
A phone conversation between Jane and Suze, April 1995:
“Hi, Suze?”
“Yeah, hi Jane. So, how’d it go with Todd? Did you break up with him?”
“Umm, no.”
“But Jane, you have nothing in common with that guy!”
“I know, I told him that.”
“I mean Jane, you’re brilliant. You’re smart, and funny. You’re headed to Harvard Law School. You’re graduating with honors. And this Todd guy plays in that awful collage band. Christ he’s been in college for like 8 years now as an undergrad! Damn girl, what’s the matter with you?”
“Look Suze, I told him we have nothing in common, I did. But he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“Well, what did he say?”
“Well, he said that I’d say that the world has come between us, that our lives have come between us…”
“Wait, wait…what?” (momentary silence)… “what the fuck does that mean ‘our lives have come between us?’”
“Uh, he didn’t say that, it’s what he said I’d say.”
“What the…how could he…ugh, never mind. What else did he say?”
“Okay, see he was searching, umm, searching for something we have in common, and so he asked about Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”
“The book or the film?”
“There was a book?”
“Forget it. Well, what about the film?”
“I told him I think I remember the movie, I think I kind of liked it.”
“And?”
“That was it. That is what we have in common. He made a compelling case.”
(sounds of cursing and things breaking on Suze’s end of the line)
“Suze? Suze, are you still there?”
“Jane, what the hell is wrong with you? You are staying with a guy, who’s clearly wrong for you, who is in every sense of the word a loser, because you kind of remember liking a film!?”
“No, no Suze, you had to have been there. It was sweet, really, he can be sweet. He told me I was the only one who knew him.”
“But you don’t really know this guy Jane, you hooked up with him at that drunken frat party.”
“But he was so depressed; college is hard for him; he kept going on about how he ‘hates when things are over’ and how we both maybe liked Breakfast at Tiffany’s. He kind of got to me.”
“Jane, Jesus Christ, pull yourself together. Saying ‘I hate when things are over’ is something that a 3 year old would say.”
“I’m not going to argue with you Suze. I’m not going to argue with you.” (momentary silence)
“Jane, let me ask you something.”
“Go ahead.”
“How well do you remember the movie?”
“I’m not sure…I liked Audrey Hepburn. And there was that guy from the A-Team in it.”
“You remember what Holly and Paul did? For a living? How they made money?”
“Uh, umm, what? No. What does that have to do with any…”
“They were PROSTITUTES Jane. It was a story about prostitutes. That was what they had in common.”
“Oh. Hmm. Uhh…hmmm. (long silence) …Well, that kind of puts another spin on things, doesn’t it?”


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Comments
JustJuli, The lyrics to this song are awful. You're right though, that hook is evil. I remember driving with a girlfriend sometime in the middle 90s, and I started absently singing along to this song. I hadn't even realized what I was doing. She looked at me as though I had sprouted a foot out of my forehead.
These guys clearly made a deal with the devil. And now their hell is playing this song night after night at Ramada Inns throughout the Midwest.
what next, mr. too coo to be sappy? an expose on bread, the carpenters, america?
what the hell, thumbed for funny.
Wow, I just labeled myself a complete idiot, didn't I? Oh well, I'm goin' with it. Funny post, take care!
annette, don't sweat it. I am often curious as to how many people click on my posts and think "Why is this asshole writing about Deep Blue Something, that song sucked!" or "Who frigging cares about Bryan Adams?" LOL, anyway, thanks for stopping by!
Tom, yeah, the song lyrics are awful. Sometimes these posts just kind of write themselves.
and pleasepleaseplease do a breakdown of that Bread song in LOLcat.
please.