MissMisk

MissMisk
Location
U.S.
Birthday
April 03
Title
fiction writer
Bio
Author of the supernatural horror novel KNOCK KNOCK published by Omnium Gatherum Media, and a three novella series related to KNOCK KNOCK. My short stories have been published in Supernatural Tales, Phantasmagorium (forthcoming), Horror Bound Online Magazine, Identity Theory, Other Voices, The Absent Willow Review, and in the anthology DETRITUS. I am a member of the speculative fiction group Wily Writers and a supporting member of the Horror Writers Association. As an undergraduate I won two Swarthout prizes for short stories and edited a quarterly fiction magazine. I earned a Master of Fine Arts at the University of Washington and received two National Endowment for the Arts fellowships, for short fiction and drama. One of my scripts, "my new friends (are so much better than you)" was nominated for a Steinberg/ American Theatre Critics Association New Play Award and is being adapted as a Web video directed by SJ Chiro.

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OCTOBER 21, 2009 6:19PM

So You Want To Be A Writer

Rate: 11 Flag

I have always loved the hilarious, classic Kurt Vonnegut essay about writing conferences Teaching the Unteachable. It contains one of my favorite Vonnegut quotes, which I have paraphrased for years:

"The idea of a conference for prose writers is an absurdity. They don't confer, can't confer. It's all they can do to drag themselves past one another like great, wounded bears."

Every time someone new to writing asks me if I recommend this conference or that one, I toss this quote their way. I don't do it to discourage them--although, if I were a more compassionate person, I probably ought to. I do it to remind them that writing, like anything else, can be practiced by many people but only practiced really well by those who have the personality and innate aptitude for it.

Of course, you can't find out if you have an aptitude until you try it. So, people ought to try it if they want to. Unfortunately, a lot of people who have no writer genes whatsoever continue to pursue the art long after their lack of talent becomes apparent. The tragedy is not that the Web is clogged with hopefuls who can't write, but that they might never find out where their true talent lies while they waste themselves typing instead of writing.

Underwood

Vonnegut doesn't say that these folks should quit. Nor do I. Because if they did, and conferences disappeared, where would writers spend their summers, and how would they pay their bar tab?

This essay was published in 1967. The world has changed a lot since then, in terms of technology. And there are more people than there were back then. But human nature stays the same. As long as there are people who want to be writers, there will be people who make money telling them how.

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Comments

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No, but I think I can dance!
Couldn't resist that!
As a writer, I am self taught, save for the Franciscan nuns who taught me English and writing in high school and college. Oh, and the Dominicans!
So, no time for conferences, classes or otherwise, instructional tutorials.
I can take criticism and will continue to muddle through with my heart felt attempts at writing for amusement. Mostly, mine.
Just Cathy, I think that's the best reason.
I love Kurt Vonnegut. I believe that writing is like anything else as Andy Warhol said, "It's work."
He's one of my heroes, too. Here's another KV quote I like: "Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the Universe."
I hope and pray that I will never face up to the truth of this essay. I'll pretend for as long as I can that I have talent -- more than a lot of people -- not as much as some. Thanks MissMisk.
skeletnwmn, I'm with you! I will cling to my delusions about my writing for as long as possible. They may be wrong, but they make life so much more pleasant.
I love this post and Vonnegut's editorial. Who needs writers' conferences when you can just get together at home and drink wine?
having blown a bit of money at a writer's conference last year geared more to the business side of things but nevertheless telling me what I could have read for free online, this post stung - but only a little. Mostly I found it funny and true.
Nikki, I hear you.

I felt the sting of my own truth at a writer's conference years ago. I was young and foolish, and shared my scholarship to attend the event with a boyfriend who pretty much ruined it for me with his wounded bear routine. He kept wandering up to people like the fiction editor of Esquire, asking: "So, do you think the novel is dead?"

Once I found my way to the writers' bar, and got to know the bartender on a first name basis, things got a lot better.

Nowadays, I would advise anyone with a computer to seek the information they want, for free, online. I imagine there are conference darlings who get discovered and published, but unless you're already friends with the event organizers, it's about as likely as being spotted by a talent scout while shopping and immediately cast in a film opposite Julia Roberts.

Writing is a lot of hard work, with occasional reasons to celebrate. I only stick with it because I have no other talent whatsoever.
Always happy to share a Vonnegut article!