Mikah and I ventured to church for the first time in a little over a month.  Hesitant because of the current circumstances, why worship a God who seems to test you beyond anyone else, to continually let these things happen?  My Savior picked me out of the congregation and spoke to me and what better overview for this last Sunday's sermon, basing your joy on your relationship with Jesus Christ and not on the circumstances that surround you. Hmmmmmm, how I need to start trusting God and His promises to me, having faith that the circumstances are temporary and His grace is eternal.  Joy is a fruit of the spirit, a gift from the Holy Spirit.  Joy is not happiness.  Happiness is associated with circumstances, on the right happenings, so don't dwell on the happy and GET YOUR JOY UP!!!!!

To solidify this spiritual shake up, I watched Soul Surfer (NEED TO SEE!!!!) and heard one of  God's oh, so amazing promises again, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord  "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

A hope and a future?  Being so close to the problems, the circumstances, I have not taken into account all of my blessings....my apartment is finally put together, I can see the floor, my life is finally moving forward, my family loves me, my God loves me, and my soul's joy is ever present in my life.....these things are not dependent on happiness, some are wavering for circumstances (like the state of my apartment), but my family, my son, my God are there through everything inspite of my crazy moments.

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy “~Dale Carnegie

God gave me talents, gifts that are unique to me, what good are they just sitting at home watching tv or wallowing in my despair?  I am a bowl full of doubt and fear, but I will not be any longer!  I am encouraged by my OpenSalon friends to keep the faith.  Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

I don’t have a clear vision of what God is planning for my life, but I am here for a reason, I have certain gifts for a reason.  I have faith, hope, and God's grace to sustain me.  Thank you, Lord,  for this weekend, this Sunday, for the breath that flows from my lips as I type this, for my friends and family, and last but not least, I thank you for my son, my saving grace, my soul’s joy!~

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11: 28-29