When I was 40 years old I saw the Carlos Saura flamenco ballet movie El Amor Brujo for the first time. I was stunned. I had never seen or heard anything like it. The movie features the magnificent Cristina Hoyos and Antonio Gades, who passed away in 2004.

After I saw the movie, I had only one thought: Must Learn Flamenco.

But there was a problem: I couldn't sing, dance, or play guitar. Undeterred by such trivialities, I sought out a flamenco teacher. In fact, I spent the next five years in search of a flamenco teacher. I finally discovered that the flamenco guitarist Julia Banzi, one of the few female flamenco guitarists, lived near me and was taking students.

I was 45 years old by then, hardly an ideal age for starting to learn an instrument. But I thought "if not now, then when?" So I bought an inexpensive classical guitar and signed up. My God, I had no idea what I was getting into.

The first year was hell, for two reasons: first, my fingers hurt all the time, and second, I discovered that I didn't have much talent for guitar. My musicianship in general was equally lacking. But so what.

I studied with Julia for 18 months, inflicting my wretched playing on the poor woman while she patiently endured. Then she moved to California to pursue a Ph.D. in ethnomusicology, which she recently completed. I like to think that she went to California only because of an academic interest, and not because my poor playing drove her from the state.

I then signed on as one of Dale Fine's flamenco students. Dale was an accomplished guitarist before he ever came to flamenco. Many guitarists who come to flamenco from another style never really "sound flamenco," because the techniques are very different. But Dale sounds like he grew up with flamenco.

Dale practices with his students what might be called a great "economy of praise." When he says "that wasn't too bad," he's really gushing. But the ultimate praise is when he says "I see you practiced last week." I've only gotten a few of those in my eight years as his student.

Since studying with Dale I went through three guitars. My friend and luthier John Shelton once told me that "your guitar should always be faster, louder, and better than you are." I currently play one of his flamenco guitars, a "blanca" flamenco with spruce top and cypress back and sides. And yes, it is faster, louder, and better than I am -- or ever will be.

So ten years down the road, now at age 55, I have arrived at the lofty level of what I would describe as being a mediocre intermediate flamenco student. I like to play. It appears that people like to listen to me. But I know that I am not worthy to dust the guitar case of a truly good flamenco guitarist.

And the problem is that most people don't actually know what good flamenco music is. They think that anything with a "Spanish sound" is flamenco. It isn't. They think that the Gipsy Kings and Ottmar Liebert are playing flamenco music. Well, they are, but only the rumba, one of the less-important flamenco forms, or "palos" as they are called.

Unfortunately there is little actual flamenco music available. In recent years it appears that someone at the Borders headquarters hates flamenco, and has actively worked -- and succeeded -- to destroy flamenco as a separate entity in the International Music section.

The best place for anything flamenco in the U.S. is at Flamenco Connection -- http://www.flamencoconnection.com/ I have no relationship to them except as a customer.

For anyone who has not heard modern flamenco guitar, I offer the following two YouTube videos. The first is Vicente Amigo playing a very modern tarantas that turns into a solea. The second is a young Tomatito playing por bulerias, another of the flamenco palos.