They sat facing each other, holding hands. They did not mind the hard plastic chairs and barely noticed the people streaming all around them. They sat in the middle of all the rush and yet far away from everything on this earth. In their own parallel universe, oblivious to everything but each other.
“Why”, he asked. His question was not an accusation, nor a plea, not a rhetoric…just a simple question. He simply wanted to know why. Why she wanted to break up. Why she wanted to give up something that was magical, so ecstatic, so pure, so joyful that it seemed too good to be true, it felt unearthly to love and to be loved so…
“That is why…” she sighed, they did not need sound to communicate, just thinking them put the desired words in the other’s mind. He was bewildered, “You want us to separate because you think we’re too good for each other?” In his surprise he had let go of her small hands. She had withdrawn them the instant they were free as if pulling the anchor away for good. She counted that instant as the beginning of the rest of her life.
“Yes I do, What we have is out of the ordinary, it scares me. I do not want a perfect life, I want an ordinary one. I want to feel pain, in order to feel ecstacy. I have to be hurt, to feel love. What I have with you is so pure that I feel numb, numb with joy as one is numbed with pain. I want to feel again. With you there is only light. I am a lesser creature, I need darkness too, to know light when I see it.”
“With you, only my best is revealed, only the light in me finds expression. But that is not who I am. It is only a part of what makes me, me. The darkness in me needs expression too. The balance of good and bad that I have struck is me, with you the balance is askew. A part of me can never inhabit the world we have created.”
“With you I have come to know what heaven must feel like. But I am not ready to go there yet. I have a life to live…”
With that as a cue, her flight was announced. He inched forward to claim her hands again. She stepped back. Not so much physically….but he felt it, in her lowered gazed, in her fingers, tightened ever so little over the strap of the bag on her shoulder, in her shoulder barely tensed.
She dared not look at him. She had pulled her anchor from this safe harbor, knowing she may never find it again. Yet she wanted to…she was a creature of the wild blue seas, the turbulence was her sustenance.
Before exiting the boarding gate she looked back just once, at his face through the glass wall. To see for one last time what heaven would look like when she was ready for it.