Wanna bet?

Seriously? We’ve all heard them, and most of us, by which I mean me, at least, have even asked them. Just because we want to reassure the questioner that they’re whip smart (which is an analogy I don’t quite get, what with whips not being known for their intelligence), we say, “there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” or, “the only stupid question is the unasked one.”

Really?

Of course there are stupid questions. With all the information in the world and most of us unable to keep only the very smallest portion in our brains, we’re bound to ask a stupid question now and then. For me, it’s more of an ongoing sort of issue. I ask stupid questions all the time. I admit it. And I’m not exactly stupid. I’m not even dull. I’m smarter than the average bear, which is another analogy I don’t quite get, because honestly, how many bears have even had IQ tests?

Stupid question, right?

I certainly don’t want anyone to stop asking questions on the off chance they may ask a stupid question. I would like it if they wouldn’t lash out at the person trying to help. It’s not as if we’re (and here I’m identifying with the answerer) trying to point out the stupidity of the question. Take this example, none of which involved me: Questioner asks a very basic accounting question to an online forum. And then another. One respondent asked, “Are you in school? Because you’ve asked very basic questions that would be answered in a first year textbook.” (Typically we don’t like to help with homework, and this particular respondent answers numerous accounting questions every day.)

Questioner responded with, “Yes, I am. You could just ignore me instead of posting negative comments. Who are you, anyway? If you don’t want to answer a question, don’t. I can ask anything I want.”

And the questioner is absolutely right. She can ask anything she wants. Her expectation that she will only receive answers she deems helpful is a bit off-base though.

Why can’t I tell people their question is stupid? Not that I would, because that’s just rude, but still. If I’m asking stupid questions on a regular basis, I’d want someone to tell me. Heck, tell me if it’s just one stupid question. Doesn’t mean I won’t keep asking it, and it doesn’t even mean I’ll listen to you, but if it’s stupid, it’s stupid.

Wait. Perhaps I shouldn’t advocate for telling people their questions are stupid. Social mores are already at a low point. The Internet has already made it possible for people to interact with more than the recommended daily dose of venom and hate. The world is already rude and obnoxious. Half of us walk around in fear of offending someone and the other half walk around being offensive.

Which half are you in?

Don’t tell me – stupid question, right?

I knew it.

Then there’s the third half, who listen to stupid questions and then answer them anyway, without pointing out that they’re stupid, knowing that often we too have stupid questions, and that it’s okay. Sometimes the questions are so obvious as to be transparent, but we ask anyway. Sometimes the question itself doesn’t make sense, at least not as we understand sense on this planet. Sometimes it’s something the asked thinks everyone else should know because, after all, we know it. Sometimes the question is just stupid.

And don’t be telling me there’s no such thing as a third half. I can say anything I want, it’s a free country, right?

Was that a stupid question again?

So yes, there are stupid questions. They abound. Don’t be afraid to ask a stupid question because someone has to ask them, and if not you, who? Me? I don’t think so.

Ignore that last sentence. We all ask stupid questions. It’s okay to ask stupid questions. My goal is to normalize stupid question asking. (What’s with “normalize” anyway?) Just don’t be surprised to get a stupid answer, or an answer that questions your stupidity. Only questions are stupid, not people.

Unless you really are stupid, in which case I’m not talking to you, and even if I were you wouldn’t understand any of this. You know who you are. Or maybe you don’t.

Did you get all that?

(I know, stupid question.)