NOTE: This revised post is in honor of Matt Paust because he confessed to having once been a mime hater...now he is confused. This post may add to his confusion...something mimes love to do.
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There a few things about me that people could hate: I am short. Some people are aware I can look up their nostrils and that annoys them. But it isn't something I enjoy. I wish people would just clean their noses regularly. I am white, my husband is black and we have children so we aren't "just friends". People could still hate that, but now days they rarely stare and never spit openly. I used to be a Christian, but now I'm a Baha'i. People have warned me I will burn in Hell for this one. Even so they will still smile. They just avoid eye contact so I won't steal their souls. But what most people really hate is that I am a mime.Lots of people hate mimes and they don't even try to hide it. When the truth comes out they immediately start telling mime jokes and expect me to laugh as if it's the first time I've heard them. Then they demand I put myself in a box. If I politely refuse they start gathering a crowd and announce "She's a mime!" and the crowd starts chanting "Do the Box! Do the Box!" I reluctantly do it, feeling like a mime whore. If I then try to move the conversation in another direction they'll say "Wait a minute! You can't talk! You're a MIME. You have to MIME it." I mime puking on them and run away.
I was once hired to be a statue at a rich man's birthday party. I went believing this sophisticated crowd would respect the artistry. While amused guests looked on, I was kissed by a drunk, decorated with trash by yet another drunk, and peed on by a dog. At least I assumed it was a dog. I didn't look.
The most dangerous venue I have performed at is an Outdoor Festival. The “No Talking While in White Face” rule is well known and mime haters use it to their advantage. This is the perfect opportunity for them to indoctrinate the children. During my performances children who enthusiastically join me on stage are heckled and encouraged to poke me, kick me and do other things I'd rather not to talk about. There is a moment that the children seem confused and hesitate following the orders. Then they understand. This is just a mime. You can do anything to her and she won't say a word.
I had not planned to become a mime. It was not my original career goal. It is simply the law of "cause and effect" realized. Adults in my life were always telling me to shut up. When you shut up a child something is going to happen. I didn’t do drugs, plan bomb sites or slowly poison my parents. All I did was paint my face whiter than it was and move with intention.
My dream is that one day the world will come to accept me and my fellow mimes and direct their hate to those who truly deserve it: Clowns.
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Dawn Jefferson
Desnee Flakes
divorcedpauline
RonP01
LammChops
Barbara O'Brien
Salon.com
Comments
My dislike I shroud in quiet stares at the back of mimes, never when they can see me. I don't wave or smile if they catch my eye, but I do not touch them or approach.
Much like crazy people, I hope for a world when there will be no mimes....or clowns...or those terrible things that crawl around on my roof when I'm trying to sleep.
Children are abhorrant little creatures are they not?
Now, how do you mime flipping someone off?
Jeannette-Yes, I did see that! My kids were rolling around the floor and gasping for air
Chaplin-you with the most honorable of names-flipping people off is the most basic of the basic mime movements. When people do that...they have become mimes by definition.
Yes, Robin Williams began as a mime which helped him land the Mork role...mimes and aliens...who can tell the difference?
Andy, you should really take care of those roof mimes. They can be quite unsanitary if left unchecked. And then they die in your walls and that smell never goes away... Speaking of which, I'd better go check my traps.
I agree about clowns, btw. Rated
Standing there in front of everyone she rather loudly informed the hecklers that THEY didn't have to live with HER mother and HER mother would have her on restriction until her next birthday at least if she did what they wanted. Several of the hecklers tried convincing her that I would "never find out" and she pointed at me and said "She's sitting right over there."
Hopefully there are a few more parents out there who discourage this kind of completely unacceptable behavior.
Teendoc-I totally understand. There are mimes that creep me out too. I try not to be creepy but sometimes that's hard to control.
Kit-thank you! I love the thought of being fascinating.
Mrs. Raptor-I LOVE it!!! You rock and so does your daughter!!!
clowns are scary on many levels.
when my daughter was two years old, we got tickets to see Marcel Marceau in downtown St. Louis. As usual, I packed her a little snack, in this case, some freshly baked cookies. I don't know why it had never occurred to me, but the entire auditorium was completely silent. Marcel's toe tapping in ballet slippers was clearly audible. Of course, a two year old cannot be silent. Every time she opened her mouth to speak, which was often, I popped a cookie into it, like feeding a bird. She ate the whole dozen. We left at Intermission.
that's my mime story, and i'm sticking to it.
But I think you hit on it with the comment about knowing what lies in the depths of my soul. That's why cops often get more information out of perps by simply staring at them than with harsh questioning. You might consider a vocational shift, as you're already hated and can get the free donuts.
Or you can learn to walk on stilts and try out as a Buckingham Palace guard. I understand they must put up with a lot of abuse from tourists without acknowledging their desire to stomp, shoot, slash or at least extend a finger in defense of their dignity.
You know, I'm glad we had this little chat. I've been able to transfer my mime hate to clown hate, and I think we can now proceed, singing triumphantly and marching side by side, to build a better world! rated with huge huge relief
Dianaana-I can see her little mouth stuffed with cookies. Marceau was a purist. No music. Now me I prefere a little music to cover up unintentioned noises...I have never farted on stage, but there is always that fear.
Truthfully, I don't really hate clowns. I think hating anyone or anything is really rather silly. But must say I don't like being mistaken for one (that would be all about my ego). People see the white face make-up and assume "clown" without realizing that mimes apply make up as a mask. Clowns (I've been told by professional ones-yes we are on speaking terms) are to apply make up to every part of their body which is not covered by the costume. A trained professional clown will use make up the color of their own flesh if they are creating a mask effect, or a hobo, etc. A woman once "recognized" me at a store and told me she had seen me perform and it so inspired her that she enrolled in "Ringling Brothers Clown College". She had me to thank for that. I smiled graciously (at least I think it was gracious) and thanked her for letting me know.
Once when I was in London, I saw one of the Beefeaters, who are also instructed to not react to the public, get tired of the abuse and suddenly take two steps forward and grab the handle of his saber. That put a stop to it!
Terrific, funny piece. And that last line was one for the ages.
Thanks for enlightening me.
R
Fay-you are so sweet (along with Kit who also didn't know) I feel like I have robbed you of your innocense...but you were bound to find out sooner or later.
Donna-ahhh...I feel it...thank you
Linda-Thanks, and yes, I know it was a cheap shot. I may regret this.
cartouche-I'm glad you are still laughing, but be careful. Picking and laughing at the same time causes injuries.
And I was accosted by a woman at a party once who insisted on showing me her mime character.
Other than that, I'm cool with mimes, so much so that I sometimes imagine I'm one on the train at night. See post "A Day in the Life of a Public Transit Mime."
Lezlie
L-glad you love us both. That is indeed wonderful. I assume you have never seen the movie "Killer Clowns from Outer Space". Avoid it if you want to remain a clown lover.
r
Parents: let your kids express themselves, or else they'll become mimes.
In fact, since it's been shown that drug education isn't that effective perhaps we should try this poster:
Kids who do drugs become mimes.
enjoyed the tone of this. r