If you happened to read my previous post, you know that I attempted to move to New York. Turns out, I ran out of couches on which to crash before I was able to start generating income (I knew it was a long shot), but it was a great experience, and I'll be back (in retrospect, three hundred dollars probably isn't really enough money to really make it there)...

So, I'm in Minneapolis, staying with a friend until the winds of fortune blow favorably for me again. And I got to thinking--in all my vagabonding, I've formed very specific relationships with each of the cities I've explored. Because really, when you move somewhere new, it's a lot like dating--you get to know the personality of the place, try to figure out if the two of you are meant to be together...sometimes you have to break up with a place, and sometimes you just end up with some great memories. I decided to reminisce about the cities I've been 'involved' with.

Los Angeles: Ahh, my first love. I really only started seeing you because you were my neighbor growing up. We met when I went to UCLA, and I thought you were fun. But a guy needs more than fun, and besides, you were always dealing with some sort of drama--earthquakes, fires, mudslides--I needed something more stable in a relationship. It wasn't till after I left you that I realized how shallow and superficial you really are, but I wish you well--I'm sure you'll find others who get lured by your easy charm.

Minneapolis (the first time):  My first grownup relationship with a city. You encouraged me with your midwestern nurturing...because of you I was able to pursue my career. You cooked me wild rice soup and were always so nice...but like a typical man, I left because you were too nice. I thought I'd outgrown you, and needed have a little more action in my life. And let's be honest--you can be really cold.

Boston: I'll admit it--I was a jerk when we first got together. In my late twenties, making good money as a comedian, I was cocky and full of myself...I used you and had no intention of staying with you. We weren't right for each other, and to be honest I always resented your provincial ways.

Miami: 1987...You were hot. And you got me into a lot of trouble. I've got no hard feelings about the time we spent together--but this was just a fling, all sex and drugs and no romance. I actually saw you again recently, and thought you looked good.

Los Angeles (again): I had no business seeing you again, and during our brief reunion I didn't feel like I had ever really known you. Maybe it's my insecurities--you're almost too pretty for me, and though I still think about you, and I still want you, I can't see you again.

Portland: After living on the edge for so many years, I found you, and I fell in love. You were so comfortable and low-maintenance. But ultimately, we just spent too much time getting stoned, and I was worried I was becoming complacent. With you, Portland, I didn't have the drive to accomplish much, but it was cool hanging out.

Chicago: Now you were one helluva lady. A shot and a beer kinda gal who could still dress up and dazzle--in a simpler time, you'd have been called a 'broad' and it would have been a compliment. We spent three years together, and I think we could have made a go of it, but then I lost my job, my health became an issue, and I became a burden. It just seemed best to move on--guess it was a mid-life thing, and I had to find myself again.

New York: You know, I had heard about you from friends. Friends who thought we'd be great together. Exciting. Open to anything. We only had two weeks, but what a whirlwind it was (you probably don't remember, but I actually met you ten years before--at the time you didn't even notice me, and I left without so much as a goodbye). I think we might give it another try someday. But I'm not ready to commit to you yet. You demand more than I've got to give, and let's be real--you're used to someone spending a lot of money on you. When I get my shit together, though, I will definitely look you up.

Minneapolis (again):  Why do I always come back to you when the wheels fall off? But here I am. You're not the most glamorous city--I've certainly had wilder nights and more adventurous times, but right now your even temper and Lutheran reserve offer the kind of peace I need. You keep taking me back, even though you know that if my muse beckons, I'll probably leave you again. But for now, maybe this afternoon we'll make a hot dish, and later we can bundle up like mummies and walk to the Sculpture Garden.

Spoonbridge and Cherry