The Crux of the Biscuit

MJwycha

MJwycha
Location
Pennsylvania,
Birthday
August 05
Bio
Crux of the Biscuit emerged fully formed on Jan 5 2009. The Crux primarily discusses music, makes fun of music, and celebrates music. The Crux also reserves the right to discuss movies, books, and other aspects of pop culture. And if you don't know what the crux of the biscuit is please, for the sake of humanity, educate yourself. Or look for the answer on my banner.

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JANUARY 31, 2009 6:01PM

Living on a Prayer? Tommy and Gina 23 years later

Rate: 10 Flag

 Dear Tommy,

    Hon, you once told me that we’d make it, you swore it to me. I told you that it didn’t matter if we make it or not. We were going to hold on to our love, because it was all we had. Well sweetie, times change.

 I was content back then because we had each other. That was alright then, but after all these years how about a little help with the bills? Would it kill you to wash a dish for chrissakes. I’ve got an idea! How about you get a fucking job!

     Frankly, Tommy I’m sick of hearing about how tough you’ve had it since you were laid off from the docks. Look, you haven’t worked in years. And stop trying to blame the unions. Anytime there’s an opening down at the docks, they mysteriously go on “strike.”

I know what you do with your day, I know you spend most of your day down at the bar telling anyone who will listen that you’re livin’ on a prayer, that you’re gonna get your guitar out of hock, and that you’re gonna “make it”.

I call bullshit; you’ve been living off my goddamn tips that’s what you’ve been livin’ off of. I work my ass off at that diner, and what do I get when I get home? A half drunk, overweight, out of work husband who spends hours playing ‘Guitar Hero,” reliving his glory days (speaking of which, and I’m saying this for your own good, out of love, really: I think it’s time you get rid of those acid washed jeans and cut that fucking mullet. Jesus Christ Tommy, who tight rolls their pants anymore?)

    I just can’t hold on to this toxic relationship anymore, and prayer isn’t helping (not with this economy!) So I’m leaving you Tommy. We gave it a shot and it didn’t work out. I’m pushing 45 hon, and I’ll be damned if I'm gonna spend the rest of my life wasting away in south Jersey with a fat, lazy, nogoodnik for a husband.

So, I’m moving out to California. Remember your Cousin Jon’s guitar playing friend? Ritchie? Yeah, well he’s single now, his guitar ain’t in hock, and he’s offering me a place to stay.

Good luck to you sweetie. Really. I mean that.

All the best,

Gina


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music, 80s, deadbeat husbands, humor

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This was great. Or, more fittingly, dude, this fuckin' A rocked!!!!!
Hee! Loved this. I think I need to go break out some of my old hair metal cd's. Oh, the memories.
too fuckin' cool, my man
This is beautiful!
Thanks for the comments guys!
God, I was 12 when this album came out, and I was living in New Jersey. It was impossible to get away from it. I think the mailman delivered copies to everyone. My only prayer was that I'd stop hearing this damn song!
Laughing, laughing, laughing.

Next, would you please check in on the narrator from Fast Car?

And immediately after that, Jack & Diane.

Also--did Rick Springfield ever suffer repercussions from Jessie? You know. Over his girl?

Staying tuned...
Verbal, I can't believe you mentioned Jessie's Girl! You're not going to believe this, but I almost wrote "Jessie's Girl": What about the Bro Code? I'll write that one next!
"His hair was peeeeeeeerfect! Dyup!"

(rated)
Wasn't everyone's hair perfect in the 80s?
I think I may have written a letter like this once...just a few years before this became famous. Musicians, ya gotta love em...
Okay, true story: My sixth grade teacher's sister was married to Tico Torres, the drummer for Bon Jovi. He came to our school, and there was this whole lesson on poetry using "Wanted Dead or Alive" as an intro to poetry and metaphor. I shit you not.
You may have tapped into a gold mine here. Look forward to the next. Very clever.

The White Sox pulled out this one when they had to win a bunch of games in a row last year. Still seems to go over big in a stadium setting.
jimmymac, you're right. I could do a whole series: characters from famous 80s songs. Verbal provided a few suggestions already...
Your blog is perfect, and I like this video. I find the information I need. bestech upcoming project