Mimetalker's Blog

a mime is a terrible thing to waste.


Illinois, USA
January 26
On this blog: All words (other than identified quotations) © Sharon Nesbit-Davis, All rights reserved. *********************************** ********************************** You can find me on Facebook: Sharon Nesbit-Daivs, or "The Mime Writes" Logo Design by Dianaani ********************************** I work as the Education & Community Engagement Director of a Regional Arts Council which means I beg "the deciders" to fund and support the arts for everyone, not just the rich. *********************************** I am also a mime. For those that hate mimes, I understand. But you'll never find me annoying people on the street, unless I'm living there. I'm a "concert mime" ...which means you have to buy a ticket. I haven't done much mime lately...I'd rather be writing. *********************************** I've been married to my one and only since 1976. Still happy. Still in love. Two kids, eight grandkids. In college I became a Baha'i (a world religion whose main theme is unity). It keeps me relatively sane in a world gone mad.


Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 5, 2012 6:13PM

Post Menopausal Woman...Snap, Cackle, Pop

Rate: 24 Flag


 menopause fan


I celebrated my fifth decade by performing a one-woman show entitled "Mime in Mental Pause." I wasn't there yet. But I was ready. Unrelenting pain, blood clots, and ruined panties were not fun, no matter how I adjusted my attitude. The universe noticed and took pity. Soon after my 50th birthday my periods diminished with barely a moan. I think it was the soy.


I do not regret being past child bearing age. I'm content to view it from afar...or close up when my daughter pops the babies out. I thought it would bother me to see her in pain, but it doesn't. I am either slightly sadistic or just happy to have grandchildren. But not once did I wish to trade places.  

With the perspective of a few years free of "Auntie Flow" there is something I miss. I miss the power of "PMS" (Pre Menstrual Sinfulness) I did not need to announce I had it. My husband watched for it. There were times I cried easy and long and hard. When asked what was wrong my tongue jumped out and slapped him upside the head. Never mind what happened when he didn't ask. 

After I detected a shift in the earth's orbit and said we’d all be dead in three days so we didn't need to renew our life insurance, my husband asked if my period was coming. I chastised his sexist remark and he apologized. Two days later I hid the tampon dispensers at the bottom of the trash. He caught me with a heating pad under the blanket. He’s a good man and never said “I told you so”, but he isn’t perfect. He smiled too much. 

A couple years ago my daughter-in-law invited me to a women's gathering. I was the only post menopausal woman there and the topic was our periods. We shared how we learned about it, our first one and embarrassing moments. The stories were funny and sad and what I expected until a young woman said she loved her periods. Really. Just loved them. She felt a oneness with all women. She meditated on this life giving essence and was thankful for her role. She felt creative and spirit filled during this time. She did not mask the pain. She welcomed it. Other women nodded agreement.  I laughed. And then told my stories of fainting and trips to emergency rooms and my gratitude to be done with them. They exchanged amused glances I recognized from my youth, when I respected elders but knew they didn't understand...and never could.  

They were wrong. I do understand. What this woman expressed is the way it once was. Thinking about it makes me want a "do over", but only if I can have a moon lodge.  

In Native American tradition there was a special lodge for women in their periods. Other women cared for their children and cooked for their husbands. They brought her favorite food, then circled the lodge and prayed for her. She was free from work, could rest, talk with spirits and create. She returned with new songs and geometric designs and renewed energy.  

Western observers surmised the women were involuntarily isolated and considered unclean. It was never that. When asked, the medicine men explain women have a "built in" purification process. Men put themselves through sacred ceremonies to attain what women have naturally. Women in their moon cycles do not participate in sacred ceremonies because their power is too strong. It’s been known to send spirits running and crashing into things.  

Without periods my life is balanced and calm. Maybe too calm. I miss not knowing what thoughts may scream their way past polite filters. The power of that made me feel beautiful. I knew I wasn’t. When pimples erupt on a middle aged face you don't claim outer beauty. But there were moments I felt like a warrior woman. She was magnificent. I wish I had honored her more, instead of reaching for the Pamprin®.


 Of course there is still time. My warrior woman didn't die with PMS. She morphed into Big Fat Mama: Post Menopausal Juicy Crone. No one knows what that means, but with a perfectly executed head snap, and a cackle then a pop from any number of bodily regions, it’s scary enough to have some fun.   




photos from google images 


A version of this appeared in "Red Silk" A Red Tent Anthology, published by Womanspace, 2011 and on "Red Tent the Movie" web site.

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This is a revision of an older post. I deleted the original for no good reason...just one of those "cackle" days.
You got me scared, Sharon. Even more scared of mimes now than ever. Snap, cackle and pop, eh? No wonder the spirits run and crash into things.
Yes Matt. Be afraid. Very afraid.
Truly fascinating. I love the idea of "Women in their moon cycles do not participate in sacred ceremonies because their power is too strong."
Since I experienced menopause one day ...after surgery....I was happy to have all the problems gone. I had been experiencing some hot flashes before so I am familiar with part of it. But the heavy bleeding, clots, the fear of accidents are behind me. Life changes are meant to be.
That's a great Native American tradition...and then coming out of it with new songs and geometric designs and energy. I wonder about the geometric designs, because I am forever imagining patterns and designs. I wonder why we're made like that? I had to laugh at Matt's comment...great post! :)
My mom went flat out crazy (not DSM4 crazy, but she's a different person, and not a pleasantly different one, either) after "the change". Glad to know that you got all regulated when it happened, but the change in hormone creation is more than some women's psyche's can manage...even with all the supplements that are supposed to fix that stuff.
One of the privileges of age is that on occasion you are allowed to live life without filters... this is the power of the crone as well as the power of crazy old geezer. The crone is a much more traditional multicultural identity whereas the geezer is more often defined in America by the images of Walter Brennan and Gabby Hayes. We do share the snap, crackle pop.
Western observers surmised the women were involuntarily isolated and considered unclean. It was never that....Women in their moon cycles do not participate in sacred ceremonies because their power is too strong. It’s been known to send spirits running and crashing into things.

I like that explanation SO much more than "Ew, you're unclean" =o) for women who were undergoing a completely natural, normal part of life. The moon lodge sounds like a great deal to ME too. During High School, I always felt as if my cycles must have been in the control of some evil Archetypical "Mean Girl" to cause me the maximum inconvenience and humiliation. I like a lot of things about being a woman. But Menarche was never one of them.

I also knew women who "loved" their periods. That's just effed up.
Gotta tell ya - talking about periods (let alone reading about them) has never been something that I felt interested in. What you did here was make it so interesting and entertaining and fascinating - I have to hand it to you. And being a post-menopausal woman myself, it really resonates. Well done.
So deservant of the EP this write got. I enjoyed this so much. So much of life is appreciating where you are, instead of wishing ahead in time for this better thing that is gonna happen. Being gracefilled with where you are can be hard work, negetivity and stress has to subside, so all your natural self can come forward. You made me realize I need to "shed" more and relax and shine within who I am NOW.(64 yrs old and loving it) PS OS wont let me change my profile pic, it is 10 yrs old and I really WANT to change it..haha! Thanks for this Mime.
I went through an early menopause because of some chemotherapy and always thought the loss of some hair was more than an even trade for no more periods. The balance might have shifted if I had been giving up monthly visits to a lodge. Kudos to those Native American women who managed a week off each month.
Congratulations on the EP, he said, with the greatest of respect -- nay, reverence. OK: Fear.
I always felt weird among the "circle of women chats" as I never had issues with periods and couldn't believe how lucky I was to have the power to bring Life to Earth (see what I mean? Say that at a women's gathering and things will be thrown at you!)
-- now that I'm 52 and have no more periods, I like it too! I feel so much more calm while I feel more psychic, somehow, without going into details....
I realize more and more how much power women inherently have, more than I ever dreamed.
I must say also that I do listen to my body and maybe that's why I'm happy in menopause. If a food or drink doesn't work well anymore, I get rid of it. No wisdom or judging for anyone else, just what has worked for me.
Down to beans and rice, water, white tea, fruit and veggies pretty much, but I feel great : )
I'm in the process of becoming post-menopausal, being hit with really intense periods of inappropriate warmth now. I found an accordian fan about 3" long when folded up so it's a perfect fit for my pocket. I still get twinges of wishing for progeny but mostly I'm glad I'm almost done being ruled by fibroids & migraines. I need to start planning my menoparty. Thanks for a post celebrating moving on.
Before the availability of birth control, a woman who had regular sex very likely had few periods because she was either pregnant or lactating for most of her childbearing years. I'm ready for a new look at women's health that takes into account that lots of periods and PMS may be the "unnatural" state. My PMS was hideous and lasted for about ten days each month. I thought this was "natural" and didn't know life could be better until after a hysterectomy, necessitated by years of raging, unbalanced hormones. I cry when I think about what 35 years of my life could have been. No woman needs to suffer and it's about time we make that clear.
One of the good things about menopause is the relative increased proportion of testosterone to estrogen, making for huge, long orgasms. Take advantage. It makes up for the downside.
Joan-thanks, I remember the first time it was explained to me it felt like magic

LSD-life changes are meant to be...an meant to be honored

clay ball-that's cool you see patterns...that's hard for me

MalcolmXY-sorry to hear that. It must be hard on her and those who love her.

jmac-yes, one of the great rewards of aging is removing the dang filters...I noticed my parents becoming more honest and outspoken as they aged.

Shiral-agree :)


Kate-thank you. And thank you for sharing your lovely poem today

cindy-Yes! The 60's are delightful. Maya Angelou says the 80's are even better. My goal is to enjoy every day.
jlasthre-it’s always something, isn’t it? those native women had to work harder to keep life going than i ever had. Imagining how much they must have welcomed their moon time makes me smile.

oryoki bowl :D

boanerges1...thanks. I love scaring people. Just ask my children.

just thinking-yes. And with power comes responsibility...but you already know that.

just phyllis-a meno party! What fun! Be sure to write a post about it and let me know.

cycling fool-yes, agreed. No woman should have to suffer through that. I once had horrid pain and cramps and my mother and her doctor said it was in my head. I learned to suffer through it. Later it was discovered I had a misshapen uterus. My (new) doctor said it would have caused horrible cramps and asked why I hadn’t put that on my medical history. I wanted to hug him.

jackie2-so that’s the reason! My husband claimed the credit... ;o
I'm still in peri menopause at 51 and ready to be done with flo. No hot flashes yet...

I'm glad I read through the comments to Jackie2's. I'm thinking this is pretty marvelous!
My period definitely gives a rhythm to my life...and a very good excuse to eat whatever I want for a few days preceding it and for the first few days of it. I often wonder what I'll do without that guilt-free indulgence, as well as the surge of inspiration that often comes to me just before - but then again, it is kind of a pain, too. I once went to Disneyworld while having my period. Even the most magical place on earth couldn't block out cramps, bloating, and discomfort from heat....
........(¯`v´¯) (¯`v´¯)
............... *•.¸.•* ♥⋆★•❥ Thanx & Smiles (ツ) & ♥ L☼√Ξ ☼ ♥
⋆───★•❥ ☼ .¸¸.•*`*•.♥ (ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★(ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★
"When asked what was wrong my tongue jumped out and slapped him upside the head. Never mind what happened when he didn't ask."

Glad you both survived!
Asia-yes, this is highly valuable information ;0

Alysa-by then you won’t need an excuse to indulge...you’ll feel deserving

Alegis-♥ (ˆ◡ˆ) ♥

At Home Pilgrim-yes, very we are both quite fortunate to have survived...so wonderful to see you have returned, but it's a little weird. Just yesterday I was thinking about how much I missed you around here, and was going to send you an email today...strange but true.
I liked PMS, which I got maybe four or five times in my life, buy only if I didn't have a chance to exercise as much as usual. I liked the chaotic energy of it. But then, I didn't have to deal with it every month, nor with much of anything, including cramps. My periods were as well behaved as a Victorian lady of impeccable breeding. Like JT, I had no menstrual horror stories to share at a girl gathering.

Menopause, on the other hand, was a vicious hellion like me, though oddly, I wasn't really any meaner than usual. I beat menopause back with lovely, lovely hormones. No suffering for the sake of being "natural" for me. Hell, I'm largely made of replacement parts anyway. If it's fixable, I fix it.
The only time I "loved" my period was when I was afraid it wouldn't come! Women like that one make me want to smack 'em. Not once have I mourned.

Your writing here, great as always, reminds me of Nora Ephron's. You are so funny.

[r] outstanding!!! appreciate your take on this. years ago when i went for acupuncture for my back suddenly my periods became extra-heavy. when i told the acupuncture doctor she was thrilled and said that it showed renewal-- rebirth for me -- and health and to celebrate it, acupuncture was renewing my whole being and body. I believed her. went with the flow (hah!)

intrepid for women like you -- still in this day and age -- to write about this. when i was growing up it was a major SECRET and secrets of course meant SHAME. But the subject such a strong common denominator among women.

best, libby
Fun story. Cackle. Cackle. Cackle.
I liked this very much. I am fascinated with women and interested, all from a safe distance.