The song "My House" brings back some very congruent images of the time between 1960 the year I was born to 1965 the year my single mom would leave her homestead. I refer to it as a homestead because my grandparents actually ran a business out of  the house. It was costumary and more to the period of time that people could manage to run a busniness out of their home. This was that type of house, only because there was enough store front room around 8 foot of walking area, definitely not big by any standard, but people do some amazing things with little space. My grandparents were no exception, I am also going to take this opportunity to put some links to some songs that I feel give further feeling as to how this house in particular implanted some of my first memories.

Here is the link for "My House" by "Crosby, Still's, Nash and Young"

http://youtu.be/bUADeRYIwW0

       By the time I was 6 years old, my single mom was living on top of the hill, being I lived at four addresses on the same street, it was really memorable. My whole life reads out like a book and I might just go and get it published one day, as it was relevant to the period of time I came up. I remember recieving my First Communion in that house, my dress was very nice, and my mother did my hair in big bananna curls, it was really something to see.

           While living at this address I remember one day coming home from school, I knew about the awful assignation of President Kennedy, even though I never witnessed it, people were still speaking about it. The other important news that was  blurting out of the deli that afternoon in 1968 was about the deceased President's brother Bobby Kennedy who was now also shot and killed. It seemed to hold me in indefinite motion as the woman left the store she repeated what was just said on the radio, "this is the second one they shot". The family I identified with moreso in those years were easily "The King Family" I enjoyed thier musical ability they displayed great family songs and sing alongs for the kids, along with playing the spoons, which I used to like to imitate. 

               We were on top of the hill, still with a mainly Italian back ground and with much of the population being of Italian heritage as well, I was being groomed to love macoroni/pasta depending on whos saying it, and love meat balls and braciole, and other Italian delicacies, yes this is being provided by my single Italian mother, no who did not have a boyfriend, no did not go out, she  was usually at a church function, or at church. Debbie Reynolds and Doris Day were frequent visitors at on our television screens, that is pre-dated by the time the 70's were in swing, the more popular vixens of the day would have been Ann Margret, Bridget Bardot, Zsa-Zsa Gabor. Getting back to the old neighborhood... 

        Yes, Mortadella was important as it  was on our table like a tradition, it is on my table today as well usually for holidays. You wouldn't want it to be overserved, other wise you wouldn't know it was a holiday.

 http://youtu.be/I-oKM54MPTU

            I was a frolicking little girl with seemingly no problems. Until one day, my mother called ol Dr. Suess (no it really wasn't Dr. Suess) but in my more imangined state of mind, he might have actually looked like him a little bit.  I remember him quite well with a doctors bag in his hand, I think my mothers chief complaint at that time was that I wouldn't stay still. I wanted to know about everything. The landlord had a pool in the yard, which for what ever reason didn't work.  I wanted to know about the pool that was in the yard, that I couldn't use. I think that sparked my love for them ever since, I have a love of pools. Despite the dangers of them, which I am well in tune with, (similar to my love of water) but I am aware of what water could do as well. It could swallow you whole if you let it, am I making at a attempt to be metaphoric? Yes, I would belive so, emotion is equivalent to water?

        It would be news to me, but sticking on my path towards sevenhood, I was still wacky and great fun to be around chasing butterflies, managing older friends. I don't remember having an older friend at that time, there was a little girl upstairs from me, but she was greatly sheltered. She was the only child the couple had, and as a result the parents were over protective. My mother wanted some of the older kids to keep on eye on me, it was hard for her as she had to be work. The school was straight down about 1/10 of a mile at the most. Thats not alot, but it's still a walk, for a 6 or 7 year old.  The streets were not the worse of it, but thats not the important part the imporant part is being with these kids who were really into themselves. They had nothing to do with me, so I was alone, and confused about kids, ages and the whole bit.

          While still at this address one day my mother wanted me to wash some dishes that were in the sink. I said I wanted to go out to play, she stated she wanted me to do the dishes in the sink. I remember feeling angry that she really wanted me to do the dishes, this inter-play kept  going I belive from then on I developed a sense of distaste for dish washing. Of course to not be confused with "not doing it" kind of mentality.  I learned to wash the dishes, but I knew that it was one of those chores that  I did not like. In my mind it sounds like the rhetoric in the "Peanuts" cartoon, when the adults are speaking and you know they are saying somthing, but it's about the what the children are hearing. I know that isn't nice, but it's truly the way I was feeling in those days. 

         Today,  I have  a dishwasher  as I knew this would also be an integral item in my childhood book of what I missed out on being rasied my single mom who was not only single but practical. She compromised many of the household purchases, we had a color t.v. but other items such as a dish washer were a luxury. "Bonanza" was great to watch in color my mom was not budging on the dishwasher especially when we didn't have extra. The dentist was another issue, as my mother had to go to Welfare in those days it was an  extremely unpleasant term, she didn't earn enough money to pay the dentist.  

            As far as the dentist goes, my mother had gone first her parents didn't believe in going to a dentist for so called regular visits.  They were from the old country, they immigrated from Sicilicy; from what I understand they came here aboard a ship when they were fifeteen years old give or take a year. They were sent to live with relatives at that time, and expected to make their own way with little or no education. These were values that they surely imparted to their children as well. Their children being my mother and relatives, it hurt me to hear my mother say she would have liked to write, still one of my earlier memories as to what she would have wanted to do, had she had her chioce to do anything she could.  Hearing the honesty register in her voice has hanted me to the present day, as a result I am enrolled in a great college that gives great attention to the mature college student and have gone on and off to fufill much of what was my mothers true vision for what she would have liked to become, but was told no by her stanch parents.

             Getting back to the sink full of dishes, many of the times I was slightly fustrated but just took it in stride that we had hands, and soap and sponges, even though my mother had a dish cloth it did the job.  By the time I was 8 years old, I belive we moved into a third floor apartment, my mother by this time had wanted me to be in a Catholic school. But she couldn't afford the tuition, I remember the stern sister looking at me back in 1968 it was not funny, her look seemed to steer clear of any path the devil or any bad representation could have taken. I would have been paddled senseless, well by my mothers observations.

       By that time, it was too late, I was learning to be sneaky. Thats what happens when little ones learn that most everything they do besides breathe and sh** can be wrong and will be wrong until the deputy deems them to be okay. But she was a good mom, she went to work right across the street, from where we lived, how convienent. I was still quite young, and began to explore things that were slightly above my understanding. It wasn't in my best interest, I have stated in previous blogs, that leaving young children alone for long periods of time, regardless of "others" watching  are incorrect.

http://youtu.be/7XDftMqLhS8

          As my time at this address is still full of throwbacks from the 50's and 60's  anything from the hair styles to the way people dressed the songs and  the ideas the way people presented themselves was still old fashioned. Even though it was changing, I remember a milk machine on the corner of our block. You put in the required amount of coins and got a quart of milk. I also remember a cool clothing store opened up which is still in operation today  I got my beautiful "Confirmation" dress there. I loved the color yellow, even though in those years the cool color was purple. The word to describe cool was what? Let me hear everyone say "Groovy", yep I was right in the creases of watching the old guard turn over to the "new generation" right along with the theme from the dating game with "Bob Ubanks",

http://youtu.be/yLpvqvDYkFU 

          What a funkadelic generation we were shaping up to be, now imangine I am around 9-12  or so walking through this. Between Burt Bacharauch tunes that kept spewing out as the standards of polite society, there were also the  lasting effects of The British Invasion showing something different to the otherwise clean cut sounds of groups like "The Everly Brothers", and "Tony Bennet" songs like "You Know I'd Go from Rags to Riches", were standards of the day. Other sounds were more of the times as the generation such as Roger Daltry "My Generation" were  huge reminders of the real change I would say with the "Tommy" albumn from "The Who" brought about the rebellion that fired up the 70's to be one of the most rebellious decades of the generation  I was around 13 years old still too young to be able to identify with the  real changes; people just a couple of years older than me would be immersed in what was happening in our society, such as the marches, the Civil rights march, people marched for Vietnam, it really was reminiscent of watching "The Wonder Years"

          "Deep Purple", "Jimi Hendricks", "Led Zepplin", "Rolling Stones" "David Bowie". I was not in touch with these artist as I was with "Petula Clark" and I loved her song "Down Town". I also loved "The Shirrles", "Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This", I loved "Doris Day" "Kay Sirra" I also loved "The Mama's and The Papa's", "Leaving on a Jet Plane". 

           These walls have created a place where these memorys would remain with me for years to come, they would flood my mind with fondness over a generation that you had to live in to get a glimse of the kalidoscope of characters to the likes of "Dr.Timothy Leary" I know I hear someone mention, "How did I not know she was going to mention that"? To most parents nightmare, he single handedly educated a society about a specific drug, namely LSD that was actully used to help schizophrenic patients. Little did he realize that through his use of LSD it would become the topic of the drug experience and lead through other visionarys and musicians such as The Jimi Hendrix experience, and many others that documented their odd occurences under the drugs influences. I still remember the schock waves as Art Linkletter had asked his audience to remember that drugs were bad, we were still kids. In my childs mind, I would be asking, "what are drugs", but as rumor has it, I belive his daughter was said to have committed suicide by beliving she could fly under the influence of LSD.

http://youtu.be/AO073fekFfA

          The year I was going to be confirmed my mother had allready chosen my given confirmation name. Conviently it was the name of my soon to be god mother, this was another big event in the eyes of my mother I was being groomed to be a good Catholic girl, which I was, except for others who tried to corrupt  me. Between the culture and my curisioty I guess it was the cat that got the best of me. My mothers sense of common sense never went out of style, as my wholesomness was being tested by new versions of the toaster, it was clear I was never to be my mothers daughter, but live I lived enough in her command, that I knew when people had thier  houses  in order and when they were not.

             I saw many things growing up in those times that truthfully I wish I hadn't. There are those that take advantage of a young girl who by merit, is far from being able to obey by sense rather than blind ambition. Many young girls head down a path, that seems to share a young girls enthusiasm for being sexy, cute, and promiscuious. I saw many types of young girls and was exposed to other types of lifestyles, that my old fashioned mother would quickly glance at, and say a prayer it was too late the damage was done. Even though by no sense of admission, the inner sanctum had been destroyed. The ability to know that common sense is not a simple matter, but a highly theorhetical matter, that laps itself into the  life and art of those that can savor it's quality. Most would love a cup full, but manage to turn it sour or ignore it's merits in turn for fast fun, or other areas of lifes scenes where if a person is not careful they are sure to get burned. Many of the presumptions that people may have casually disregared as me being a child and not understanding I understood well I   became slightly fustrated as one could understand.

           There is a whole different sense of a household that has a mother and father, as opposed to a single parent household. It was hard for my mother, I was often resentful and rebellious I didn't  get the other aspect of how hard it was to keep her observations with  her feet ground. Other examples flowed through me  some of great parental models, but mostly all were somehow biased by the male being the dominant force. My mother did not approve of that type of mentality, secretly I think she hated it. That would also lead me to belive that may have come from witnessing her own father be stanch and over dominate in household affairs. I mean to say, back in the thirties  or so when she was being raised, there were completely different roles about men and women. 

         Back to recieving my sacrements, I told my mother at that time, that I wanted my confirmation name to be "Marsha" don't laugh she was my idol from, "The Brady Bunch" I am sure that one day the show will be part of "The Smithsonian Musuem". It was just an incredible show, I am pretty sure I have watched my full share of "The Brady Bunch".

       The idea that I truly wanted to touch on was the wide range of free flowing images of old wall paper patterns that I still dream of to this day. The memorys have faded much like the tale of how my family had this house that still exists today, but is no where the same except in my memory. I have many pictures to prove it's existense, but still feel so many of the memorys as though they are a glance away. In some of the pictures I am three or so years of age, both of my grandparents have died at this point. But the daughter and the son who the house was left to, was not left in good standing. As a result the brother that was left also had to come to terms with a vapid vision gone bad, and had to leave as a result of being bought out. He had no vision, only one that my grandmother had provided after she died there was nobody that was going to provide any further vision.