All I can say is, "wow". I don't even know what to do with that.
I am very sorry for your loss. I think many people feel that they have had 'visits.' Maybe these people come back to tell us that they are still there somewhere and that we will see them before we know it. I think it is harder when you first lose them, because it serves to remind you that they are gone and how much you miss them, but over time, from what I've heard, you want them to come again.
I'm sorry for the loss of your mom and your friend. I think these are more examples of how thin the threshold between "real life" and the spiritual - after all, we are spiritual beings on earth. Usually when we have such dreams, it's because we're not seeing something we need to see; we're not paying close enough attention. It's like when we feel pain, to signal something is wrong w/ our body. Sending a big hug to you! (And enough with the smoking already) :)
Intriguing story. Perhaps she is out there looking out for you. Trying to help as mothers seem to always do...
MAWB- I've had like visits from my mother and father, and my brother. There is a difference between these visits and regular dreams; the images are much more vibrant, and in a couple of cases, I could actually smell my mother's perfume in the air of the room, after she had left me. I know for me, I long for them and feel as though they do not occur frequently enough.
Tara! Thanks for visiting here at OS too! I agree there were many messages, and one big one was that I need to stop smoking!!

ladyfarmrjed, I am so glad she stopped by and pray she does so many more times.

Cartouche, I know!

DeliaBlack, I absolutely believe our loved ones are still here some place... and we will see them again.

Cindy, yes, it was quite emotional. As time comes between me and the dream I see it from different angles, but don't think I will forget waking up crying for sure.

Blue, yes... I believe she is watching over her entire family.
junk1 you are so right! They are different, I don't know how to explain it. I dream in color all the time, but these dreams are, like you say, more vivid. I talk to her often... Yo, Mom! Can you help me out here!! But, she seems to have different messages for me than the ones I am asking her about. Time will tell.
WOW! Nicely told story. I believe you. I have dreams like that too.
Maybe her message is to try and making things right between your sister and you. The child coming up finally when both of you are a hold of him, could mean that there would be more power/ strength if you two were closer. Just my thought, that is what I caught from it.
Great post! enjoyable to read.
I get you. The next day is what I call a "dream hangover". The world is tilted, nothing looks the same.
I'm sure my father came to me last night because I've been thinking about him. But also, he was at D-Day.
Recieve the messages, I guess. What's the option?
Thanks for this excellent post.
fireeyes24, I like your interpretation of the dream. My sister was just here, at my home, and I had her read the post. She agrees, arguments come, arguments go, but we are still sisters who love each other non-the-less. She also has dreams about my mother and so do her sons.

aim, "dream hangover" That is exactly what it is like! Sorta still in a fog! I have no doubt that your father came to visit. I believe their message is always "love." Who knows best, but them, for they have passed into it.
"My sister shows up next to me and grabs his other hand. As if by magic, her touch brings the child up and out of the water."

What a bitch. Always has to be the center...

I won't even get into my dreams involving my dead father.
OMG, Cap'n, I hadn't even thought about it that way! That is hysterical. Here I am trying to be all spiritual about it! LMAO
My mom died when I was 19 and for years I had dreams that she wasn't really dead... she was hiding somewhere.

Also, by the way, my mom has been dead for 37 years and I still seek her approval... (Rated)
Well I am glad she got to read the post. I interpreted as yes you are sisters, you shouldn't let anything as small as a argument come between that sisterly bond and love. Maybe your mom was saying you need to have that strength from each other that is form when you are together. She might be coming now because there come possibly be some reason the two of you will need each to be strong for each other.
I am just saying what I see, I can't tell or read the future. But I do have lots of dreams like these and other ones, so kind of going off from how I interpreter from my own dreams.
I do hope you both get things work out and can be close again.
This was intense. I know that I have had intense dreams ... perhaps of a similar nature involving pople who could no posibly be with me.... but I can never remember them. I hope you're ok.
I'm sorry for your loss and pleased to know your mother visits and comforts you. My Dad died 9 years ago and Mom two years ago, this July. Neither has visited me and I have had only one dream with both of them and me, at age 12. Dad regularly visits our youngest sister, but none of the rest (four) of us.
I do so hope that your mother continues her visits and I agree with the above sister-strength" interpretations and the message your mom kept repeating, "It will be okay."
My father came to visit me and he had a message, "Don't quit your job". A month later I was offered a position at a new company for less money but more control over the finished product, and a promotion at my current job. I didn't quit my job and the other company folded about three months later due to "accounting problems".
Your dream.......
The hotel seems to me to represent Heaven and the long corridor in your suite the path from here to there. You are in fact visiting HER. Your interaction with your sister occurs outside the hotel room (here on earth) which is the reality aspect. You take your grievances to your mother.

Your mother said she knows your sister is basically an instigator but it will be ok. Which I feel like she is meaning persevere/hang in there because you are going to need her.

Then the children fall into the water and you try to save them (are you in rescue mode with your own children or her with hers?) It will take the both of you to pull it off. She can help you accomplish what can't accomplish alone. Is there a child who is in trouble (grown or small)? Be aware.
but did last night's wine help? : )
and your mom is keeping her eye on you; listen to he silence, she is speaking. --rated--
oh, this is a great piece. i'm a bit envious that you all have these visits. my dead father has never had a word to say to me. it's kind of lovely, freaky to others i know, that she visits you. even if it leaves you sobbing. i'm no mystic but there is so much we just don't know about death and the universe and the energy from dead people, the life force, that must be recyled in some way.

i have had a few psychic experiences. i'll PM them to you so you won't feel strange. actually many if you coun t the small ones. love love love and gratitude. if it's too upsetting, you can ask her to stop, love. but you know that.
Wish I dreamed of lost loves. You are lucky though to dream in color. I do too, and most people don't. Dream noirs.
Dreams can be so powerful in out lives, for venting and interpreting. And yes, can seem so real.
RogerF1953, I can’t tell you how many times I have thought, “Oh, God, what would my mother think of this!?

Harp, I’m good, thanks, but it was a shocker!

Mothership, I think they may visit but you don’t always remember. Like another poster said, some days when you can’t stop thinking about them, I believe you have either dreamt about them or they may simply be hanging around for whatever reason. Yes, the calming “it’s okay” message was good!

ocularnervosa, another “WOW!” It’s so strange, is it not? I’m glad you followed his advice.

ApacheSavage, you seem to really know what you are talking about! I take it you have had similar experiences. We are rescuing my friend’s children, which I never really see. She doesn’t even live near me now. But, I will keep in mind that I need to be aware. Thanks!

Mr. Mustard, I ended up not even drinking any wine, but diet coke instead. I think I felt the need to stay grounded. Funny you tell me to listen. My daughter told me I was clairaudient once, but so far, not so much.

Theodora L'Engle Knight, I do believe our energy stays long after we are gone. Please, feel free to PM. I do not find it upsetting in the least.

Patrick Hahn, exactly!!! Wow!!

Lea Lane, I have always dreamt in color. In fact, I remember have one or two dreams in black and white and thinking they were so strange. LOL

Have any of you seen the full moon tonight? So fitting!!
Damn on the dream. I have those kinds of dreams, sometimes I guess you could call them waking dreams, people I have never met before I standing there next to my bed when I wake up.

Most of them are never 'evil' feelings, just spooky when you wake up and see someone staring at you and then vanishes. ~nodding~

tinker, that is VERY interesting. When my son was a small child I would go in to his room at bedtime and lay with him until he fell asleep. He always took the spot next to the wall. One night, I crawled in first and he made me move. I asked him what the deal was and he answer, " I need to sleep next to the wall because the ghosts are on that side."

I wonder if that still happens to him... if so, he does not discuss it.
"When my son was a small child I would go in to his room at bedtime and lay with him until he fell asleep. He always took the spot next to the wall. One night, I crawled in first and he made me move. I asked him what the deal was and he answer, " I need to sleep next to the wall because the ghosts are on that side."

I wonder if that still happens to him... if so, he does not discuss it."

Weird, my mom & I had similar discussions -- the ghosts were there to protect me from the monsters, much like the cats guarded the bed against evil spirits.

Mom promised to haunt me after she died. She kept her word.
Yes i have had numerous experiences waking and dreaming. In the dreaming aspect the dreams, as you mentioned, have a very different quality. The details are too great/prominent. I have premonition dreams as well as messages from the deceased. I have a friend who is unable to remember her dreams (which I did not know this) and her deceased mother came to me in a dream. I was treating it like a normal visit even though in the dream I knew as I know in waking that she is dead. I was showing her all my stuff for my new business and she was humoring me. Finally she said she didn't have a lot of time and told me she needed me to pass a message to her daughter. I tried to contact my friend and finally wrote her a letter saying "Hey, Talked to your mom the other night and she told me to tell you...." I got a phone call shortly afterward from my friend tearfully and joyfully telling me it was exactly what she had been wanting to know.

Read my blog called "losing my religion," and I think you already read the haunted memoirs, right?
My mother-in-law visited me last night and I really needed advice from her but I woke up screaming when I realized what was happening. Maybe she'll come back if I promise not to scream.
Wonderfully written, matter-of-fact yet so filled with layers of emotion. I'm fascinated by the personal responses.. seems you are not alone in this phenomenon. I don't see dead people but I too dream in color, hard to believe there's any other way.
exdwarf, You understand!!! I believe many are there to help us, we need only listen. I need to work on that part!

ApacheSavage, I will head over to your joint and read your blog today! I do find this stuff fascinating and truly, it makes me believe without a doubt there is life after death.

lifehalflived, I just read your post before I read my comments here. Very interesting! I was surprised at my reaction in my dream also. I cried more in the dream than when my mother actually passed. I was so busy trying to keep it together then.

Sally Swift, I believe that if we stay in tune answers to what we ask during the daylight hours will come to us in our sleep. Now if we could only remember them before we have to let the dog out!
Wow - powerful dream. I haven't had many that rock me so hard, but my wife often does. Hers convinced me that they're worth listening to - when we can remember them!
There are dreams (the busy subsconscious, processing stuff), and then there are DREAMS (integrated consciousness, experiencing real events in an altered reality). She visits rarely now (dead 37 years, she pops by only on highly significant occasions), but when my mum makes a visitation, she'll often show up also in my sister's dream in a synchronous and similar fashion (saying the same words, wearing the same clothes, in the same peculiar setting, evincing the same distinctive behavior), making it impossible for either of us to dismiss the experience as "just a dream."

If "dreams" lend themselves to multi-level interpretation, the possibilities of DREAM interpretation are endlessly rich and rewarding. Without contradicting any of the very insightful "what does it mean?" discussion to date or diminishing the importance of the concrete messages you received, let me just wonder if the children in danger (under water-emotion/in peril of suffocation (grief-sadness)) are literally who they seem to be, or if the kids could perhaps be the child parts of the adult who is striving to save them... could they be you? (Something about the youngest being "stuck in cement" (a rather noir drowning image, eh?), and then the sisterly touch magically freeing the child and awakening the dreamer to a flood of tears... and that after mum assured you it would be ok between you and sis...)

One year is a significant anniversary and an intensely short time to mourn, especially in societies -- like ours -- that provide us few rituals and demand we make our mourning brief. Sometimes, when the visitation is a blissful reunion linked to amnesia, waking means experiencing the shock of loss all over again -- jolting us into a cleansing flood of tears.

Thanks for this deep, magical, tender, eerie, terrific post. Rated in honor of all the good-ghosts who haunt us.
Your excellent post has been picked for the PopSmiley list.
Thank you ApacheSavage and Popsmiley!!!
Owl_Says_Who, Yes, it is often hard to remember. Trying to write them down right away for later is not always possible.

Risa Aratyr, I did question whether or not I was the child, or the chambermaid for that matter.
Thank you for your in depth description. Obviously, you understand since your mother has been visiting for quite some time.
Question to all who have had these dreams: Are you any of you non-believers?
Non-believers of what exactly? Are you asking if they believe in the afterlife? God? Jesus as Savior? Paranormal activities? Ghosts?

You gotta be more specific...
Our hostess asked: "Non-believers of what exactly? Are you asking if they believe in the afterlife? God? Jesus as Savior? Paranormal activities? Ghosts?"

One of her guests answered: "Yes."

"You gotta be more specific..." You're too fussy (as opposed to just fussy enough).

"The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in
a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,”
“Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie”
in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It
creates a hostile work environment." - George Carlin
Exactly!!!! LOL Gotta love George!
I realize I may get shredded for saying this but I'm also one who has seen ghosts (mostly when I was younger, though sometimes now too) and now have prophetic dreams regarding the dead ones. As such, your story isn't hard for me to believe. It's not some new age hype to say that energy never dies. It has to go somewhere even if it otherwise changes. I find in passive frames of mind I can still see and hear their messages. We have to be receptive. You seem to be that way in dreams.

I have an elderly great aunt who keeps asking if Grandmother (her sister) is truly dead because the conversations she has with her are so real and vivid. Even though my great aunt was at my grandmother's funeral, she seems astonished by the reality and clarity of these conversations. My thoughts are that just because my grandmother has died doesn't mean she cannot have conversations with those to whom she was close. My aunt, in her elderly frame of mind, may be more receptive to this. Even Jung did a study about people who have seen ghosts and focused the study in a small, rural town in Switzerland. His thesis was that these townspeople were able to see ghosts because no one had told them that they weren't supposed to. In Thailand after the tsunami, it was being reported that numbers of surviving Thais were seeing foreign ghosts walking the beaches. Even cabdrivers had stopped picking up foreign tourists due to some ghostly experiences. Of course, Western media portrayed this as some type of PTSD, even though ghosts are part of Thai culture. I think it's Western arrogance to assume that their culture is somehow stupid or wrong.

I know that this was hard for you. I wish I could give you a hug and make it all better. I do understand.
Take care, -- RL
I'm so sorry that you lost your mother. It's been ten years since mine died. Now my dreams of her are gentle visits with laughs over coffee. I wake feeling loved and energized. Hopefully, in time you will experience the good visits without the sister-fighting, emotionally charged feeling of pulling children out of certain death. It sounds like you're still going through the trauma of loss and conflict of your own smoking habit. Thank you for sharing. I hope you find peace and comfort.
My mother died in February 1992, three days after I hit 48. It was a relief and yet it took me over eight years to sort out the complexities of emotion so I could begin to grieve for a woman I disliked (as she disliked me, my wife, and our kids) but loved because she was my mother and she tried. I didn't stop smoking until July 2005, so she wasn't part of that. As for visitations...weirdly I still think I would like to tell her things that happen, and I have to remind myself I really can't. Yes, to a certain extent I believe we can commune with our dead, but I'm not THAT big a believer that I'm 100% certain about it.

I get apparitional visits from dead cats. I got a visit one morning in 1986 from my father, who died when I was 10. Mom hasn't been by. Probably she would not like the cooking, even though my wife is no longer doing it.
Are the similarities with my own experience real... or just a trick of the imagination? A few months ago I woke up and felt that this dream was more of a message. There were very specific elements to it which I sensed had importance and should be remembered.. I couldn't explain why. The specific elements were waking to see, through a window, overnite snow. Then going downstairs in the house that I'd lived in when my Mum was alive to see the front door open. There was a busy little lady fussing over a male person (I couldn't see who) lying one a couch. My Mum was sat, looking caring and loving on the opposite couch. I told her that I missed her and she said "I know" very clearly and lovingly.
A few weeks later I discovered that my teenage son was to have a major operation. The dream stayed in my head but eventually I forgot it until about a week after his op. We were detained in hospital because he had a complication and I was so drained and worried. I was staying at the hospital on a put-up-bed by his side and I was at my final straw I think when I went down into the restaurant for some breakfast. As I sat, feeling like I would not be able to cope I looked out of the window to see the same snow lying as I'd seen in my dream months earlier. It brought back the feeling of seeing Mum lovingly watching the boy and I felt her strength wash over me. When I returned the docs gave him the all-clear to go home.
Maybe co-incidence but I don't care. I felt, at that moment of isolation and despair that I was not alone. I remembered that good things happen and I felt positive because of this.
Who knows?