I can soooo do this job! You've watched Rick on PBS, right? He travels all over Europe filming his adventures, giving us travel tips and hints. I'm thinkin' "Middle Aged Woman Traveling!" Yes, I know there is that one travel show with that little, petite thing with the short hair whose name escapes me right now, but honestly, she is just too damned perky! We want a real woman traveler. Not so bubbly, but more realistic, damn it! Sort of like an older Sex in The City woman who can show you where to find the really good bargains on shoes, scarves and handbags in Rome, where to find great sex without getting STDs in Paris, how to spot royalty in Gstaad, and how to tell which Australian men are really hung. This would be a show for after 9 PM when the kiddies are in bed. A modern day Sex and The Single Woman! Only, probably a lot less sex.

Let's face it, late night television needs a pick me up! And there are no women anywhere to be found on late night unless you have cable TV and have access to raunchy (and often hilarious) and crude, Chelsea Handler. She's made it work for herself but she doesn't travel the world! Women of a certain age want excitement! They know this may be their last chance to get out there and live life like there is no tomorrow, but they don't want to lose their divorce settlements doing it! And we can't all be Elizabeth Gilbert, running around beaches in Bali hooking up with middle-aged men who have been living in a hut for years.

I could interview all the interesting people while visiting different countries. I would love to find out what the French President's ex-wives really thinks of Carla Bruni. Granted, Carla seems like a perfectly beautiful and charming young woman, but Nicky's exes just have to want to flatten her sometimes. Now, his first ex has to share her grandchildren with her! Wouldn't you love to hear from her? And how about the guy that runs Toyota? Hello!!! What were you thinking? Or even women in our own country, like David Letterman's wife. "How much is he paying you to stay exactly?"

Travel Channel!! Come and get me!!! I am so ready!!