- Minneapolis, Minnesota,
- March 30
- Michael Dane is America's favorite middle-aged, Jewish, bisexual social satirist. Or, at least one of them. Often referring to himself in the third person, he used to do standup comedy on the road, but now he just writes down funny things.
His book of food humor, called "Does This Taste Funny? A Half-Baked Look at Food and Foodies," is available at Amazon.com
MY RECENT POSTS
- What Do You Say to a Father
You Never Met?
June 15, 2013 10:52PM
- parenthetically crazy
June 04, 2013 11:55PM
- Huge Scientific News (that
didn't actually happen)
March 19, 2013 08:43PM
- Is it 2016 yet?
November 12, 2012 12:33AM
- Everything I Know About Book
August 23, 2012 11:25PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Thank you...going down
this road was definitely
'that guy' did
June 16, 2013 11:55AM
- “Abrawang: but are any of
your gloves the 'God'
March 22, 2013 04:31PM
- “Mazel tov! Wonderful
March 22, 2013 12:48PM
- “Welcome back!”
March 21, 2013 01:29PM
- “Great piece of
March 21, 2013 12:26PM
- MY LINKS
I’m sure this next statement will cause me to lose any respect I may have gained from actual foodies along the way, but here goes: ‘gourmet comfort food’ is a stupid concept. I was raised on comfort food, and I’ve since learned to appreciate the nuances of fine dining… Read full post »
I’ve been pretty lucky during my ongoing cooking adventure, in that The Girlfriend has been almost entirely supportive. She’s been willing to try every crazy idea I’ve suggested, even the ones that came with disclaimers:
“I think this should taste alright—if not I can… Read full post »
If you’re following along at home, you’ll remember I visited a neurologist recently to find out why my body seems to be breaking down like a car with a just-expired warranty. Like any older car, it’s a little sluggish to respond (especially in winter), and I’ve definitely… Read full post »
In music, ‘fusion’ refers to a blending of genres, like the jazz-rock fusion of Pat Metheny, or the jazz-crap fusion of Kenny G. ‘Fusion,’ in physics, is the process by which two or more atomic nuclei join together to form a single heavier nucleus. Or, it’s how you… Read full post »
British author and philosopher G.K. Chesterton once said, “Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.” Coincidentally, an anonymous violinist in London once said, “Screw Chesterton. I wouldn’t invite him over for dinner anyway.” Me--I love music w… Read full post »
Unlike your typical fifty-something, I’d go so far as to say, overall, I’m in favor of progress. I have plenty of tech toys and gadgets that allow me to do literally dozens of things I didn’t know I needed to do. And, I actually know how to use most… Read full post »
Until yesterday, I had an irrational fear of something most cooks take in stride…baking (for anyone who thought the answer would be ‘blowing up the kitchen in yet another experiment,’ that’s not an irrational fear.) Baking, though–that’s scary. I’m not afr… Read full post »
I saw a neurologist today, and by that, I don’t mean I spotted one from a distance (“Look, there’s one now!”)—I had an appointment. If you know me, you know that I’m dealing with some health issues, and I’m irrationally afraid of going to doctors. But, tha… Read full post »
I should be planning dinner now, but all I can think about is how hot it is. In addition to the heat, the dew point makes it feel like you’re in a Tennessee Williams play. A bad high school production of a Tennessee Williams play. In the multi-purpose… Read full post »
The title of this piece makes it sound like a VH-1 style docuentary about a celebrity chef …“Next on ‘Behind the Cooking’—Paula Deen’s heart-wrenching journey from heroin addiction to ham hock soup.” That’s not where I’m going with this. And f… Read full post »
I used to have an easy answer if someone asked me, “So, what do you do?” I was a comic. Just two syllables–pointed, like a killer comedy bit. Now, it’s not so easy. Now that I'm not performing a lot, I either have to be way too broad,… Read full post »
Ever since I traded ‘being crippled by anxiety disorder’ for ‘teaching myself how to cook,’ (I think I come out ahead there) I’ve started to read more about food instead of, you know, just eating it. And there are parts of the foodie ‘scene’ about which I had… Read full post »
I've never been too worried about my age, and I'm sure when asked "When did you first start feeling old?," everyone can point to something different. For me, the first time I sensed a ticking clock was one day about a year ago, when I looked at my hands. See, you… Read full post »
The more I’ve cooked, the more adventurous my cooking experiments have become. I’m not exactly making oxtail soup, but if dinner at home used to be Denny’s, now it’s a little more Applebee’s. Minus the mozzarella sticks and annoyingly friendly waiters.
Some people en… Read full post »
Weird name, Elmer. It probably sounded old-fashioned a hundred years ago. But I knew an Elmer once, only thirty years ago. He was my step-dad.
I never knew my biological father, and I deliberately use the word ‘biological’ and not ‘real.’ The man who was ‘really&rsquo… Read full post »
I recently joined a Facebook group dedicated to my high school, and as we chatted back and forth, the names of my teachers came spinning at me like calendar pages in a film noir. Then I realized that, while I remembered the teachers, I wasn’t as able to… Read full post »
I've never done the 'reposting' thing, but in honor of Bob's 70th, here's a piece from the future...
The most eagerly-anticipated new album of 2035 was released this week, as ninety-four year old Bob Dylan's “The Bootleg Series Vol. 12: Crap I Never Planned To Release” hit the airw/…
For some reason, my neighborhood has more labradoodles than most. Makes me wonder if there’s some kind of canine genetic engineering facility in Uptown, disguised as a Vietnamese restaurant or a bike repair shop.
I don’t usually weigh in on bioethical issues, being a comedy writer, an… Read full post »
I realize the title of this piece sounds like it could be some old-timey cliche (“Yeah, Jim in sales really ‘dropped the meatloaf’ on the Jenkins account”). Now, regular readers of my column will realize that this marks at least the third thing I’ve written that has s… Read full post »
As much as I’ve learned about cooking in the last year, one thing is preventing me from getting to the next level. No matter how good one of my ‘dinner experiments’ turns out, I’ll probably never be able to make that dish again. Oh, we’ll have something similar,… Read full post »
Since I do all the cooking for myself and the girlfriend, she only sees the finished product, not the (somewhat messy) process. This started of necessity, because for some reason, in the kitchen I turn into my mother, and I can’t stand anyone in… Read full post »
It's a little known fact that several famous authors, at one time or another, tried their hands at writing cookbooks. After exhaustive research, I have unearthed rare correspondance between these authors and their publishers, indicating the passion some of the history’s greatest writers felt… Read full post »
For the past year or so, I’ve been immersing myself in an extensive culinary crash course. OK, that’s not exactly true. The real truth is that I decided, as a kind of hands-on therapy for anxiety disorder, to teach myself to cook, with the help of Google and… Read full post »
Birthdays are funny things. I know, because I’ve had fifty-one of them. Frankly, I’m not sure I plan to have any others—don’t panic--I still intend to get older, I’m just done counting birthdays.
Certain ‘big deal’ birthdays were less than ‘big deals&… Read full post »
I’ve never catalogued all of my pet peeves, but I have quite a collection. Having pet peeves is great for killing time—sorta like having an actual pet, but with no cleanup, or having a hobby without having to buy glue and construction paper.
Most of my peeves relate to language.… Read full post »