Before I moved to Portland and sold my car, I used to drive everywhere, just like most people do. Being the sort of person I am, I developed a bunch of pet peeves about driving. I don't remember many of them now, but one that leaps to mind is the Jersey Clump.
When I lived on the East Coast, it would always bother me when I was on a highway, and another car would catch up to me at a faster speed, and then pull in front of me and slow down. This happened a lot. Even worse, when I pulled around that car so that I could continue at the speed I was going, that car would speed up again.
It was as if the driver's goal was to stay as close to my car as possible. My Driver's Ed training taught me to keep as much distance between myself and other cars as possible, so this was incredibly frustrating.
Sometimes, a bunch of cars would get together and keep doing this to each other. The effect of their behavior was to draw other, innocent drivers into their group, because they would speed up and surround any car that tried to go faster than the group. I noticed that when this happened, most of the cars had New Jersey license plates; I began calling this phenomenon a Jersey Clump.
Now that I don't own a car, I've lost all my old pet peeves. Being the sort of person I am, I started casting about for new ones.
One that developed quickly has to do with the building I work in. I work on the 29th floor. The bank of elevators I use to get to work stops on floors 18-30. The 30th floor is a restaurant, and no one goes there early in the morning, so I effectively work on the top floor that our elevator bank serves.
When I arrive in the morning, no one else is ever waiting for the elevator. Invariably, three or four people (who mostly were standing around the lobby) enter the elevator foyer after I do, and of course, they all get off on lower floors. This is very suspicious. If there were always going to be three or four people on the elevator with me, the law of averages would dictate that some of them would enter the elevator foyer before me, and some after. But this never happens. They always enter after I do. A more paranoid person would conclude that this couldn't possibly happen by chance, and someone must be engineering this situation on purpose. Thankfully, I'm not that paranoid. However, I can't think of another explanation. I'm still trying to find one.
A less sinister pet peeve came about when I began walking to most places around Portland. It's a wonderful city to walk around, and a lot of people do it. The sidewalks are all built so that the curb at the intersection is curved - the corner isn't sharp. So, one edge of the sidewalk always juts out into the intersection more than the other.
No matter whether it's the left side or the right that juts out farther into the intersection, pedestrians congregate toward that side. The funny thing is that people will often walk to the inside edge of the crosswalk even if they have to walk back to the outside part to continue where they were going once they cross the street. It's hard to convey this without a picture, but what you end up with is people walking a few feet out of their way on both sides of the street because they think they're getting farther into the intersection before crossing, even though it costs them steps in the long run.
If they thought about what they were doing, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't do it. This makes it perfect fodder for one of my pet peeves.
The frustrating thing is that I have to work a lot harder to find pet peeves, since I don't drive anymore, and the ones I'm developing are much lamer than when I was driving.
Maybe the tradeoff is worth it. I've never encountered an Oregon Clump.


Salon.com
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